Friends | Tyrone P. Jones | House of David

All right, I'm going to ask you to stand. And today, I'm going to ask you to go to the Gospel of John, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John. It's the last gospel, the fourth book in the New Testament. This is the last week that I'm going to actually address...I'm going to deal with David throughout the Book of Acts. We're going to go into the Book of Acts next week. I'm going to address David throughout that, but this is the last one that's focusing in on the kind of the genesis of what we see in David. Again, we don't like to do movies in the church, but again, I'll use a few clips just this last time to illustrate some things, and then we'll get on with what the Lord is saying. John Chapter 15. We're going to talk about friendship today. Friendship. John Chapter 15, verses 12 through 17. And here is the word of the Lord. This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that somebody lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing, but I've called you friends. For all that I have heard from my father, I've made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another. So far, the reading of the word, can you say amen? You may be seated. I was with Pastor, actually, of the Heart Church in Coeur d'Alene, and Pastor J.O., Jonathan Owens, he gave a message on brotherhood. And what he began with, or somewhere in the message, he talked about survival skills. Of course, they're, you know, wilderness area there in Idaho, mountains, do a lot of outdoor stuff, a lot of hunting, etc. And he says, of course, you need to know some things pertaining to fire, or water, and shelter, and food, and navigation, and all of that stuff. But he went into a story about going hunting alone by himself. And it was a big game hunt, and he just did it on his own.

And this is what he said, but one of the most crucial and often overlooked survival skills has nothing to do with equipment, or tents, or GPS units, or navigation. It has everything to do with people. So, he goes on to describe that anytime you go into the back country, especially in his case, on your own, there needs to be multiple people who know where you're going, know when you're going in, when you're expected to come out. So, if you don't show up, then those people will come looking for you, because they know where you're supposed to be. So, he said, the most important question beyond camping and hunting is, do you have someone who you know will come looking for you? I want to talk about friendship today, because I think one of the most powerful friendships in the scripture is this one of what we see of David and King Saul's son, Jonathan. I think their friendship really lines out some goals that all of us should have in relationships that we're developing in that manner. They're going to prepare clip one, but I want you to hear the big idea of this, and then you'll see the first clip. God never intended for you to go through life alone. He never intended for you to go through life alone. Let's see that first clip. This is after the battle with Goliath, and Jonathan has already come into the conclusion that David probably was the anointed one. And so, when he said to him, is there anything you want to ask me? That's what David was fishing for. But Jonathan just lets him know that he's part of my house. He didn't answer the question at the time. I want you to hear 1 Samuel 18. This is pertaining to this scene. When David had finished speaking with Saul, Jonathan was bound to David in close friendship

and he loved him as much as he loved himself. Saul kept David with him from that day on and did not let him return to his father's house. Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as much as himself. Then Jonathan removed the robe he was wearing and gave it to David along with his military tunic, his sword, his bow, and his belt. And so what the scripture describes is the love relationship that Jonathan and David had. I just wanna take a moment and I won't spend too much time with it in case some of you get uncomfortable, but I do wanna address just the erroneous teaching that depicts David and Jonathan's relationship as that of homosexual. It's out there, so-called pastors and Christian leaders. You can go on YouTube and find someone teaching it any given time, just a couple of statements out of a couple of messages. I don't even know if I need to tell you the pastor's name. You might look for him, but one of the things he said is he spoke his whole message was deliberately reading the queer Christian perspective. And he emphasized that Jonathan's whole self being was bound to David, their covenant, their kiss, his tears, that Jonathan had a love for David in a manner that was like a love that someone would have for a woman in all expressions. Another message just explicitly

just presented the queer religious model and say that their story is the one that gives divine support to same-sex couples. The problem is is that a whole lot of folks wanna teach out of emotion and they don't do the work to study the passage. And you got words here, the word bound together, the Hebrew word there is kashar. It means knitted together, allied, bonded and sold, close attachment, but not any means at all is an implying sexual. A very close relationship, a friendship, a social affection. The word love there in Hebrew is havav. It means genuine affection and loyalty. No sexual love itself and does not have to be. The problem is that we nowadays unfortunately we don't know how to define love when people are bound together in soul without determining that there's some inordinate affection there. We've lost a manner of how to define love that two people can have for each other that's not sexual. The word havav, that same word for love is depicted a love for wisdom, a love for wine, a love for peace, a love for truth, a love for tasty food. Nothing gay about any of those. As a matter of fact, if that word

