Faith to Forgive | Four Letter Word | Twin Rivers Church

We are in a series called Four-Letter Word. And that phrase itself usually is in reference to some taboo words. Well, that's not what this series is about, but there is a bit of a taboo nature to what we're covering. The four-letter word that I'm talking about is the word obey. And here's the truth, that word rubs against our nature. When we see a command or a directive in Scripture, there's just something in us that doesn't want to obey. But what I'm trying to do is I want you to see it as an invitation, as an opportunity to grow your intimacy with Christ. I want you to see it as a way to grow your character. I want you to see it as a doorway to blessing because Scripture tells us again and again, the more we walk in obedience, the greater we see God's blessing on our life. And so what I've been doing in this series is I've basically been taking some of the places that we struggle the most to obey, and I've been taking them week by week trying to help you take that step in belief that it's going to help you grow your faith. Now today you're going to have to psych yourself up because I'm going to be talking about one of the areas that may be the most difficult to obey commands in Scripture. Today I want to talk to you about how to forgive. Now the concept of forgiveness or the command of forgiveness appears again and again and again throughout Scripture, almost 150 times, and it's varied because it's so through the message of Jesus. We see it in discourses like the Sermon on the Mount.

We see it in direct commands. We see it in inferred commands. We see it between individuals. We see it in some of the most dramatic moments like on the cross. I mean, there is no way for you to take in any measure of Scripture and not come to this reality that we are commanded to forgive. And yet, despite that, most of us struggle. Let me just not even say most of us. All of us struggle to forgive. And it's funny because we don't even have to try hard to be unforgiving. I remember when Sawyer was just five years old, he was in kindergarten, and that was a new experience for Kayla and I. We were in our first school, and I remember he came home one day and got off the bus, and he was upset because a new boy had come to his class, and that new boy was pushing him around and kind of being physical with him. And immediately, Kayla starts consoling Sawyer like he's lost a limb. You know, she's like, her first response is, I'm buying homeschool curriculum. You know, she's getting him out of the circumstance. I was on the other end. My first response was, we're putting him in martial arts classes. You know, for me, it was this idea that like, how early is too early for a set of brass knuckles? Like, I'll never forget it because we both reacted

naturally in an unhealthy way. She wanted to disengage from the relationship. I wanted revenge in the relationship. And I'll never forget it because it was so natural. We didn't have to think about responding that way. We didn't have to like, you know, process it. It's like it came from somewhere deep within to be unforgiving. And that is the problem with unforgiveness is that it is so natural to us. When someone does you wrong immediately, you react naturally and naturally is not what we would see as scripturally. I mean, for some of you, you get loud and boisterous, displaying your anger. For some of you, you build walls and push everyone out. For some of you, you get really quiet and you stew on the resentment. And then for some of you, you talk to everybody except for that person to get a verbal revenge. I mean, the reality is all of us have a natural reaction to being wronged and that reaction is often wrong. And I know that I've done this enough that as you get into a message like this, that in your mind, you are already going, Pastor, if you knew what they had done, you wouldn't be asking me to do this. If you knew how my ex took those years from me, if you knew how that business partner had left me, if you knew how much money they owe me, if you knew like the abuse I endured, if you knew how the things my kids have said to me, if you knew, you wouldn't be asking me to take this step. And let me just say that first and foremost, in no way, shape,

