Domingo's Testimony

of a dysfunctional family. You see, I struggle with people pleasing and the fear of not being liked by people and my name is Domingo. I was born in Santa Ana, California or San Ana, California. My mom had me at the age of 16, if teen mom existed in the 80s, you would have seen us on TV. Every Sunday, we would go to church. It was a routine. We would stand up, sit down, kneel, pray, repeat. You guys probably know that order. Then we would go eat breakfast and afterwards head off to the swap meet. That was our family tradition until the age of 12. Around that time, my parents were getting divorced. Even though I had an abusive father, it hurt me, you guys. I knew we'd be safer without him, but part of me still longed for that love from a father. My dad just treated me different than my two younger sisters. He had time for them. He showed him affection, but me, I was the odd one out. I felt rejected, unworthy. My dad would just become a different person once he started drinking. This period of my life is how I experienced trauma. I would cry out to God at a young age. I wanted God to teach my dad a lesson for beating my mom and me, but that never happened. After the divorce, my uncle stepped in as a father figure. He invited me to the harvest crusade. I got to go to Angel Stadium. I was surrounded by 25,000 people. I felt the spirit. I felt something powerful, and I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior that night. I felt brand new, you guys, but learning how to read the Bible King James Version was

hard. I struggled with reading and writing. Hooked on phonics didn't work for me, and neither did the dare program. The hope that I had didn't last. I entered the seventh grade. I would carry my Bible to school every day. I was proud of my faith. My favorite teacher, who was a history teacher, wasn't a believer. He wanted a report. He wanted to hear how humans came from monkeys. I turned into a report, "How we came from God." My teacher took the report, and he read it out loud, and he mocked it. The whole class laughed at me. They started pointing at me, looking at me. From that moment, I was bullied every day physically and emotionally. I had no friends. I would eat lunch every day by myself. I was never picked for sports. I cried every day after school. Why is God letting this happen to me? Where are you, God? That summer was one of the loneliest ones I had. I had no one to watch wrestling with. I had no one to play video games. So in eighth grade, I said, "You know what? I'm not going to talk about God anymore. I'm going to try something different." I discovered girls. I discovered drugs. I discovered if I make other people laugh, they're going to like me.

If I pick on myself, they won't pick on me. I realized that I was starting to chase for that approval. I used to love riding on walls. I used to love hanging out with gangs. I partied. I passed out flyers for house parties and hung out with the party crew. On the outside, yeah, I might have looked popular, but on the inside, I was falling apart. The drugs that didn't help me forget the pain. I just struggled. So on my 18th birthday, I thought I had experience it all. My dad took me out fishing. I thought it was going to be a scene out of the Andy Griffin Show. I've never been fishing. I thought we were going to bond, but my dad dropped the family secret on my 18th birthday. Turns out that when he came to this country from Mexico, he already had another family Mexico. That's why he treated me different. He was supporting his other family the whole time. I felt like my entire existence was a mistake. That crushed me. Why dump this on my 18th birthday? Why cleanse your soul? What did I do to deserve this? But I learned to stuff it and move on with my life. After high school, I had an opportunity to turn to attend college. But I turned that scholarship down because I just wanted to make money. Growing up poor, having government cheese and powder milk, I wanted something different.

In 2002, I moved to Phoenix, Arizona to get away from trouble. But within two weeks, I got a job at a pizza place. And guess what? I met friends who reminded me from my friends from back home. We started partying, we started using. Next year, no, after being a month out there, I moved out. And I moved in with my friends. In 2003, I had my first daughter. Her name was Natalie. I told myself, I'm going to change. I have a kid now. I need to be that dad I didn't have growing up. I got a job at a retail company. And things were stable for a couple of weeks. I found new coworkers, because I'm shy, you guys. New people to party with and use with. Drugs came back to me just like they never left. In 2006, I was arrested for drug position. I was scared. I cried out to God. I said, help me God, and God was so loving he did. Six days later, my son was born. I had to do community service, but no jail time. You would think this was going to be my wake up call, but nope. That same year, I'm the guy that broke up with my ex girlfriend, the mother of my kids. We fought too much. It just reminded me of how I felt when I was a kid. I don't want my two older kids growing up in that chaos.

So the following year, I know how that sounds. I got married with my ex girlfriend from California. And my two oldest kids were part of that wedding. Now we became a blended family. 2008, we had a daughter. We named her Cassandra. Then in 2009, we found out we were having a boy. We already had named them Isaac Isaiah. You see, my pattern was grow, boy, grow. But during my wife's eight and a half month doctor visit, we heard the heartbeat on Monday and on Friday, there was no heartbeat. They said Isaac was still born. So losing Isaac crushed me, you guys. I didn't understand why God would allow this to happen. I had already buried so much pain. And now this, finding their church to perform a ceremony for a stillborn was a challenge. They hurt me. They said that my kid wasn't real. He wasn't born. But I had goals. I had dreams for Isaac. We buried him and eventually found someone willing to perform the ceremony. But that scar left was just on my soul along with the baby furniture and the baby clothes as a reminder that Isaac was real. In 2011, we had another daughter, Valerina. I told myself, that's it. No more kids are getting too expensive. Yeah. But my parties were all completely upside down.