was to define homosexual love, then I'm as queer as a $3 bill because I love all of those. Wisdom, wine, peace, truth, and tasty food. The same word is used to describe the love for people and our love for God and described to use God's love for his people. So it's describing a deep love between two men who are friends. David and Jonathan had an intense love for each other. That's unquestionably true. The narrator says it repeatedly throughout 1 Samuel. But you don't have to diminish their love in order to take on this sexual interpretation. Most Western people, again, have been so accustomed to describing profound male love intensity in such a sexual manner that honestly, we've kept ourselves from having true brotherhood. We've kept ourselves from having true brotherhood. We see the word here in the New Testament, it's phileo, it means. means brotherly love. I want you to play clip two and I'll go a little bit further. Love that scene because to me it shows one of the real qualities of friendship. Things that David wasn't not supposed to share but he came to a place where he could trust Jonathan. Of course, Jonathan is initiating it as I told you earlier, Jonathan had a clue.

So instead of asking him, was he anointed? He said, tell me about it. David was able to tell him what it felt like but also talked about the loneliness but Jonathan said to him, you're not alone. He wasn't talking about God there. He was talking about him knowing that his life was at risk and we'll talk about that later. I was with a group of pastors on a coaching call that I did and I just reminded them, listen, every one of you has to have a friend that knows enough about you that they can destroy you but they love you enough that they won't. They love you enough that they won't. Dan Cox, he identified what he called this social friendship recession. Since the 90s, he's noticed that close friends for people has plummeted and it's with every age group. It's with every gender, it's with every income level, every race, every marital status. On an average now, men will spend seven times more in front of a TV than they will with a close friend. Women will spend more time with their pets than they will face to face with people who's their own species, by the way. And so, you can build a life and live a life without talking to people. We can go through drive-throughs at the bank. We can have DoorDash deliver our food. You can have groceries delivered to you.

This is having disastrous effect upon humans. Social isolation has proven to weaken the immune system. I could go into stats on people suffering from all kind of ailments because of loneliness. I noted in my book, Grip by Hope, that loneliness is as hard on the body as someone smoking 15 cigarettes a day. 15 cigarettes a day. The worst punishment you can do for anyone in prison is to put them in solitary confinement. And yet, many of us are choosing to live in solitary confinement. Let me read to you a passage, and we'll do one more clip, and then I'll bring this message home. And this one is rather long, but we are in church, and we do read the Bible, so this may be more verses than you're used to, and it won't be on the screen. First Samuel chapter 21 through 17. Then David fled from Nioph and Ramah and came and said before Jonathan. This is, now he's on the run. It's very close to one of the clips we showed recently. He hasn't went to Nob yet to get Goliath's sword, but he's on the run. He said to Jonathan, what have I done? What is my guilt, and what is my sin before your father that he seeks my life? And he said to him, far from it, you shall not die. Behold, my father does nothing either great or small without disclosing it to me,

and why should my father hide this from me? It is not so. But David vowed again, saying, your father knows well that I have found favor in your eyes, and he thinks, do not let Jonathan know this, lest he be grieved. But truly, as the Lord lives, and as your soul lives, Jonathan, there is but one step between me and death. Then Jonathan said to David, whatever you say, I will do for you. David said to Jonathan, behold, tomorrow is the new moon, and I should not fail to sit at the table with the king, but let me go, that I may hide myself in the field till the third day at evening. If your father misses me at all, then say, David earnestly asked to leave, leave off to run to Bethlehem, his city, for there is a yearly sacrifice there for his family. If your father says good, it will be well with your servant, but if he is angry, then know that harm is determined by him to me. Therefore, deal kindly with your servant, for you have brought your servant into a covenant of the Lord with you. But if there is guilt in me, kill me yourself, for why should you bring me to your father? And Jonathan said, far it be from you. If I knew that there was determined by my father that harm should come to you, would I not tell you? Then David said to Jonathan, who will tell me if your father answers you roughly?