or form would I minimize what you've endured. That's not even what forgiveness is. But I do want to draw you to this idea that there may be some good you don't expect on the other side of forgiveness. We have such a strong reaction to this idea because we've been hurt in such deep ways that often we rationalize, excuse, we do anything we can to figure out how our story doesn't. Meet this command But that's one of the things I love about the Bible is is that the Bible is not some glossy picture of human existence As a matter of fact from the first couple of chapters you will find Relational dysfunction pains abuses some of the most heinous things ever done to an individual and it's just this reminder That there are no stories that are exempt from the commands of the Lord that he has taken into account He has seen his heart is broken But at the same time he knows a better way and that is why he commands us so maybe today would you just make give me the next few minutes to just Open your heart to the possibility that maybe God could bring some good on the other side of being obedient to forgiveness Now the best place that to see this today would be in Acts chapter 16 Acts 16 to give you a little context is not your typical forgiveness passage Because it's not a sermon on forgiveness. It's not a teaching on forgiveness. It's not a discourse. It's forgiveness in real time Paul was an apostle. He wrote most of the New Testament that we read Well in this particular part of Paul's life, he is traveling with a ministry partner named Silas and they're going from city to city planting churches and strengthening believers and one night Paul has a dream that the Lord is Calling him to another city And so he and Silas respond and they arrive in a place called Philippi and when they first get there They meet some believers and it's a great interaction But then one day as they're there Paul notices a young teenage girl who is being trafficked now she's being trafficked because she is actually able to perform dark arts and predict futures and Paul sees that she has owners that are keeping her and profiting from this exploitation. He sees the demonic work He sees the dark arts and a holy

Compassion raises up in Paul and he he prays a prayer that frees this girl from demonic possession and ends this exploitation Well, there's not a celebration in the city In fact, her owners immediately start a riot Claiming that Paul and Silas had done something they didn't the riot ensues the authorities come Paul and Silas are Arrested wrongly and thrown into prison and here's what the Bible says about their experience. It says after they had been severely flogged they were thrown into prison and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully and When he received these orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks Now in this one verse we missed the layers of what Paul and Silas are are Enduring see it's not just the mistreatment of that. They've been lied on It's not just the mistreatment that they've been wrongly arrested that actually the Bible says that this jailer takes it up a level We don't know why some people speculate its racial motivation, but nonetheless He doesn't just guard them. The Bible says he puts him in the inner cell Well, the inner cell was the one that was at the end of the hallway. It was the darkest It was the most isolated. It has the least comfort in it as a matter of fact, the inner cell is more like a dungeon and Just to see how bad it is You should know that the inner cell sets at the end of all the other cells and it's at a slight slope So that all the sewage from all the other cells flows into it In addition to that the Bible says that he's placed in stocks Well, if you study this out what you find is this wasn't necessary or custom It was a set it was a contraption that affixed to the legs that was not really to keep someone from running They're in a cell it was to punish them. It kept their legs extended in a direction that caused their legs to seize So the verse we just read this jailer is not just going through the motions. He's torturing Paul in silence and In this moment you start to recognize that and you start to go Can you imagine enter the moment that Paul and Silas the anger that's burning in their heart? The fear that they feel the anxiety the the questions the confusion I mean after all what's their crime helping some teenage girl freeing someone that pursuing the work of Christ That's their crime and yet here they are being mistreated every reason for resentment is present in this moment and

Yet what's interesting in the the wisdom of God is that he presents it this way Paul's external circumstances are Becoming his internal circumstances You know, I don't think there's a better picture for what unforgiveness looks like than incarceration That in this moment Paul's not just surrounded it by a cell, but there's there's a deep torturing not just to his body But his soul and so is with many people here today. You're free to go wherever you want physically, but not emotionally That you're not held by metal bars. You're held by some mental bars, that every time their name comes up, anger is very present. Every time you consider what they did, it quickly takes you back to the moment that they did it. That for you, the way you live, the way you consider, the way you talk has all been imprisoned by the thing that they did to you. And here's the thing about prison is, is it's not just about what can't get out, it's also about what can't get in. When you live in a sense of unforgiveness, the reality is the peace of God cannot get in, the word of God does not come in, that the voice of God cannot come in, that there is a separation that takes place and that along the way we start to lose the very thing we'd say we value the most. Let me say it this way, one author puts it this way, he says, the only thing harder than forgiveness is the alternative. You know, I'll never forget, I was on an airplane and, you know, airplanes are small anyways and I'm a big guy and I sat down and, you know, my knees were already touching the back of the seat and the lady who was in front of me, she sat down and the minute she sat down, she pushed that button and reclined that thing back as fast as she could. Immediately pressed the little table into my leg and I thought, it was so overt, I thought, oh, well, she obviously, she's a mistake and she'll set up. Well, she didn't. Not only did she not set up, she just kept pushing back as far as she could. And then so I did in this moment what any well-respected pastor would do, I started pressing my knee as fast and as hard as I could into her back.

