Friend | The Gathering 2026 | Calvary Women

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♪ And in me, I'm free ♪ ♪ And look at what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I was ♪ ♪ I'll sing out days 'cause I've been ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free ♪ ♪ They got I'm free ♪ ♪ It's no more, yeah ♪ ♪ I've got I'm free, I've got I'm free ♪ ♪ They never quit ♪ ♪ No other loves is good as this ♪ ♪ And I don't care what anyone says ♪ ♪ I'll never be ashamed to raise life ♪ ♪ See ya! ♪ ♪ Where are those chains that I wanna sell me ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free, I'm free ♪ ♪ My sin is gone, I'm heavy ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free, I'm free ♪ ♪ And look at what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I was ♪ ♪ And I'll sing out days 'cause I've been ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free ♪ ♪ This is gonna take part of free ♪ ♪ You took the cross and you broke your bond ♪ ♪ You shed your blood, now the sinner can't see ♪ ♪ My debt is pain and our equities ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ You took the cross and you broke your bond ♪ ♪ You shed your blood, now the sinner can't see ♪ ♪ My debt is pain and our equities ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪

♪ You took the cross and you broke your bond ♪ ♪ You shed your blood, now the sinner can't see ♪ ♪ My debt is pain and our equities ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ You took the cross and you broke your bond ♪ ♪ You took the cross and you broke your bond ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ There are all those chains that I won't steal ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free, I'm free ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free, my sin is gone, I'll get ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'm free ♪ ♪ I'm free, I'm free, I'm free, I'll get what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I will soon ♪ ♪ I'll sing out days 'cause I'm free, I'm free, I'm free ♪ ♪ You took the cross and you broke your bond ♪ ♪ You shed your blood, now we're sinning cares ♪ ♪ I can't, I can't stay in my way ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, oh my, oh ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪ ♪ I couldn't do it, so you did it for me ♪

♪ I'm never going back to the way I do ♪ ♪ Look at what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I look at the Lord ♪ ♪ Look at what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I look at the Lord ♪ ♪ Look at what the Lord has done ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I look ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I look at the way I look ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I look ♪ ♪ I'm never going back to the way I look ♪ ♪ Let's just lift our hands right here to the Father ♪ ♪ Let's just say something to Him ♪ ♪ Come on, let's open up our mouth and give Him glory ♪ ♪ Nobody else like our God ♪ ♪ Nobody else is worthy of our praise ♪ ♪ Worthy of our worship ♪ ♪ Everybody like Him, who else is worthy ♪ ♪ We love you tonight, Jesus ♪ ♪ Bless your name ♪ ♪ I am an instrument of exaltation ♪ ♪ And I was born to lift your name above all names ♪ ♪ You hear the melody of all creation ♪ ♪ But there's a song that breaks that only I can bring ♪ ♪ Let me hear you, who else is worthy ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ That's it, Calvary, come on ♪ ♪ There is no one for you ♪ (upbeat music) ♪ There is no one for you Jesus ♪ ♪ There is no one for you Jesus ♪

♪ You are the infinite God of the ages ♪ ♪ Yeah, You chose to make my heart you dwell ♪ ♪ You healed my brokenness, showed me your glory ♪ ♪ So I have songs of things not even angels ♪ ♪ And who else is worthy ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ There is no one for you Jesus ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ - Tell your king today. ♪ There is no one for you Jesus ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ There is no one only you Jesus ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ I hear you all ♪ ♪ There is no one ♪ ♪ Only you Jesus ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ And who else is worthy ♪ ♪ Lord ♪ ♪ There is no one only you Jesus ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ There is no one ♪ ♪ Only you Jesus ♪ ♪ There is no one high ♪ ♪ No one great ♪ ♪ Then our king ♪

♪ Then our love ♪ - Just in your own song, tell 'em how great he is. Just tell 'em what you're thankful for. ♪ He been so good ♪ ♪ And the garden boy to run ♪ ♪ Wasn't his yet telling me ♪ ♪ See it in your heart ♪ ♪ Holy, holy ♪ ♪ This is who he is ♪ ♪ Jesus Christ be lifted up ♪ ♪ Holy, holy ♪ ♪ Lamb of God anointed one ♪ ♪ Who was and is and is to come ♪ ♪ See it on the throne above ♪ ♪ Holy, holy ♪ ♪ Right just one who shays ♪ ♪ But to prove to us the Father's love ♪ ♪ Jesus Christ be lifted up ♪ ♪ Holy, holy ♪ ♪ Lamb of God anointed one ♪ ♪ Who was and is and is and is ♪ ♪ Come on ♪ ♪ See it on the throne ♪ ♪ Oh, holy, holy ♪ ♪ Right just one who shays ♪ ♪ But to prove to us the Father's love ♪ ♪ Jesus Christ be lifted up ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ There is not one ♪

♪ Holy, you Jesus ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ It's only you ♪ ♪ Who else is worthy ♪ ♪ There's no one ♪ ♪ There is not one ♪ ♪ Holy, you Jesus ♪ ♪ There is not one ♪ ♪ Holy, you Jesus ♪ ♪ There is not one ♪ ♪ Holy, you Jesus ♪ ♪ And the angels cry ♪ ♪ Hallelujah ♪ ♪ You are lifted high ♪ ♪ Holy, holy ♪ ♪ Holy forever ♪ ♪ Would you hear us Lord ♪ ♪ Hear your people sing ♪ ♪ Holy ♪ ♪ To the king of kings ♪ ♪ Holy ♪ ♪ You will always be ♪ ♪ Holy ♪ ♪ Holy forever ♪ ♪ 'Cause you have been ♪ ♪ So good to me ♪ ♪ Oh God, I can't believe ♪ ♪ You love to me ♪ ♪ And what a friend you have been ♪ ♪ So good to me ♪

♪ Oh God, I can't believe ♪ ♪ How you love to me ♪ ♪ And what a friend you have been ♪ ♪ Someone but to me ♪ ♪ Oh God, I can't believe ♪ ♪ How you love to me ♪ ♪ And what a friend you have been ♪ ♪ So good to me ♪ ♪ Oh God, I can't believe ♪ ♪ How you love me ♪ ♪ And what a friend you have been ♪ ♪ So good to me ♪ ♪ Oh God, I can't believe ♪ ♪ How you love to me ♪ ♪ And what a friend you have been ♪ ♪ So good to me ♪ ♪ Oh God, I can't believe ♪ ♪ How you love me ♪ ♪ And what a friend you have been ♪ ♪ So good to me ♪ ♪ Oh God, I can't believe ♪ ♪ How you love me ♪ ♪ And what a friend you have been ♪ ♪ So good to me ♪ ♪ Oh God, I can't believe ♪ ♪ How you love me ♪ ♪ And what a friend you have been ♪ ♪ And what a friend you have been ♪ ♪ And what a friend you have been ♪ ♪ We sing of your goodness ♪