And Jonathan said to David, come, let us go into a field. So they both went out into the field. And Jonathan said to David, the Lord, the God of Israel, be witness. When I have sounded out my father about this time tomorrow, the third day, behold, if he is well disposed towards you, I shall not then send, will I not send and disclose it to you? But should it please my father to do your harm, the Lord do so to Jonathan and more also if I do not disclose it to you and send you away that you may go in safety. May the Lord be with you as he has been with my father. If I'm still alive, show me the steadfast love of the Lord that I may not die. And do not cut off your steadfast love from my house forever when the Lord cuts off every one of the enemies of David from the face of the earth. You'll see that in just a moment. Jonathan is saying, listen, when I'm gone, I know what happens with kings. You gotta get rid of all the enemies. I'm asking you, please spare my family. Spare my family. And Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David saying, may the Lord take vengeance on David's enemies. And Jonathan made David swear again by his love for him that he loved him as he loved his own soul.

Just a few more verses in verse 35. So this takes place. And in the morning, Jonathan went out into the field to the appointment with David with him, a little boy. Sure enough, Saul reacted badly because David wasn't there and threatened to kill him. Jonathan goes out with his armor boyer in verse number 36. And he said to his boy, run and find the arrows that I shoot. As the boy ran, he shot an arrow beyond him. And when the boy came to the place of the arrow that Jonathan had shot, Jonathan called after the boy and said, is not the arrow beyond you? And Jonathan called the boy, says, hurry, be quick, do not stay. So Jonathan gathered up his arrows and gave them, the boy gathered them up and gave them to his master. But the boy knew nothing. Only Jonathan and David knew the matter. Jonathan had said, if I shoot the arrow beyond you, that means you gotta run. My father's after you. And sure enough, he shot the arrow beyond him. And Jonathan gave his weapons to his boy and said to him, go and carry them to the city. As soon as the boy had gone, David rose from beside the stone heap and fell on his face to the ground and bowed three times. And they kissed one another and they wept one another, David weeping the most. Then Jonathan said to David, go in peace

because we've sworn both of us in the name of the Lord saying, the Lord shall be between me and you and between my offspring and your offspring forever. And they rose and departed and Jonathan went into the city. They knew that they would probably never see each other again. Let's play this last clip. It's probably one of the most emotional scenes for me in the whole series because of what was happening there. Jonathan knew there was a possibility that when everything takes place that his family could certainly be destroyed. And he's trusting David's friendship and love to protect his family. He also recognizes that God's hand is upon David. Now, mind you, Jonathan was the one in line to be king, but yet Jonathan makes a decision to protect David from his own father. He recognizes that David's gonna become king. And so he relinquishes the role that he has for the love of his friend and extracts that promise out of him, which when you read 2 Samuel, you'll discover that David did keep his promise when he rescued Mephibosheth, which is a wonderful story in its own. Here's what I know. A real friend doesn't merely celebrate what God is doing for them. A real friend can celebrate what God is doing in you

even when the blessing costs them something. Even when the blessing costs them something, they can celebrate it. Proverbs 26 says, "'Many will say they are loyal friends, "'but who can find one who's truly reliable?' C.S. Lewis says," Hopefully many of you have read some of his writings, wonderful stuff. He had a group of friends that they called the Inklings. They were all authors, J.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis. They would gather in a pub in Oxford and they would talk and they would enjoy each other's company and one of C.S. Lewis' writings, he said it was one of his most chief pleasures. It's just after a day's work was spent in time with his friends. Proverbs 27.10 says, never abandon a friend, either yours or your father's. That's what I think of, regardless of the reasons and the excuses, it's so hard to have solid friendships. You got to fight for face-to-face friendships. You got to fight for it. I want to give you four benefits of friendship. I'm sure you could come up with more, but with the time I got, I want to give you four things. Number one, why do we need friends? We need friends for navigation of life. Decisions in life are murky. It can get funky when you got to make decisions. We need people, someone who is helping us, if I use this illustration, to read the arrows. You need friends who can help you see where you're going. Proverbs 11.14 says, where there is no wise, intelligent guidance, the people fall off and go off course like a ship without a helm. But in the abundance of wise and godly counselors, there is a victory. There's safety. Jonathan literally used arrows to tell David whether he should stay or go. The question is, who's deciphering the arrows in your life?