I wasn't going to let her get comfortable for a minute. You know, I could tell that she was trying to recline to go to sleep, no, not on my watch. I mean, I bounced my leg, pressed my leg, and the whole time my knee's hurting but I'm grinding my teeth to make sure she's not, it's uncomfortable. Well, you know, I couldn't see her fully and so after about 20 minutes, I couldn't take any more and I kind of adjusted my leg where it wasn't pressing anymore. And I looked up there to think, man, this lady's stubborn. She wasn't stubborn, she was asleep. She had no idea what I was doing. She was not bothered by it in any way. She was dreaming about some other existence and I'm back there killing myself trying to kill her. Listen, that is a picture of what many of you are doing. Here you are, you think by holding this, you think by rehearsing this, you think by retelling this, somehow they're being punished, somehow you're holding them. Can I tell you, they don't even know you're doing it. They're off enjoying life, going in a different direction, and you're only hurting yourself. At the end of the day, we have to just ask, we know this, but why don't we do this? Like if you were to sit with someone over coffee, you would probably tell them what I'm telling you, yet you're holding unforgiveness. Why? Well, at the core, you really have to get into the idea that for some of us, we hold on to it because we don't want to feel weak. And if we, you know, kind of have to forgive, it kind of shows that we weren't strong enough to hold them accountable. And for some of us, we're afraid that if we let them do this one time, they'll do it again. For some of us, it's about the fact we're expecting them to come to us and apologize for what they did. And for others, there's this dynamic that, you know, the reality is this has to be justice served.

You know, and then for some of us, we kind of carry it because we have pride and we don't want to admit that it even hurt. As a matter of fact, I would say that's the most overlooked part of the forgiveness processes is that most people can never forgive because they won't even humble themselves to admit they were hurt. Can I tell you this? Listen, you can't deny something and forgive it at the same time. At the end of the day, for many of us, we just have to get to a place where we can even admit that what they did affected us. And I know you're, well, I don't even care. Well, let me just tell you. The fact that you say you don't care shows you care. But let me tell you this. You were wired to care. God created us for community. In the fact that your relationships affect almost every area of your life in a way like you could never believe. So it's not weak, the fact that what they did hurt you. That's just the way you're wired, but you will not find forgiveness if you never admit that it even hurt. I remember years ago hearing a pastor, he was actually the pastor at the time of the world's largest church in South Korea. And he got up and was teaching a discourse on the Lord's Prayer. And he got to the part where it says, and we forgive those who trespass against us. And he noted to everyone there that this part of the prayer is something that he prayed frequently within a day. And everyone kind of looked because this man presented in such peace and he was so respected. But he said, I pray this multiple times every day. And I'll never forget the way he said it. He said, I pray this so, I have to forgive so many people because I hate so many people.

Listen, why would a pastor get up and admit that he hates people? Because this is what you recognize is nothing damages your intimacy with God more. and holding unforgiveness. And Paul in this moment has every reason righteously to hold this anger. Yet he says this, I will not hold unforgiveness because I will not let you separate me from my God. And so forgiveness, listen, it is a command that is meant to keep our relationship with the Lord. As a matter of fact, let me say it this way, what I hope you get more than anything else is this, that forgiveness has much more to do between you and God than it does between you and your offender. And for many of you, you don't realize what you're giving up with God because of what you're holding someone else to. And it's not easy, obedience never is, but the blessing's worth it. And so what I wanna do is I actually wanna show you how Paul walks this out, not how he preaches it out, but in real time, how do you actually escape the prison of unforgiveness? You can see it in verse 25, when it says about midnight, Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God and the other prisoners were listening to them. And suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken.