♪ You keep singing to him ♪ ♪ We sing of your goodness ♪ ♪ Yes, we keep singing ♪ ♪ Your goodness ♪ It's got to sing it out, your goodness. ♪ Your goodness is running out ♪ ♪ It's running out to me ♪ You guys sing it, your goodness. ♪ Your ♪ ♪ When my life lay down ♪ ♪ I'm surrendered now ♪ ♪ We give you everything ♪ ♪ Your goodness is running out ♪ ♪ It's running out to me ♪ ♪ Your goodness is running out ♪ ♪ It's running out to me ♪ ♪ Your goodness ♪ ♪ Your goodness is running out ♪ ♪ It's running out to me ♪ ♪ If my life lay down ♪ ♪ I'm surrendered now ♪ ♪ I give you everything ♪ ♪ Your goodness is running out ♪ ♪ It's running out to me ♪ ♪ Your goodness is running out ♪ ♪ It's running out to me ♪ ♪ Your goodness ♪ ♪ Your goodness is running out ♪ ♪ It's running out to me ♪ ♪ When my life lay down ♪

♪ I'm surrendered now ♪ ♪ I give you everything ♪ ♪ Your goodness is running out ♪ ♪ It's running out to me ♪ ♪ Your goodness is running out ♪ ♪ Your goodness is running out ♪ ♪ And all my life ♪ ♪ You've got ♪ ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ ♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Oh, I'm gonna sing ♪ ♪ Of the goodness of God ♪ ♪ Oh, my life ♪ ♪ All my life you have been faith ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, my life ♪ ♪ All my life you have been so ♪ ♪ So good ♪ ♪ With every breath that I am legal ♪ ♪ Oh, I'm gonna sing ♪ ♪ Of the goodness of God ♪ ♪ And all my life you have been faith ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, my life ♪ ♪ And all my life you have been so ♪ ♪ So good ♪ ♪ With every breath that I am able ♪ ♪ Oh, I'm gonna sing ♪ ♪ Of the goodness of God ♪ ♪ Oh, I'm gonna sing ♪ ♪ Of the goodness of God ♪ - Good.

Good night. Hi, everybody, good night. How are you tonight? Buenos noches. It's been such a long time, right? We miss each other so much. I am so excited to be here. And what a beautiful time of worship we just had, right? Why don't we give it up for the worship team? Great job, guys, great job. Well, my name is Marajamas, and I get the honor to lead Calvary Woman in our Español campus. You can have a seat now. - Hello, and my name is Bella Santos. I'm involved in our CI ministry and our worship here at Fort Lauderdale. And I just started college this week. Woo hoo! And we are so excited that we get to welcome you to the gathering. If this is your first time at the gathering, something that we like to say is that this is a place of girls from all generations to gather together, to grow and to go. Tonight is all about friendship, learning how to have a friend and to be a friend. So I want you to look at the girls sitting next to you and say, "Hey, friend!" - Hey, friend!

(crowd cheering) - Ah, yes, let's go! And friendship is something that is so personal to us, right? We long for them, we want them, but it can also be tricky sometimes to navigate in each season of life. But tonight, our heart for you is that when you walk out of here, you know that God is your friend. And also a man, yes. And we also wanna equip you with practical ways to grow in friendship personally. - I have been blessed with so many amazing friendships in my life, but even when surrounded by so many people, I find myself going through seasons where I do feel lonely. But God has been so gracious in the way that he's used my friendships. He places people in my heart to reach out to and brings those girls into my life in the moments that I need them the most. This is such a beautiful reminder that even when you feel lonely, God sees you. He knows exactly what you need at the exact moments. And he lovingly reminds us that even when we feel alone, we never truly are. Tonight, we have so much in store for you ladies. You're going to hear a message, an amazing story, a conversation about how to be a good friend, and have the opportunity to take those next steps.

- Yes, and speaking of next steps, take out your phone, please, for a moment, and text the word woman to 91868, yes, there you go. And you will be sent a link to access all the resources that we have and many next steps for you to take. So now, let's take a moment to pray. Father, God, we come before you, Lord, and we give you things for this night. We ask you, Lord, that you open our hearts and our minds to listen to what you have to say in the topic of friendship, Lord. We know that many women in this place may feel lonely, but we know that we have you. So we pray that we can be transformed by what everybody's gonna speak tonight and leave the room full of your Holy Spirit. We pray these things in Jesus' name, amen. (gentle music) (gentle music) - Good evening, Calvary, women. It is so good to see you. We are here at the gathering, like Moda said, for the first time in like a year. And so it feels extra special to get to be in the room with you tonight. My name is Annie and I get to serve Calvary women here at our church and we're just, we've been praying for you and we're so grateful to get to be here. And I cannot believe that it's already August 21st. Like what happened to the summer?

It still feels like the summer outside. It is so hot, but we are so glad about what God is gonna do this fall. But one of the things I'm going to miss the most about this summer was and is the World Cup. How many of you guys watched the World Cup this summer? Same. It was so fun. Like some of the most fun memories we're going to watch games with my friends and it was so special. Like you saw the world really come together. Like it wasn't just about the really cool sports moments like Kate Verde and their incredible run. It wasn't about like all of the incredible goals that were scored. It was something special because it felt like the world really came together. Like I went to the FIFA fan fest in Miami. Anyone go down there? It was so cool and it was packed. And you saw all these people in the heart of Miami outside of their houses watching a game together. And it felt like for the summer we had a little bit of belonging. And part of the reason why it felt so special is because we are in one of the loneliest times in history. Here are some simple stats that I want to share with you that right now, one in six Americans report feeling isolated or lonely most or all of the time.

Young people today spend nearly 1,000 fewer hours with friends hanging out with friends per year than they did 20 years ago. And 72% of Americans, this one really gets me. 72% of Americans hang out with people they care about. Like these are your friends you like want to hang out with. Two, one or zero times a month. I think about that. I'm like, wow, it is so hard to get hangs with my friends on the calendar. Like that is true of me. And we wonder why we feel so lonely. But you don't have to tell me that we're lonely. You're probably sitting here and you're like, Annie, I know I am lonely. Because loneliness has felt deeply in every single generation. It's the number one thing that we hear from women across the board, whether you're in elementary school, middle school, high school, whatever season of life you're in, we hear, I am so lonely. Maybe for you, you're lonely because you have a really big job and it's lonely at the top. Or maybe you're a stay at home mom and you don't know how to get out and socialize with people anymore. It feels foreign. You just started school this week and maybe you felt like you didn't have anyone to talk to between classes or to sit with at lunch. Maybe you're single and all of your friends are married.