Drugs, work, parties. Leftovers went to the family. God wasn't part of that list. But I would tell myself, you guys, I have everything under control. I'm not like those junkies on the streets. I have a house. I have a wife. I have a kid. I have a job. I had worked for the same retail company for over 11 years. I was promoted six different times. I was at my fourth location. I managed over 100 employees. I was a second in command, but I felt like a prisoner behind closed doors. I couldn't sleep. My mind would race. I couldn't say no to people pleasing. It was so hard that I was willing to compromise myself for others approval. 100 and 8 employees. That's my rock bottom. I was accused of a crime I didn't commit, but when you're in jail, who's going to believe you? I was broken, I wanted to die, now I was placed on suicide watch. I kept telling everybody what was happening, nobody would believe me. I needed help. I turned to my mom. Where you at, mom? She's here. I see her. She's over there.

My mom's always been one of the few people that's never given up on me. She told me about this life-changing ministry called Celebrate Recovery. That's not for me, I said. I know, I know. My mom reached out to her ministry leader, they didn't give up. A complete stranger sent me the life-recovery Bible, your first step to celebrate recovery, and the daily devotional. I was blown away. I promised my mom I'll attend just one meeting. That was the people pleaser in me. So the people pleaser in my mom, she called four different CRs through the group locator. And please, you guys, answer the phone if you're listed on the group locator. Because out of the four CRs, only one answered. Imagine how my life would have been if nobody answered. On July 11, 2014, I walked into my first celebrate recovery meeting at Camelback Community Church. I was terrified, but people welcomed me with open arms, high fives, smiling, they shook my hand. They made me feel like I mattered. They made me feel like I was being seen. Me being real with you, I'm like what kind of drugs are they on? How are they so happy and just cheering and clapping? But I wanted what they had. That night, I said very little. My name is Domingo and I'm just here. But when I got home, I started talking to God like I used to when I was a kid. I came back the next week. I came back the following week. I started to feel safe. I started to learn the 12 steps and the 8 principles. Step 4 is my favorite.

I know how that sounds, taking a moral inventory. Everybody told me how bad it was going to be and it wrecked me, but nobody would tell me how much freedom I was going to find and how much. That's where I found my calling and purpose because I started to list everything down. Yes, I'm the guy that's got the problem. Yes, I'm the guy that's a drug addict. I used my pain to mask what I was going through, my guilt over my parents' divorce, the loss of my son, my anger. I broke down in prayer. I asked God to please heal me. God, take these cravings away. God forgive me. I started crying. I started sobbing like I haven't, I've never done that before. And it's like I fell asleep in the father's arms. The next day, I felt like Neil waking up in the matrix, but instead, I was experiencing Jesus, John 832, then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. My mom told me about this conference, this summit going on in California, and she told me she wanted me to go. I said, I can't afford this. I was just three weeks in to recovery, you guys. So my mom's ML bought my ticket. My mom paid for the rental, people please are again, I got no excuses. So I came to the summit. I met Pastor Johnny Baker, Mac Owen, and Pastor John Baker. I got to share my story with them, Pastor Johnny remembered my name the next time. And I thought that was so cool. I'm sorry, global. During the summit, I got baptized. Pastor Johnny Baker remembered me.

He remembered my name. When he baptized me, I came up out of the water just crying. I held him in a big old bear hug. Next thing you know, I heard security say, can we keep it moving, please? [LAUGHTER] 60 other people were getting baptized that day. That same day, I got baptized. I reached out, and I got to meet my mom's ML. And I asked her, why did you do so much for me? A complete stranger, and my mom's ML said that the day I got baptized was the one year anniversary of her losing her son. And she said, by helping me help her heal, and helping my mom was helping her with her grief, we became a triangle that day. That moment bonded us. She's my spiritual mom. I love that lady. I called my dad on the way home. I said, dad, I'm just leaving the summit, and I'm sorry for being a bad son. And he said, you know what? I'm sorry for being a bad father. We cried together. God was restoring what was broken. And I still hope to have a special bond with him. I still hope to go fishing with him one day, but I'm at peace with that man. When I returned home from the summit, if you hurt me, I would have reached out to you.