Who's deciphering arrows to you? And you know as well as I do, if you listen to the wrong voices, you're going to end up in the wrong places. A clear example of that, we can find it in Scripture, even in the book of Exodus, when the children of Israel was told to go into the promised land. Twelve spies were sent out. The Lord had already told Moses what could happen, what was going to happen. But for the people's sake, send out the spies. And sure enough, if you may recall, 10 of them came back with a report of fear and anxiety, and we can't do it, let's turn around, let's go back, let's not follow this man, et cetera. Two of them, Caleb and Joshua, insisted that this can be done. Listen to the voice of the Lord. Listen to the voice of the one who's leading us. But instead, the people followed the voices of the other 10 and ended up walking in the wilderness for 40 years until every one of them that was older than the age of 20 died off. So we need friends for navigation of life. Here's the second thing, we need friends for formation in life. I need friends in my life who can help me become who God is calling me to be, help me become who God is calling me to be. I can even remember, even when I was living a bachelor in life in my teen years, there was a lot of great things about going to Yuma High. There was some stuff about Yuma High that just jacked me up, made me just as bad as everybody else. But I would be out with some of my buddies who knew that my life in Christianity, my life in faith, that even as a young child that I served in the church, I can remember many times hanging out with them. And it'd be inevitable, someone would look at me and say, man, you know you don't belong here. You're doing the same things we're doing and you know this is not the life for you. You don't belong here. We need that. We need people who can help us become who God called us to be. Proverbs 27, 17 says, as iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. You need people who can smooth out some rough spots and who you let smooth out your...sorry, who lets you smooth out their rough spots. And so we need friends for formation in life. Here's the third thing.

We need friends to keep us from drifting. Drift happens. Distractions happen. Mindsets that may not be absolutely right on target can infect us. We need people who will call us out. I need friends to love me enough to tell me when I'm off track. Proverbs 27, 6 says, wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. Listen to that. We are people who love admiration, but hear the word of the Lord. It's not always the ones who's kissing you and telling you how great you are and flattering you that are real friends. Sometimes, you receive some hurt from people who really do love you and who are really friends. Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. You can't overlook the portion in... in Galatians when Paul confronted Peter. He knew Peter was off track. He was sitting up there enjoying all of the food and all of the luxuries of hanging out with the Gentiles until the other Jews came, and then Peter wanted to stand up and condemn the Gentiles for being Gentiles. And Paul came along and said, "'No, no, you're wrong on this. "'What you're doing is wrong. "'How you're caring yourself is wrong. "'And if you don't have friends "'that can help you to keep from drifting, "'you're gonna end up on the wayside. "'You gotta intentionally let people get inside.'" And here's the last thing, and team, you can come on and come on up. The last thing is you need friends for collaboration. Romans 16, I'm not gonna read it all, but Romans 16, one through 23,

Paul is signing off the book of Romans, and he lists 35 people in there by name, 35 people. When everybody was just celebrating how great Paul was, Paul listed 35 people to let us all know that ministry is not a solo act, that he needs friends to accomplish whatever God wants him to accomplish. He can't do it alone. Tolkien, he writes about the fact that he's the one who done Lord of the Rings. He says, I would have never finished that without C.S. Lewis. He said, for years, he was the only audience I had, and I did not think I could finish it. I didn't know where to land on it. And he said this about Lewis, the unpayable debt I owe him was not influence, but sheer encouragement, sheer encouragement. Probably one of my favorite scenes in Lord of the Rings is when Frodo is, I mean, yeah, Frodo is given the assignment and is getting ready to head out to Mordor and after they got all the instructions from Gandalf and he tells Samwise Gamgee, who was his friend, that I'm gonna go to Mordor, and Samwise Gamgee responds, of course you are, and I'm going with you. Listen to me. Teamwork gets, it gets the dream to work, being with people. There is one exception.