I know I felt that one at times. You're in a new season of empty nesting and your community looks different as your family is in all inside of your house. Or maybe you're experiencing loss and grief of a friend or a medical diagnosis. First of all, I'm so sorry that you are experiencing loneliness. It's so real and it's so painful. But at the same time, you are not alone in feeling lonely. Everyone in this room has experienced the depth of loneliness. And part of why we experienced that loneliness is because we were made for friendship. Like God, when he created the world, he made us and designed us for relationship. And so if there's one thing that you remember tonight, you've probably already heard it and seen it on some signs, is that God wants to be your friend. And he wants to be your friend because that's how he made you. And some of you might, that might be new for you. You've never considered that God could be your friend. Or for some of you, maybe you've been following Jesus for a really long time. And so you kind of forget that friendship with God is something to be experienced. And it's not just, he's not just the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings and the Alpha and the Omega. Yes, he's all of those things,

but he's also your friend. - So it's not your reverent to say. In fact, God has always wanted to be our friends. It's the story of God and us. And so when you look at the inception of the world, when God created the world, He created men, you and me, men, and women in His image. And then it says that He actually walked with Adam and Eve in the garden. And so He has this intimate friendship with them. And then their sin came into the world. And ever since then, it's been this endless pursuit of God trying to tell us that He is our friend. Like throughout the Old Testament, you have Abraham. Abraham is a man where God said, He's mentioned three times in Scripture as being a friend of God. You have Moses, who in Exodus 31, 11, it says, "The Lord would speak to Moses face to face as one speaks to a friend." And outside of these two explicit examples of God's friendship, we have this constant continuum of God desiring to know us and make Himself known to us. Like I love this verse in Hosea. It says, "I want you to show love, not sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings." It's saying that I want friendship with you more than I want your sacrifice. You see David, who's like the perfect epitome of friendship with God.

If you've ever read the Psalms before, there's highs and lows. In one, at the beginning of a Psalm, he'll be like, "God, why have you forsaken me?" And by the end, he's like, "You are the Lord who reigns forever." And we feel like that. I feel like that on a daily basis because we have that friendship and that journey with God. But the most profound expression of that is found in the life of Jesus. Jesus, He was prophesied that He would be a manual, which means God with us. So one of the first introductions that we get to who Jesus is, is that He is God who is with us, fully embodied in human form. And then Jesus, He lives that out. He deeply values friendship. He does life with a group of people called His disciples, and He loves them, He eats with them, and He journeys with them in His time on earth. And this really culminates in this moment in John 15. Let me set the table for you for a moment. This is the last dinner before Jesus' death and resurrection that He has with His good friends. They didn't know this, they had no idea that this was the last dinner, but He did. And here's what He says in John 15. This is just part of what He tells them. He says, "As the Father has loved me,

so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commands and remain in His love. I have told you this so that joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this. Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this to lay down one's life for one's friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends for everything that I have learned from my Father I've made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit, fruit that will last. And so whatever you ask in my name, the Father will give to you. This is my command. Love each other. There's so much we could unpack in these verses and these few verses out of John 15. But being a friend of God in that passage is described as this, is that love is the foundation of this friendship. It says that no greater love than this is one who lays down his life for his friends

and that is what Jesus did for us, his friends. And if you didn't know that, can I just tell you that the Lord loves you so much? Like I want you to really be reminded of that, the Lord loves you deeply. And he expresses that through his friendship. We recognize that joy is the result of friendship with God. You know this life, it's so difficult, it's so hard, it's so painful. But because of the love of God being our friend, joy is possible, joy that may be complete and whole. And I want us to go back to this key verse in John 15. Let me read it for us again. It says, I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I've called you friends. I have made known to you. And this idea of being a servant versus being a friend can feel a little bit competing, Camit. But servants, here's the distinction, is that servants are simply told what to do. Go do this, report back to me later. It's kind of like working for a boss. But friends are actually invited into the thinking and the ways of God. And so Jesus is the ultimate expression of that. Like since he's a human embodiment of God's love for us and who God is in human flesh, he is the ultimate embodiment of everything that God wants to make known for us today.

And he also wants to continue to make himself known in our lives. Like in Jeremiah 33, it promises us that when we call on God that he actually wants to make things known to us that are secret and hidden, like he wants to tell you things about your life and how you live and the way that we approach relationships and friendships. He wants to make those things known for us. But it's so easy to confuse God with just someone that we do something for rather than do something with. I know I've 100% had that experience. And a few years ago, my family moved to California like three years ago this September. And it was really hard for me. Like I'm here by myself, all of my families in California, and I just kept being like, God, what am I supposed to do? So for those first like six months, all I asked the Lord is, what do you want me to do with my life? Like, I'll go anywhere, I'll do anything. Should I go to Africa? Should I like, what should I do? I will literally go anywhere, do anything. Just tell me what to do. And I got like really nothing. But I didn't feel like called to leave. I didn't feel like I was supposed to say. I was just like, I guess I'm supposed to say until he tells me like I'm supposed to go somewhere else.

But then I went to a conference and it was in a room very similar to this. And there was an opportunity for like a guided prayer time. And we're gonna do that actually later on this evening. But in the guided prayer time, there was this invitation to just experience God in a way that I hadn't yet. And it was this invitation to picture God coming, Jesus coming into your world and what does he do? And for me, what I sensed was that God just came and set with me on the couch. That Jesus just came into this room and he set with me on the couch. And we were given this prompt of like, ask God anything because we can say anything to God. And so he comes and he's just sitting on the couch in my mind and I'm given this opportunity to ask God anything. So I'm like, finally I have your attention. What do you want me to do with my life? And the thing that God just responded to me in that moment is I just want you to be with me. Like I just want you to be with me because in all of my questioning of God, what do I do? I was missing out on just being with him. And that's a lot of like what friendship with God is like. It's like sitting on the couch with him and sharing with him what we're experiencing, what we're going through and allowing him

to just respond by his presence of just being with us. That is a lot of what friendship with God is like. And we can get that so confused sometimes when we think that God is just someone that we do something for. Like we love our families, we love our friends, we do our best at work just to honor God. But God is saying I want to be with you in doing that because he's one of the best friends that we will ever have. But one of our apprehensions sometimes I think of experiencing friendship with God is that our human relationships really let us down. Like have you ever had a friend disappoint you? Yes, a resounding yes. We have experienced that deep longing for friendship and it's been missed oftentimes because guess what? We are human but we've had a really painful experiences. If you've ever lost a friend, it's one of the hardest things to do of living life close with someone and then no longer being in that same type of relationship. And I walked through that experience a few years ago and it was one of the most painful things to this day in my life that I experienced. And I went on this journey of just asking God what I should do and really feeling the pain and like talking to my friends and getting counsel and all I could do really is find forgiveness in my heart for this person, knowing that I probably won't be received

or really ever offered back. And so I got to this place where I was like, you know what, I feel good. Like thank you God for giving me freedom and forgiveness because sometimes he asks us to forgive people in our lives someone will ever say, I'm sorry. So I felt good and then I saw this person last year and I was like, you know what? What would someone who is forgiven someone do? I was like, they would go up and say hello. And this person turned their back and walked away. And I was shocked. And it was so like that moment for me was so painful. It's one of like, it's like forever ingrained in my mind. But what happened in that moment is the Lord just, I just sensed in my mind this pop up that the Lord was like, "Hey, people turn their backs on me every single day. "I know what you're going through," which is amazing, which is the friendship of God to me in that moment. But he encouraged me of like, "I will never do that to you." Like God will never turn his back on you. Even though sin has separated us from friendship with God, he has this endless pursuit of trying to destroy that and destroying that, which he did on the cross that we can actually live in that relationship with God. And the type of friend that God is, is that he is loving, and joyful, and good, and kind, and gracious. He's always available. He never puts his phone on Do Not Disturb.