And at once all the prison doors flew open and everyone's chains came loose. Now notice this, the jailer woke up and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. But Paul shouted, don't harm yourself, we are all here. Listen, in Rome, if you were entrusted with prisoners, you were basically told that if you lose them, you lose your life. If they can't serve their penalty, you will. And so this jailer waking up, knowing something supernatural has taken place, but not fully understanding, he recognizes that he has lost those put in his care. And instead of waiting to be convicted and then tried and executed, he said, I'll just skip all that and go straight to it. And in this moment, it's so subtle, all Paul had to do was keep his mouth shut. He didn't even have to say anything. He could have just been quiet, he could have just hidden, but he recognized and the Bible says he shouts. This is not a shout, this is forgiveness. This is him demonstrating that despite what you have done to me, I am going to release this and extend this to you. So if you really were to boil down the practicals of it, if I were to help you, like how do you do what Paul just did?

Well, to get out of a prison, you need a key. And this is really just two keys to get out of anything unforgiving. And here's the first one, you have to first receive forgiveness. Now, the reason many people have a hard time with the concept of forgiveness is because the truth is they've never received forgiveness, particularly from God. Many people who claim to be Christians still live with this idea that they are earning God's favor, they're earning his forgiveness. Well, here's what happens. When you think you've got to earn God's forgiveness, you're gonna make other people earn your forgiveness. And so you think they have to live up to a certain standard, they have to do a certain thing in order to be forgiven because you don't have a concept of it because you personally haven't received it. What's so powerful about this moment is, is not how Paul forgives, but how he gets to be able to forgive. Let me point it, that I think most people never get to the place where they can forgive because they didn't do the pre-work to forgive. Here's the pre-work. The Bible says before there was ever a moment to forgive, that Paul and Silas were in worship. Worship is not just a time that we sing songs, worship is a spiritual display of two things. The first thing you do when you worship is,

you are declaring God's character, but you are also number two, declaring your gratefulness for what you've received from God's hand. So let me say it this way, you can't worship without remembering what you've received. And in this moment, Paul, we don't know how long has been priming his heart with gratitude for what he has received. That as he's singing these hymns, I can imagine that he's remembering how undeserving he is of this grace that he's received. Because it wasn't that long ago that Paul was cursing followers of Christ, that he himself cursed the name of Jesus, that he organized abuses and arrests of people who were disciples, that Paul, scripture says, held the jackets of those who were stoning followers of Jesus. And as Paul sings, and that grace washes over his life again, he is remembering his own. Forgiveness receiving his own forgiveness and this is not something that Paul struggled with he fully got he was undeserving But yet he completely received his forgiveness. We know this because in Colossians 2 13 He writes then God made you alive with Christ For he forgave. Can you help me with this word all? our sins He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross You know nearly every person listening right now has a credit card

Statistically speaking few of you have a healthy relationship with it the majority of you live with great amount of charges and you just Basically play a count cat and mouse game to where you're trying to stay ahead of the minimum payment I Want you to imagine that if that's you for a second that you sat down at a lunch with someone and they start to talk to you they can tell you're stressed out because Financially pressures are there and so they ask a few questions and you kind of come to the place where you go Yeah, you know, I'm just carrying way too much credit card debt now Let's imagine that they push a little further than maybe is normally polite and they said well, can I see how much? and let's just say you're desperate enough that you log in on your phone and you pull up your credit card and They take a moment and they review the charges and they see you really like uber eats quite a bit And you explain to them that yeah each month. I barely can keep up with the charge. I'm just trying to keep ahead I don't know how I ever get rid of this and out of their compassion for you. They look at you and say, okay Here's what we're gonna do. I Want to pay for all those charges and you know, no, you didn't do that. You didn't charge this that wasn't your you know 3 a.m. You know chili cheeseburger. That wasn't that was mine And they said no really I want to do this and you hand them your phone and they pull out their bank card in the next Few seconds those charges are gone They said I just wanted you to have a fresh start Like could you imagine the joy best lunch ever? Did you know when you chose to follow Jesus that's exactly what happened That the charges though weren't as inconsequential as some over-ordering or Buying too much that they were charges that required death. There was no minimum payment And Christ said I will pay those charges completely and fully through the work on the cross They are nailed to the work of the cross and completely covered Now here's the thing some of you even in that you say I just don't know pastor I mean with all I've done and all I did can we just say this? Because you weren't at the cross and Jesus was we're gonna take his word on this