If I hurt you, I would have reached out to you, too. The biggest thing that I learned is how to forgive myself. Philippians 4.13, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Now I live differently. I haven't done drugs in over 11 years. [APPLAUSE] Life is better without cocaine. I spend time with my kids. We go to CR on Fridays. We attend church on Sundays. My wife and I, we no longer fight over the petty things. We've learned-- we're learning to love each other every single day at a different level. God, He blessed me with a new job. Monday through Friday, 8 to 5, for the first time, I got that work-life balance. I like to sleep at night. Exactly. I trust God with everything. I've learned that if Jesus Christ wasn't liked by everyone, Jesus was picked on way before and mocked before I was. So why do I care if people like me? John 15, 18, if the world hates you, remember that it hated me first. Now you'll always see me rocking the CR brand, and I'm proud to rock it. Isaiah 6, 8, then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, who should I send? And I said, here I am.

Send me, Lord. [APPLAUSE] Ever since I started my recovery journey, God has just done so much, you guys. You see, my criminal charges were dismissed without prejudice. [APPLAUSE] That's God. My wife got pregnant, and we had a son, Lauren Jeremiah, after my sponsor, Jeremiah. Where you at, bro? He's right there. [APPLAUSE] I became the training coach at Camelback, and eventually I got the coolest volunteer role. I became a CR rep in Phoenix. Yeah. [APPLAUSE] I met some cool hope dealers along the way, and I started to learn how to ride a motorcycle. [APPLAUSE] I love to spread hope. I love to just be in different communities, schools, prisons, because I want to break that stigma. I want to break that stigma tradition, and I want to point everybody back to recovery and Jesus. [APPLAUSE] Father in heaven." One of the coolest things that I've learned in recovery is that God doesn't waste a single hurt. Even the worst moments of my life, things that I never wanted anyone to know, became the most powerful tools when I surrendered it to God. Every time I share my story, I realize that God is using my

pain to unlock somebody else's prison. I no longer live in shame about my past. I live in gratitude that I get to serve a God who restores, redeems, and rebuilds that's revival. Jesus Christ and the tools found in celebrate recovery didn't just change me, it changed my entire family. Now we're going to heaven because my kids have their own relationship with Jesus Christ. My kids saw the transformation in me, they began to trust me again, I used to be the dad that was physically present but emotionally absent. Now my kids talk to me about their lives, their fears, and their faith. And when they say we're proud of you dad, it brings me to tears because that kind of restoration isn't found in drugs, a paychecks, or a party. It's found through Jesus Christ. Come on! My wife has supported me every step of the way, she was with me during my worst time. Now my wife serves at church, she's one of the leaders, she found her calling and purpose with Jesus Christ too. We used to fight a lot, now we talk, we laugh, we enjoy the small stuff, lunch dates, trips to Home Depot, Costco, Ikea, yep. That's a huge win for us. Being a CR rep and a CR leader has allowed me to walk with others throughout their pain. I've helped launch many new groups, I've trained leaders, I visited prisons, and shared my testimony with men who felt forgotten. I remind them that God doesn't forget us. He never left me when I was in a jail cell and he's not leaving them either. Romans 8.28 says, "Then we know that all things God works for the good of those who love them, who have been called according to his purpose. That verse came alive to me because I've been called, I was broken, but God has a purpose for me. When COVID hit, I thought I was going to lose everything, but God used it to stretch me. I was in a car accident, somebody hit me. I suffered a concussion, three months worth of headaches, lots of brain scans, but I still pressed on. I still leaned into recovery and leaned to God and then God was like, "You need a new hobby." I started creating graphics at that time. Soon afterwards, I got invited to join the Celebrate Recovery Social Media team. Something I didn't think was possible for me. You see the same hands that once passed out party flyers to legal parties are now used to

design tools to share Jesus' love. Fast forward, but wait, there's more. Now I get to be the social media director for Celebrate Recovery. That's God. I love to sponsor others who are just getting started in recovery. I tell them the truth. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Facts. Freedom is found on the other side of surrender and Celebrate Recovery is a safe place to find both. Every time I see a newcomer who walks in through the door with fear and their eyes and shame in their hearts, I remember my first day and I make it my point to welcome them with the same warmth that was given to me. I now distribute Narcan to everybody I come across. Get this. I'm part of the local harm reduction team with the Arizona Department of Public Health. I'm also part of the governor's office of youth, faith, and family. I represent recovery. CR. My mom's a ministry leader now. We pray, we encourage each other. I'm no longer that practical son. I'm a man walking with the purpose side by side with his family. The reason that I say CR is my brand and the reason why I wear it proudly is because I know what it represents. It's not just a program, it's a lifeline, it's a community, it's a family. You find healing, you find Jesus. To anybody wondering if Celebrate Recovery can work for you, let me be that living proof that it can. If God can use someone like me, a broken addict, people pleasing, lost so to now help lead others to freedom, he can do the same for you. You're not too far gone, you're not too broken, you are exactly where God can use you. I came to the summit being in recovery for less than 30 days, and I haven't stopped chasing Jesus since then. Now I'm the ministry leader and the recovery pastor at my church. Change is possible because it happened to me. Thank you guys for letting me share. My name is Domingo and I love you guys. (audience cheering)