He never goes to sleep, the Bible tells us. He'll never forget about you or your birthday, nothing. Not even death can separate us from the love of God. So sometimes we experience this loneliness though because we look in for our human friendship to fulfill what only God can. Like only God can fulfill each of those qualities that I just shared and the list could go on and on of the type of friend that God is. And so having this understanding of friendship with God is so important because in order to be a great friend to the people in our lives, we have to have a friend in God first. But how do we experience friendship with God? Like you might say, okay, I might be comfortable talking to God or not talking to God or sensing like maybe God speaks to you sometimes or sometimes he doesn't, whatever that looks like. How do we actually experience friendship with God? Because there's a mutual desire for relationship but it's expressed differently. Like for example, Jesus tells us there to like obey. We don't necessarily tell God to obey what we want. You can tell him, I don't think he'll do it. But he, because he knows so much better than we do. But it's this invitation of really experiencing the love of God. Like how do we offer that back to him? There's this quote that I love. It says, what you need to do is to work hard

to convince yourself that the Father loves you. Your job is to convince yourself over and over every day that the Father has set his loving favor on you and that his love comes to you in Christ. If we apply ourselves to that one assignment, then our love for him will follow naturally. So if our job is to simply accept the love of God in our lives, how do we practically do that? Okay, I have three really simple ways to experience friendship with God. The first is to take time. There's a quote by John Mark Comer who's one of my favorite authors and he says, "Hurry and love are incompatible." So meaning that if I come and sit on the couch and I'm like, "Hey God, what are you doing tomorrow?" Like, "Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, bye." Like if I experienced my relationship with God, like that, I actually won't ever have the opportunity to get to know him deeper. We live in one of the most distracted times in history. And Corey Tinboom says, "If the devil cannot make you sin, "he will make you busy." And so time with God, it looks like reading scripture. It looks like prayer, solitude, just spending a long time with him. It looks like walking. That's one of my favorite ways to experience friendship with God is simply going on a walk and quieting my mind and paying attention to creation.

And what's around me being reminded that God is a creator of everything. The second part is to talk all the time. So begin as you spend time with God in dedicated moments. Also, invite him into constant conversation throughout your day. Paul talks about this. It's this invitation to pray continually. You see, the voice of God is described still, and it's small. Like we don't necessarily recognize it. Like I wish that it was super loud and super clear all the time, but it's in the still small voice that we hear and start to discern what God might be trying to communicate to us. And in a great friendship, good conversation is required, and good conversation requires both talking and listening. So it's slowing down enough to actually listen and actually create the space for God to respond. And sometimes it's just as simple as sitting on the couch and allowing him to remind you that he is with you on the porch where she was at in India and they said, "What do you say to God when you're spending these long times with him?" And she said, "Nothing. Not much. I mainly listen." And then they were like, "Okay, well, what does God say to you?" And she said, "Not much. He mainly listens." And it's this idea of just being and being and experiencing friendship with God. And the last is just to trust. It's to trust him enough to bring our honest communication with God. If love is the foundation of this friendship, then there is truly nothing off limits that you can say to him. You can bring everything to God. And trust him enough with your emotions, with what you're walking through, for him to respond and to say something and oftentimes to give a command. So in John 15, his command is awesome. It's love one

another. Like he could say, "I've told you everything that I need to know and I need you to do something really intense and really hard," which honestly loving one another can feel really intense and really hard. But he invites us into the same expression that he's given us to other people. And I just want to encourage you that friendship with God, it's a lifelong journey. So wherever you're at in the room, whether you're new to faith, or you've been following Jesus for a long time, the invitation on the table for you to experience friendship with God is always there. It's always available to you. My nana and my mom are in town from California and I'm not going to say how old you are nana, but you have been following Jesus for a long time. And one of my favorite things about her is that she has walked through extreme highs and extreme lows in life. But to this day, she still desires to learn more about who God is and allow God to know her equally. And that's the goal of life truly, is to glorify God, to make him known and to experience his joy and the friendship of God. And so now we're going to try to put that into practice a little bit. So I'm going to go ahead and invite Susanna and she's going to share more about how we put into practice the friendship of God. Good evening, Calvary ladies. It's good to have you. Annie, thank you so much for an incredible message on friendship with God. So Annie talked about two main ingredients that are needed for friendship with God and really for friendship with anybody and it's time and it's communication, which is speaking, but it's also active listening. And that for me, the active listening part was actually a goal of mine for 2026 because I love the word of God. I love prayer, but I do a lot of the talking when I'm doing prayer. And so my goal this year was like, Lord, help me to quiet myself and just learn to listen. Listen, stay in the stillness and listen. And so it was a couple months into the year and all the pastors wise from all the different campuses, we went on a retreat. And there was an activity when we got there. Maybe you've done this activity before, but there's this big table and there's all these pictures all over the table and you go up and the first one that sticks out to you, you grab it and you go back to your seat and you figure out like, why did this in this season stick out to me? And then you tell the group. And I want to show you a picture of this. This is what I picked, this card. Normally, I wouldn't pick that, but I picked that and I knew right away, I was like, Lord, why do I pick this card and instantly he reminded me, Suzanne, that was your prayer in the beginning of the year that you would be quiet enough to have friendship with me where you would just listen as if I tell you secrets because that's what Annie talked about, God who tells us all things. And it was this beautiful

reminder, so I took that card and I shoved it in my Bible and then the next month and a half to two months got really crazy. Anybody live a crazy sometime season in your for your life? Okay, so when I am trying to pray, which I still went to prayer meeting, I still had my divos, I still read my Bible every month. I loved all of that, but I couldn't seem to quiet my mind. It's just especially after 50 girls. Can I get a witness? Just my brain goes everywhere when I try to close my eyes and pray. So, Lord, just help me, right? So my husband and I went on a summer vacation and one morning woke up super early, it was sunrise, I grabbed my Bible, I went to the end of a dock and I was like, Lord, the morning is yours. I just fill me up. I feel empty. I don't have anybody feels empty. I feel just depleted and I just let your words speak to my life. Let me sit in the quiet, just speak to my heart, fill me up. And I opened up my Bible and it was a different Bible that I had been using for the last two months and outfalls the card. And you know when you laugh and cry almost at the same time, because God is so real that you're like, oh my goodness. He reminded me once again, Suzanne, I've always been here. I'm ready to whisper. and you need to give me just some quiet. And so ladies, we wanna give that opportunity to each of you tonight. And we don't have hours, we don't have a whole morning or night, in a couple of minutes. But some of you in this room might be new to prayer and you're like, Suzanne, I don't even know how to pray. And so what we're gonna do tonight is I'm just gonna give you some prompts and we're just gonna practice friendship with God. What is it like to just pray and sit in the presence of God, speak a little bit and then just quiet ourselves and just listen for the presence of God or sit in the presence of God? It's gonna be on the back screen or on the screens, but if you're like me, sometimes you just need to close your eyes to block out the world

and all the women in this room and just still yourself. This is a prompt, girls, if you're new to prayer, that we'll do here, but it's something that you can take at home as well. So with me, let's start off by just taking a deep breath. You know, there's this beautiful Hebrew word, ruhah. And the word means spirit, but it also means breath because God breathed his spirit into us and gave us life. And so when we take a breath, it's the spirit of God reminding us of his presence. So let's just take one more breath. When close our eyes and pray and Father, we just thank you so much, that you are a God who you say stoops to listen when your kids speak. And so Father, we just pray that we could just block out the world, all the distractions that we came in here with and just be able to sit in your presence, like a dad in the room or like Jesus on the couch with us. Would you just be present with us, we pray in your name. Scripture says that the Lord will never leave you or forsake you. And that he's with you even until the end of the age. God's presence doesn't depend on our belief in him. It's true, whether we know it, feel it or believe it. From the creation of the universe, he has always wanted a relationship with you. Think of a time in your life where you sensed the Lord's closeness. Invite him now to draw close at this moment too. (gentle music)