At the end of the day, this isn't really about are you forgiven? It's about the fact you don't feel forgiven So, how do you feel forgiven? How do you receive? This reality that Christ has provided. Well, here's my tip Start living as though it's true Start talking like you're a forgiven person start worshiping like you're a forgiven person Start relating to other people like you have received a grace You did not deserve and the more you act like it the more it'll become a reality to who you actually are But listen to me Most people never get to the place where they can forgive because they start at what the other person did Forgiveness doesn't start at what the other person did it starts at what Christ has done for you And as you recognize his work in your life you replenish your ability to forgive another person Now here's the second key. There's only two is This you freely give what you have received See forgiveness is not natural. It's divine. In fact, I would say outside of a relationship with Christ. No person can forgive So what happens is is not natural. It's supernatural It's when you receive it That you now have the capacity to give it the moment you chose to follow Christ You received the a divine ability to extend forgiveness to other people and and with that that's why Matthew 10 8 says freely give what you've received It's this idea that when you received Christ you were given the capacity to do this now, it's not easy It's not some of your feelings want to it doesn't come from an emotional place or a middle boy It comes from a deep spiritual Well that has been deposited in you that you have to reach into a place of faith Now, let me let me say that a lot of times what we get caught up on is what forgiveness is and isn't we get? In the details and lose the overall so let me just say this forgiveness is not minimizing what they did Forgiveness is not saying. Oh, well, you didn't mean to do it. But the fact is it still hurt me Forgiveness is not restoring trust. It's not going back into a partnership. It's not going back into a marriage It's a it's not reestablishing any kind of connection. It's not even regularly communicating with the person again Forgiveness is none of those things biblically. This is what you've got to center on. Here's your definition for forgiveness Biblically, it's a decision

to Release a person from the penalty they deserved because Christ released you from the penalty you deserved. Biblical forgiveness is to release a person for the penalty they deserve. So actually forgiveness acknowledges they're wrong, not minimizes it, but it's a decision to release them from what they should do because you have been released from Christ. Now, let me just say practically, there's a couple steps that I personally practice that I would offer you. And so how do you actually forgive someone? Well, here's the first thing you're gonna practically do. You have to erase any conditions. Now, by what I mean in the Greek, when the word forgiven is used in the New Testament, it refers to this idea of let go or to release, okay? So what it's not is when they do this, I'll forgive. That's not forgiveness, that's negotiation. If you require something of them for you to forgive, you are not forgiving them. You are negotiating with them. And negotiation is not what you were given. Jesus did not lay down on the cross, take two of the three nails and then say, now I'm not taking this third one until you get it right. The Bible says for while we were yet sinners, he died for us. That he took the full punishment and erased the charges

with the reality that many of us would never even receive or want his forgiveness. And so it's erasing the conditions. They don't have to come and apologize. They don't have to come and make it right. They don't have to pay back the money. They don't have to admit that they were wrong. It's erasing the conditions. Now, let me say this, that some of you have been hurt in a very, very, very serious way. And over the years, what I've discovered is, is that in these moments, you can hear me almost minimizing or not understanding. So I'm just, I'm not saying that. Some of you have went through unspeakable things. Things that I couldn't believe. Things that even in myself, I might look at you and go, listen, if you don't want to forgive, I kind of get it. But the problem is you're not trying to live to my standard. You're trying to live to Christ. So here's the good news. Here's the good news. Despite what you've been through, you will never have to forgive a person more than you've been forgiven. There will never be an imbalance from which this place, you will never have to, no matter what they did, you will never have to forgive them more than you've been forgiven by Christ.