I told you what Dan Cox said about loneliness. There's one exception. Out of his study, he found one exception to the recession of friendship. He says, the only people that I can discover has an adequate amount of close friends are people who attend church regularly. People who attend church regularly. Listen to me. That's not an accident, folks. That's God's design. That's the design. The scripture says God sets the solitary into a family. The church is not just where we go to learn about friendship. It's where you find it. Next week, there's a CLG fair, a city life group fair for small groups. I'm telling you, that is a place where you find friends, people that you can spend time with, and I encourage you to do that. I think one of the greatest witnesses of the church is generation after generation, we can decrease the amount of loneliness that people feel in the world. I was speaking of Pastor J.O. When I was at the church, The Heart is the name of his church, and I was telling this to the staff. They do three services like us,

and every time he goes up and he greets the church, and he says, welcome to The Heart Church. He says, where everybody knows your name, and we're all glad that you came. We're cheers without the beers. I love it. I love it. He does it every time. That should be the truth about the house of God. Proverbs 18, 24 says this. The man of too many friends, chosen indiscriminately, just popping off calling this one a friend, this one a friend, this one a friend, will be broken in pieces and come to ruin. But there is a true loving friend who is reliable and sticks closer than any brother. Going back to the wilderness, who would come looking for you if you got lost in life? Who knows you well enough to know that something isn't going right? Who can tell when you're pulling away? Who can tell when you're getting cold in your faith? Who can tell if you're struggling in your marriage? Who can tell when you're making decisions that's not quite like you? Who loves you enough, not to just say, I'll pray for you, but they'll come after you.

Everybody needs that person. Every night, everybody needs somebody looking for them. David had Jonathan, Paul had those folks in Romans 16, Tolkien had Louis, Frodo had Sam. Who do you have? Now, you know me by now. Even with talking about friendship, you know that's a head fake, right? This ain't really about David and Jonathan's friendship, is it? You know whose friendship this is about. This is about the friendship of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Because before you went looking for him, God came looking for us. God came looking for us. When we were lost, Jesus came. When we wandered, Jesus came. When we were in our sin, Jesus came. He says, there's no greater love than this, than to lay down your life for your friends. Jonathan was willing to surrender the throne for his friend. Jesus left the throne for his friends. Jonathan risked his life for David, but Jesus gave his life for us. John 15, 15, he says, I do not call your servants anymore because a servant doesn't know what his master is doing. I've called you friends because I've made known to you everything that the Father has given to me. Usually, I got a lot more to say after I finish my notes there, but not today. I'm done. You can stand. Because here's the deal. You need a friend, someone you can look in the eyes and who'll look you in the eyes.

But you need the greater friend, and that's Jesus. He came to rescue you. He came to find you. He came to deliver you. He came to save your soul and transform you. So, I'm going to encourage you, prayer team, you can come. I'm going to encourage you. You work hard to develop some friendships that are absolutely true friendships. If you got to dump some folks in your life who are just haphazard and acquaintances that can take you from one end of thinking to another and one thought and another thought and who don't have the consistency of your biblical worldview, dump those folks and find some folks who love you enough, who care enough, who'll be kind enough to speak truth to you. And you can speak truth to them. And together, you can develop a friendship that's healthy and right. But above all, above all, develop a relationship with Jesus Christ. Look to him, not only as Lord and Savior, but a friend. Jesus says, I call you friends. A friend will tell another friend everything they need to know about the best of their life. Father, I want to thank you now for this opportunity to share your word, to minister the gospel. I pray, Lord God, that you work in the heart and the life of everyone who's heard this message. That some, Lord God, will truly be on a pursuit and maybe surrender those walls and those things that's kept them from really allowing people to be friends in their life, that they will find a person or two that they really, really will allow to love them and to be friends to them. That iron may sharpen iron and they may know what it's like to have someone that's a lasting brother, a lasting sister.

But above all, Lord, I pray that every one of us can be named like Abraham was named, that Tyrone, Billy, Sally, Susie, they are friends of God. Father, we thank you and we love you. In Christ's name, we pray. Amen. God bless you.