God is kind and he is trustworthy. He invites you to bring him your real thoughts and true emotions. He can and wants to hold them. Is there anything you've been wanting to say to God, but for some reason you haven't. Maybe it's something that's separating you from God that you need to repent of. Or maybe it's fear or anxiety, anger, busyness or pride. You can say anything to him. Take a moment and offer to the Lord your honest thoughts of something that's on your heart or mind. (gentle music) (gentle music) (gentle music) (gentle music) (gentle music) Jesus says in John 15, 15, I no longer call you servant because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends. For everything that I have learned from my father, I have made known to you. And take a moment now and joy is just sitting in the quiet presence of God. Be open to whatever you might want to say to you. Reverse a word or just the quiet of being together. (gentle music) Thank you, Jesus, for being attentive to our prayer. For being the God who listens, the God who speaks,

and the God who is our closest friend. We pray this in Jesus' name in all every woman said, "Amen, amen." And for some people in this room, maybe you're new here and you've never experienced a friendship with God. And maybe you're just like, "You know, I look around and I see all these women and they seem like they're connecting to a God that I don't really know." Well, Jesus said, "There's no greater love than this than one who lays down his life for his friends." And then Jesus did just that. He hung on a cross and he died for our sins as blood shed for a sacrifice that one day we could then just be with him forever in heaven. And if you've never asked Jesus to come and live inside of you, we want to give you that opportunity tonight. You know, Jesus didn't just die on a cross and give us eternal life, this hope for heaven. He also then, when he rose from the dead, he turns to his best friends. He has the 12 disciples. He turns to his best friends and he says this, "I now need to go. I'm going to go be with the Father so that God can send his Holy Spirit to come live inside of you. I don't know any God who is so close than one who comes to live actually inside of us. It's not just the hope of heaven. I want to be here with you inside of you to be your guide, to be your closest friend, to be your counselor, to be with you on this side of heaven, helping you get to eternity. So if that's you tonight and you go, you know, I've never made that decision to follow Jesus. I want that. I want friendship with God. I want a relationship with God. I want to confess Jesus as my Savior because you know what? I really do believe he died for me.

I believe he died on a cross and he rose again. And I want to just confess my sins and know that if I was to die tonight, I will be saved and I will spend eternity with him. And so we want to give you that opportunity. I'm just going to give you the words of a simple prayer. It will be my words, but you're confession. Confession. I want to do, ladies, I'm just going to ask everybody here in the room to just bow your heads in prayer right now. If you are a Christian and you're a follower of Jesus, I'm just going to ask you to pray right now, pray for everything that's happening in this room. And if I'm speaking to you, you know, the Bible says that even a child can enter the kingdom of heaven. And so whoever you are, whatever age you are, if you're like, you know what? That's me. I want to make that confession. I want to ask Jesus to come live inside of me and be my Lord and my Savior and repent of my sins. I want to raise your hand. I just want to see hands going. I'm going to give you the words to say, "Is there anybody here? I see hands. Is there anybody? Raise them high just so I can pray with you. I see hands all around. Raise them just really high. The Bible says to make a public confession, that that's me, that I want to walk with Jesus Christ. I see hands all around. I'm just going to give you this simple prayer.

Girls, would you just pray after me, dear God? I open my heart and I invite you inside to be my God, to be my Savior and to be my friend. Forgive me of my sins, I repent, wash me clean. I believe Jesus that you died and that you rose again. Now fill me with your Holy Spirit and I will walk with you all the days of my life. I'm yours in Jesus' name I pray, amen, amen, let's give him a hand. This room is not just now your friends, they're also your sisters. God says, "When Jesus comes to live inside you, this becomes a family of God." I just want to say, if that was you and you raised your hand and you prayed that prayer, we want to meet you. I want to personally meet you, not right now, but when this is over and all the girls are going in the after-party, I'm just going to invite you to come forward right here at the base of the platform. I want to personally meet you with all of our prayer counselors. We want to give you a Bible and we want to help you with it. What is the next step now that I just did that? What do I do now? We want to help you with that next step. But for now, I want to just invite you to hear the story of a friend of mine. Her name is Jamie and because of her relationship with God, that helps her make deep relationships with others. Take a look. When I was a Christian, I was seeking, I was unsure, and I was filled with fear. I met this guy at a job I was working at, and she was the epitome of this blonde surfer girl. Like, "Oh, everything's great. Oh, he's smiling. I used to think she did drugs." I was like, "Why?" "So happy all the time."

What I went up to when they said, "Robin, you need to punch out because Michael, who he was our manager, sees that you're stoned and you're going to get fired." She just looked at me, she says, "I don't do drugs." I said, "Well, then why are you so happy?" She said, "Because I'm a Christian." I said, "Oh." And she says, "Would you like to come to Bible study with me?" I'm like, "Yeah, sure. I'll come." Heard the gospel. And one night I was by myself in my room, and I just said, "Prayed to receive the Lord. Like, Lord, please forgive me. I don't know what I'm doing, but I need you to come into my life." I'm at dawn when my daughter was And we just became friends throughout the years. That was many, many years ago, over 30 years ago, that I've known Dawn. She stopped teaching there and I went my way and, but we still kept in touch. I'd see her at church and she always sent me the Christmas cards of her and her family. And then one day almost nine years ago, when the Lord called me to start working with high school ministry. And she was leading a group with Dawna and that's how we met and never looked back. - Once we started serving together in youth, just that rhythm of Saturday nights, day after day, it became special to me just working, serving alongside her and our other friend Dawna.

I couldn't wait to go just because I got to serve with them. - We just started doing life together, that's all. It was just like we served together and then we started going now. We would go out for coffee, for lunch. We had lunch dates all the time and we just like sort of became more than just friends, more like family. - Biblical friendship that I've experienced through Jamie and through Dawna is not being afraid to just be who I am and not being afraid to tell them when I'm having a rough day and I need prayer and I'm at my lowest or I celebrate my joys with them and they do the same for us. - My daughter, she developed Crohn's disease and that changed her life. She was able still to go to college and finish her for years, but like I said, the Crohn's disease took everything out of her and she developed colon cancer. The first year that I lost her, the anniversary, I told them I don't, I just need to be alone. I don't want to talk to anybody. So first thing in the morning, I hear a knock on the door and there they are. Every year, they're there for me. They're not forgotten. They give me a plant.