Because though you had a relationship with them that exchanged good and bad, the reality is, is that Christ only has given you good. And the Bible says we've lived in open rebellion to him. And so we erase the conditions. Now here's the second one. Second one is this. We pray for their wellbeing. Impossible. That's what just came to your mind. And some of you are like, well, you know, I have been praying for them that they'd get hemorrhoids. And I'd say, well, at least you're praying for them. We're heading in the right direction, you know? And listen, there's nothing wrong with that. Let me say this. This week in Psalm three, I read where David said, God, break the teeth of my enemy. Sometimes you just start there, but at least you're bringing the situation to the Lord. That's going to be like your memory verse this week. Like what's on your phone? Break the teeth of my enemy, you know? Listen, listen, you have to start somewhere, but the Bible does not say, forgive those who've cursed you. It says, bless those who've cursed you. And I'm going to explain why. There's this process that happens as you pray for them, their wellbeing.

And I realize you've got to start somewhere. So sometimes you can't even muster good for them. And I get that. So some of your prayers are going to be, God, this week, give them oxygen. Like that's as much goodwill as you have. But what I'm saying is we keep in obedience and here's why. Because as we pray for them, something is happening you didn't expect. And there's a heart transplant that takes place. That God takes your heart of anger, pain out, and puts in his heart. That is actually the prayer has nothing to do with them. It's not even about changing them. It's about changing you. Because I know this can be tough to swallow, but the person you hate, God loves. The person you hate, God died for. And at some point, if we want to be close to him, we have to possess his heart. And prayer is what works the anger, the fear, the pain out of our hearts because we received the heart of the Lord. And then here's the last thing you're gonna have to do is make it a daily decision, repeated decision again and again. Forgiveness is never a feeling. You will never feel like doing this. You're not gonna give it 10 years, 20 years, 30 years. You will never feel like doing this,

but you make the decision, you make the decision to do it. As a matter of fact, I would say this, that if you're here today and you kind of are just feeling a little bit off with somebody, make the decision today to forgive them because here's what I found, that the earlier you get the offense, the easier it is to get it out of your heart. But the more time you give it in your heart, the tougher it is to pull it out of your heart. So quickly make the decision today. But here's the thing, it is a decision. It's you looking in the mirror and deciding, despite the anger, despite the fear, despite the history, despite all the knowledge you know, it is you, it's a step of faith. Let me say it this way, I've got you a phrase. When you look in the mirror and you decide tomorrow to follow through with this and your anger says no and fear says no way and everything about you logically says we're not doing this, here's what you do. You look at yourself in the mirror and you say obey anyways. Obey anyway, obey anyway. Obey despite what they've said. Obey despite what they just sent me. Obey that the fact that they're still losing their mind. Obey the fact that I just found out war that they've done. Obey the fact that it's not even a matter because they're dead and gone and it's just me. Obey anyways because in that moment,

here's what you're doing, you're saying mind and emotions, that's not what we're walking by. In this moment, forgiveness is by faith. Any step of faith is this, it's saying God, this don't look right but I trust you more than I feel. And in this moment as you obey anyways, here's what you find, you're gonna be surprised that God's on the other side of that obedience. With more than you expect, peace is gonna start to take residence in your heart again. Faith's gonna start to build like there's gonna be an intimacy and then there's going to be what I like to call almost like the mystery box. Which is God is going to do something you did not expect with your obedience. Let me show you what I mean in Paul's life. Acts 16 29, the jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they replied, believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved and you and your household. Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in this house and at the hour of the night, the jailer took them and washed their wounds. Then immediately he and his household were baptized. The jailer brought them to his home, set a meal before them, was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God.