They gave me this necklace with a R on it, Rachel. That's loyalty. That's friendship. And they have always been there for me and I will always be there for them. God's timing is always perfect. And he knew what I needed when I needed it, when I lost my daughter. I tried to do it alone and I didn't want to talk to anybody. I just, God's got those people there for you to hold you up. I hear and think of the word friend. First off, I think of my relationship with the Lord. He's not only my savior. He's so emotional. He's my friend. What is a friend? A friend loves unconditionally. A friend stands by you. A friend is loyal. A friend calls you out when it needs to be called out. But a friend is committed. That's what a friend is. And that's kind of like what the Lord is. He's everything, faithful. He's good. He's loving. He's kind. He's generous. He's giving.

He's forgiving. That's the epitome of what a friendship is. And we learn from that, from what God has said to us, how our friendship is with God. It just works out into what our friendship with other people should be. The same qualities and characteristics as our friendship with God should be implemented in our friendship with other people. That's what friendship is about. That's what community is all about. You get that. All the nuances when you have a friendship. And it's all based on the Lord. There's nothing better. [APPLAUSE] That was powerful. Hello, my name is Lisa. And this is Shara and Isabel. And we're going to talk amongst each other, amongst you, about some practical aspects of friendship. We really want to talk about what brings us together as friends and what tears us apart. Because we all experience both of those things. We believe there are three key ingredients for healthy friendships. And that's seasons, support, and safety. So let's talk about seasons. When I was my very first friend, I met when I was in the sixth grade.

My parents had decided to put me into a private school. I'd gone to public school all my life. And I wore uniforms for the first time. And of course, we went back to school shopping. So the shoes that we got, because you're wearing a uniform, are very important. So I picked out these shoes. And I wish I could tell you they were the coolest, cutest shoes. But they were these baby blue lace-up shoes with a wedge heel. I don't know why. I chose them. But I walk into sixth grade into my classroom. I sit in the back row. I don't know a soul in the room. and she leans over and says, "Hi, my name's Eileen. "I'm new here." I said, "Me too." And she says, "I like your shoes." And I look down and she has on the exact same pair of shoes. (audience laughing) And we've been friends for 50 years, so... - I'm so good. (audience laughing) - But you know, friendships, we usually form them around seasons, whether it's middle school, like me and my friend Eileen, or it's high school or college. Maybe it's a season of singleness or a season of just getting married. Maybe it's motherhood, maybe it's your career or your work. I mean, and that's a good place to find friends

is in that season of life. I had four children who went to the church school here, and it's a pretty big school, so you would think I could have found lots of friends. But it's not easy in a big place to find friends, right? So I decided I loved theater, and I was going to volunteer in the theater department, and that's where I found my friends. And I found one friend specifically, her name was Leslie, and she and I love to do costumes together. And so for the next 10, 15 years, probably 20 shows combined, we were behind stage doing costumes, doing props. And we had lots of fun doing that. But what really bonded us was our love for the Lord. In Proverbs 27, 17, it says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." But what does that look like in friendship? How do we sharpen each other? For Leslie and I, that meant going to Bible studies together. It meant serving alongside each other in a ministry. It meant reading a new book together. It didn't have to even be Christian. We just would say, "Hey, I heard of a good read. Let's do it." That meant encouraging one another when we had a new idea. Her new idea was to go back to college at age 50, and I said, "Go for it." And she did. My new idea was to write a book,

and I'm still working on that. (audience laughing) But, and we pray together when life gets hard, because life is hard and you need, like we saw on the video, we need friends in those seasons. Several years ago, my husband and I began to look for a house, and we searched and searched, and it's not easy finding a house in South Florida for a normal price range. And, but he found one, and I brought me over there, and I walked in, and I was like, "Oh, no, this is not it." No, no, no. And so, but he was sure, "No, this is a house, this is a house." And so I called Leslie, and I said, "Leslie, "come with me to this house, help me with some ideas, "how can I make it good? "Should I turn, tear a wall down? "Like, what can we do?" And she came over and looked at the house, and she goes, "It's a great house." And then she said, "But what we need to do "is we need to walk the four corners of the property "and pray that God will show you "if this is his will for your life." And that's, I wanted her great decorating ideas, but what I needed was to know this house was God's will for my life. And that's iron sharpening iron. So, we've talked about, and we all agree,

we need friends, right? And where to find them is not always easy. But I thought we would have some fun tonight. So, I'm gonna call out a couple of questions, and if this is you, if this describes you, I want you to put your hand in the air, okay? Ready? I'll give you an easy one first. Who loves coffee? (audience laughs) The whole room. There you go. All right, wait, you got a bunch of these. Let's keep going. Who loves movies? All right. Who plays pickleball? (audience laughs) Who plays mahjong? Oh, I see. There are a few of you out there. Who likes the Miami Dolphins? Oh, God. (audience laughs) We have some faithful few, right? Who loves to read? Who loves travel? Who loves Jesus? (audience cheers) See, we all have friends, right?

They're out there. We just gotta find them. But I want you to remember one thing. Seasons do change. And we've all had friends that have come and gone in our lives, right? We have friends for a season, and things change, people move, it happens. But I want you to remember tonight that friends come in all shapes and sizes. My grandmother was one of my favorite people. I spent a lot of time with her as an adult. She was my friend, my mom, my daughter, my sister, my aunt, my cousin, my niece, family, our friends. Last week, I do track my children on, find my friends and I noticed my daughter, I was at Chick-fil-A and I noticed my daughter and my granddaughter were down the street, so I texted my daughter and said, "Hey, come meet me at Chick-fil-A, "just give me 10 minutes, I wanna see the baby." She's 18 months old, she's accused of saying you can imagine, and so she begrudgingly said, "Okay, I'll stop by, you got 10 minutes, mom." So she comes in, she drops the baby down on the floor and the baby, I'm in the restaurant and the baby sees me across the restaurant and she just starts running for me as fast as she can and she launches herself into my arms and I wrap my arms around her and I think, "Oh, someday we're gonna be best friends."

(audience laughs) But I also would say that sometimes friends become like family. (audience laughs) But I would also say that sometimes friends become like family, we live in a transient place. People are coming and going all the time. I meet a lot of people all the time who don't have family, but sometimes family or friends can become like family. And that's important to remember. I love the story of Jamie and Dawn and Donna and it's the perfect example of friends becoming like family. They made a simple decision to volunteer in a youth group and they had no idea what God had intended for that simple decision to volunteer. I remember years ago at our school, we have small groups and so they asked people who might like to host a small group during lunchtime at school. It's like once a week. So I volunteered to do this. So group of girls, seniors, I didn't know any of them. And as we went through, they would come, we would meet once a week. And as I got to know them, I noticed there was this one girl who just didn't seem to vibe with the group. She didn't really talk much. She didn't seem to be friends with the girls. And so after a couple of months of meeting with them, I just said to her, hey, why don't we have lunch?

Even if it's once a month, let's have lunch. I'd love to know what's going on in your life. So she and I started to eat lunch together once a month for about five months. So five times I had lunch with her. We talked about her struggles. We talked about her identity. She was struggling with her identity. She kind of knew her to the schools so she didn't have a lot of friends. Never felt like she fit in, didn't know where she was going, what was next. And so after meeting with her for five months, she was getting ready to graduate. And I said, you know what, sweetie? Is it okay with you if I call your mom? I would just love to share with her some of the stuff that you're struggling with. And I think I know a good therapist that would be really good for you. And she said, sure, I could call her. So I called her mom, one phone call. Hey, I met with your daughter. Oh yeah, she's told me. I said, there's this really great therapist. I think she'd be really good for her. She said, thank you so much. I was at, never talked to him again. She graduated 10 years later. I run into her and her mom.

And she says, you have no idea the impact that you had on my daughter. I said, really, why? She said, she's become a therapist and now works with teenagers. (audience applauding) But ladies, that was five lunches and one phone call, right? So remember that we need friends in our lives that are in our season, but we can be a friend to others who may not be in our season. They may be older, they may be younger, whatever it is. And I can tell you this, at 62, life goes by very quickly. And one day you'll befriending a teenager. And the next day, she's therapist. One day you're the granddaughter enjoying your grandmother. And the next day you're the grandmother enjoying your granddaughter. 'Cause life goes, at least it feels that way. Life goes by so, so quickly. So don't waste time doing your life alone. Finding your people through seasons, through serving, and doing the things you love is important. Finally, one of my favorite stories in the Bible is when Jesus goes out and finds his disciples. And you know, he really was going out and finding his friends who would do life and ministry with him for the next three years. But I also think what he was doing

was he was finding friends for them to have each other when he left. 'Cause he knew that they would need each other. They would need each other because they were gonna work together. They were gonna serve together. They were gonna change the world together. And if they needed friends, then we need friends for our journey too. So let's make finding a friend a priority, 'cause Jesus did, right? So now, we're gonna transition to, we talked about seasons, now we wanna talk about support. And Sharah, can you just give us some ideas on the best way to find support in friendship? - Thank you, that was so good Lisa. So thank you so much. So now, we've heard, yes. (audience applauds) Love it. So Lisa has shared like how we find friends through similarities and seasons. So how do we show up for the friends that God has now put in our lives? One of the most important ways to do that is through support, right? Galatians six to carry each other's burdens and in that we fulfill the law of Christ. And I love that it doesn't say fix one another's burdens. It says to carry them, right?

To bear them. So think of a support beam in a house. The support beam doesn't make the weight disappear, it actually helps to carry the weight. And that's what support in friendship looks like. It's being willing to come along alongside someone and say, "Hey, I'm here, I got you. "You don't have to carry this alone." - Yeah. - And I think we have an instinct sometimes when a friend is telling us something or going through a difficult time, we want to fix it, right? Actually, some of us need to kind of retire from the position of CFO in our friendships, the Chief Fixing Officer. (audience laughs) Not just a friend or a look at her if she's beside you. (audience laughs) But I think we have this tendency to wanna fix. And sometimes it's friend, think about yourself for a second. If she's telling you a story, right, of some difficulty, some challenges, are you listening actively? Or are you like, "Hey, maybe you should try this. "Have you tried that?" If I were you, right, some of you guys probably have a three-step plan, a phone number, a website, ready to send your friend. And she's like, "Can I finish my story, please?"

So it's not sometimes, it's not so much about fixing. Sometimes the most supportive thing we can do with a friend is ask, say ask. Okay, so what do you need from me right now? Can I pray with you, dealing with a fix it or you just need me to listen or you need advice? Is there something practical I can do? Those are some great questions to ask. And guys, support doesn't have to be something big. It could be that you're at school or you're in college and someone's sitting by themselves. And you go and sit with them. It could be delivering a meal. It could be sending a text message. It could be three days later, you heard something and you're just checking in, "Hey, how you doing with that?" Right, because sometimes the most supportive thing is that when somebody told you something, it mattered. It makes such a difference that it matters. So before we assume what someone needs, let's ask what they need, okay? 'Cause there's something so beautiful about a friend who's just willing to come alongside you and say, "Let me help shoulder this with you. Let me help carry this. I got you." And then on the other side of friendship, not only do we need to learn how to give, but we need to learn how to ask for it. How many of us struggle with that?

I know I do. We need to learn how to ask and receive it. So a few years ago, I ended up spending my birthday alone. So I was sitting there and enjoying all the text messages, a happy birthday and the calls and all the messages, but I had nothing to do. And if y'all, some of you know me, I'm super extroverted, I'm very sociable and I know a lot of people, yes till I'm like, "Shara, how is it that you know so many people yet you're sitting here alone?" And later on when people would ask like what I did and they found out I did nothing, they were like, "But I thought it's you. I thought you would have had plans." And I'm like, "I know. I thought somebody would have made plans." (audience laughs) But it was this assumption, right? I assumed and they assumed, but nobody actually communicated with one another. And when people would ask how that made me felt, I was like, "I'm fine." Y'all, I was not fine. I was not fine. (audience laughs) I truly felt so lonely that day. I really did, even though I know so many people. And eventually I had to recognize something. I never actually communicated my need. I never actually shared with anybody,

the bird that I needed help carrying. So sometimes we don't feel supported because we don't allow ourselves to be supported, right? And sometimes we will say like, "I'm fine when we're not fine." And then we'll wait for someone to notice something. And if that person doesn't notice, She should have known I needed help. She should have known I wanted to hang out for my birthday. But did I tell anyone? Have you told anyone? That's the questions, because sometimes we unintentionally test our friendships by expecting someone to know something that we never communicated. So guys, remember that our friends are not mind readers, OK? So when our friends need support, don't assume ask. And when we need support, don't assume that she'll know. Just tell them, OK? And there is super vulnerability in saying, man, I'm struggling. I need help. I feel lonely. I have no one right now in my life. And guys, that's not weakness. That's just making yourself be known. And that's a beautiful thing. So if we want real friendship, we have to give people access to what's really going on in our lives. But here's something else we do when it comes to assumptions. We somehow assume somebody's availability or schedule based on what we think we know or what we see. Here's what I mean by that.

It's going to sound familiar, because I've heard so many times when somebody wants help with something, moving, going to the airport, to just need somebody to talk to. And I'm like, man, why didn't you call me? Oh, but you're always so busy. Oh, I didn't want to bother you or burn in you. And I'm like, man, I wish you would have just told me or asked. I would have loved to show up for you. I would have loved to support you. So let's be careful not to assume their answer, but let them answer, OK? All right. And also, we have to remember that support is not the same as dependence. So we have to know that our friends are a gift from God, but they are never intended to take the place of God. Our friends can support us, but only God can sustain us. [APPLAUSE] So asking for support does not mean we're making somebody else responsible for us, but we're making and allowing someone to just love us, right? All right, so let's become women and girls who know how to say both, I'm here. How can I support you? And I need you. Will you walk with me through this? And for the record, I started planning my own birthdays after that, or my daughter does it. So that never happened again. But here's something so very essential about everything

that we just talked about. If I'm going to come and tell you, I'm not fine. If I'm going to say I'm struggling and I feel lonely, I'm going to need to trust that I'm going to let you in to everything that's happening in my life. I'm going to need to know it's safe to do that. And that leads us to one of the most essential parts of healthy friendship, so Isabelle. What does trust and safety and friendship look like? Yeah. And before-- yeah, so good, Shara, thank you. Before we talk about what trust and safety looks like, I want to list some ways that we might not experience safety and trust and friendship. I have the privilege of working in youth ministry. And so for the past seven years, I get to chat with teenage girls every single week. And when I started serving in youth, this was something that became super obvious to me, is this is a huge pain point. And I know it's not just a pain point for teenage girls, but girls of all generations. And so I texted a few girls and I said, hey, tell me, what are some of the greatest ways that you've experienced a lack of safety and trust and friendship? And here's what they said. Gossip, comparison and competition. Feeling judged like you can't completely be your authentic self.