He and his whole household. Listen, I think Paul probably knew enough to go, this is how I keep the peace of God. This is how I keep intimacy with God. I do not believe Paul thought if I forgive him, he's going to convert, make me dinner and become part of the church planting team. There's just this reality of like Paul on the other side of disobedience is like, wow, God, I never expected you to do that. And why is Paul there anyways? Remember he was sent to plant churches. So God says, Paul, you know who the best to use to plant churches? The people who imprisoned you. The Bible tells us that this became the church planting team. They were baptized, some of the first converts, some of the first baptisms in Philippi and then Paul leaves eventually and then he writes back to the leaders, most likely these individuals, writes back to those leaders to give them instruction. What we know today is the New Testament book of Philippians. Philippians contains some of your favorite verses, like the peace of God shall pass all heart and understanding or the idea of I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. You're literally still benefiting from the miracle that just took place in Acts 16. I don't think Paul probably thought

that was going to work out that way. And what I'm saying to you, can you imagine what God has on the other side of your obedience? On a recent trip to Minneapolis, I learned about a lady whose name is Mary Johnson. Years ago, Mary's son, CJ, was tragically killed in an act of gang violence by another teenager. The teenager that killed him's name was O'Shea Israel. He was 16 years old when he took CJ's life. Mary's world came undone. The trial caught the community and during the trial, Mary said that she wanted CJ, or she wanted O'Shea to be tried as an adult because he was an animal and deserved to spend the rest of his life in a cage. Mary assumed that at his conviction and his sentencing of 25 years as an adult, that the anger that she had would somehow be relieved. But it wasn't for years She felt a burning anger in the fact of what O'Shea had done This was a problem because Mary was a follower of Jesus and she said so what became is not only to have anger towards him But there was a warring in me. How am I a follower of Jesus, but I have this hate for this individual And she said after years of bringing it to the Lord in prayer one day the Lord prompted her to do the unthinkable He prompted her to go to the prison and visit her son's killer so she went to the Stillwater State Penitentiary and she got behind the glass and In came O'Shea and she said in this moment. It was totally unexpected She said I didn't see my son's killer. I saw one of my son's friends because they were roughly the same age

She said I felt no hate. I Felt heartbroken for him O'Shea sat down and he said he braced himself to hear this mother's wrath and the first words out of her mouth She said I I don't even know that I'd planned in any way to say this. She said I forgive you O'Shea said for the first time since that tragic moment. He felt like a human being again They ended this moment with the desire to have another moment So she began to Mary began to visit O'Shea and then they became more regular and they built a relationship But the strangest display anyone had ever seen Eventually, he served 17 of his 25 years and was going to be paroled and the first person to meet him when he exited the penitentiary Was the mother of the boy that he had killed all those years ago Not only did she meet him, but she helped him get a job at a recycling plant And then it came to housing and she suggested that he move in to her apartment building and they actually live as Neighbors side-by-side Now out of that came their story was such a powerful story that they began to get opportunities to speak together at Rehabs and prisons and and classrooms and they've went all around the world talking about the power of forgiveness My favorite part of Mary's testimony in it though is this she said I didn't go there out of compassion She said I went there out of obedience And she said I found the peace. I was looking for but she said I did not expect To find a purpose out of the most painful moment of my life. I Don't know We we can't conceive what God has on the other side of your obedience to forgive But I can't say this You'll never discover it if you don't take that step So listen to me, this is gonna be the hardest thing. I'm gonna say to you today Forgiveness is much more about you and God than it is about you and your offender And here's what I mean by that Forgiveness causes you to look at yourself and ask do I really trust God? Do I trust that he could take this and turn it for good? Do I trust that his commands are better than my emotions?

Do I trust that there is peace that he will deliver on the other side of this? Forgiveness is not really about you and your offender. It's about you and your God and do you believe and Do you trust that his commands will bring life?