Not being able to trust someone with those personal things that we're going to share. Even experiencing insecurities being used against you, maybe like twisted into a joke. Feeling like you're the only one putting the effort in. And girls, we experienced this a lot, the clickiness of friendship, right? And what's the common thread with all of these things? It's trust, right? It's going, can I trust you with all that I am? It's longing for wanting to be fully known and fully loved by our friends and wanting to be able to be our authentic selves, but being like, I don't know if I can do that. And so let's talk about how can we practically build friendships where we can learn how to do this? And the first thing is communication. Something that I see all the time, girls come into my office and they'll tell me something that's going on, like a friendship, whoa, that they're having. And they're telling me, like, this girl did this and said this and all of this stuff. And at the end of the conversation And can you guess 99% of the time what they said? No. And I go, OK, well, quit talking to me. You have a conversation with her. And that's not just a problem with teenage girls, right? We are always more likely to talk about our friends than to our friends when we have something going on.

But Ephesians 4.15 tells us to speak the truth in love. And so how do we do this? We learn to talk to our friends. Not just about them. And something that I tell teenage girls often that they've heard me say is don't write a story in your head about your friend that you haven't actually given them a chance to tell. Because we do this, right? We've run the tape of this is going on and this is going on and this is going on. But we've never actually given them a chance to tell the story. But why is this so difficult? Why is entering into these conversations so difficult? Like just thinking, think about entering into a difficult conversation with a friend. Like that makes me like when I clenched my whole body. I'm like, no, thank you. It's because communication requires vulnerability. And vulnerability is risky and it's difficult. But just because something's difficult doesn't mean it's bad. Sometimes we have to risk saying, hey, that hurt me. Sometimes we have to risk saying, I feel like something's off. Are we OK? If I was wrong, will you forgive me? Say friendships require this honest communication. And communication isn't always just pursuing these difficult conversations. It's also just being a consistent communicator

with your friends, much like what Shar was talking about. It's checking in. It's initiating the conversation, not just waiting for that conversation to come to you. My friends and I will regularly text each other, hey, how are we doing? What are some highs and lows that we're experiencing lately? How can we be praying for each other? What's just something that's been on our mind lately? We need to create space for that regular connection and conversation. So we need to have those conversations. But we also need to learn how to celebrate in friendship. And I think the opposite of celebration is comparison. And I think of that phrase that we all know, that comparison is the thief of all joy. And for me personally, the Lord has taken me on a journey of learning. How do I celebrate my friends when it is just so much easier to compare? So I want to share a quick story with you. So my husband and I recently walked through two and a half years of trying to conceive. And now I'm so grateful for God's perfect timing because now we have two twin foster babies. And I'm due in November with our first biological baby. And so yeah, God's been really good. But I want to tell you what God taught me during that time of trying to conceive and unexplained fertility and all that.

So I'm in my 20s. And so what happens in your 20s? Everybody gets pregnant, right? They get married, they get pregnant. And my friends are having first babies and second babies. And some crazy people are having third babies. And honestly, celebrating can be so hard when someone's receiving the exact thing that you're asking God for. But here's what the Lord taught me in this. That God is calling me to trust him with my story and also trust him with their story. He always brought me back to Psalm 23 that the Lord is my shepherd and I lack nothing. And surely his goodness and mercy will follow me all my days, which includes today, even when I'm waiting and not seemingly getting my prayers answered, even when seasons change right now. He is being good to me. And that's true of you. God is being good to you right now. His goodness to her does not mean he is not being good to you. God can be good to me even when what I'm celebrating in her life is literally what I'm praying for in my life. And for you, maybe it's not pregnancy. Maybe it's she made the team and you didn't. She got into the school that you wanted and you didn't. She got the relationship and you didn't. She gets to wear all the aloe and lululemon sets

and you're like looking on the Amazon dupes. You know, whatever it is, that's me, by the way. I'm still working through that one. (congregation laughing) But whatever it is, I just want to encourage you to trust God with your story and to learn to trust God with her story and to know that God is Lord over both. - Amen, amen, amen. (congregation applauding) - Okay, so we've talked about the value of friendship. We've talked about seasons. We've talked about support and we've talked about safety. So when you came in today, they gave you a postcard. So I want you to pull that out and grab a pen 'cause we want to put some of the things we've talked about. And if you didn't get a postcard, you can do this in your head or on your phone. We just want you to walk out with some practical next steps in your journey on friendships. - They're passing on. - All right, I'm gonna, we're gonna actually read them out loud, but we want you to write it down. So seasons, give 'em a minute. All right, the first question on the page says identify someone who's in a similar season that you'd like to be friends with or grow closer to. This week, make the first move, send a text, set up a time to hang out, grab coffee, go for a walk.

Now we want you to write the name that comes into your head down on this piece of paper. (mysterious music) All right, so now that you've written that friend down, you wanna grab coffee or go for a walk with, when it comes to support, do you have a friend who needs support? Write down how you can practically show up for them over this next month. And do you need to invite a friend to support you? If yes, look for an opportunity to ask. (mysterious music) - Yeah, and when it comes to safety, is there a friend you need to ask, you need to forgive or ask forgiveness of? Write down their name, pray, and ask the Lord, how to approach the conversation. And is there someone you need to thank for being a good friend in your life? Write down their name and let them know how grateful you are for their friendship this week. (mysterious music) - So friends, we've talked about how God is such a good friend to us. And now we've talked about how to practically be a good friend. And so I hope and pray that you leave here expectant, knowing that God cares about these friendships and that he wants to work in and through this. We love being with you guys.

- Thank you. (audience applauds) (mysterious music) - Okay, tonight has been so much fun, hasn't it? We have gone on quite the journey tonight. And we want you to know that we want to journey with you in your friendship both with God and with others. And so we want to let you know that in the hallway afterwards we have all of our campuses represented where we have created space for you to join groups and classes that are starting as early as this week. So this week we have classes that are available for you to get to grow in your faith and grow your friendship with God and your friendship with others. And we want to encourage you to take that step. It's also at the link and the phone number that you texted earlier and on the back of your seat because one thing we've learned tonight is we truly cannot do life alone. And so we want to journey with you in that. And before we go to the after party, we just want to say that if you raised your hand earlier, this is super important, my guys, one more minute. If you raised your hand earlier and you made that decision you said I want to accept Jesus as my friend. If you responded when Suzanne gave that opportunity and you raised your hand, we're going to have the prayer team available up here. And again, we want to invite you to come forward. But if you're also here and you just need prayer,

we want to invite you to come forward. that I want you to do. Is go to the after party and make a new friend. Can you do that? Okay, well, we love you. We're so grateful that you joined us tonight and we can't wait to see you next time. Go have a friend and be a friend. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)