Dating

We are going to continue our sermon series as you can see behind me this week with, well, the sermon series is called Heart Work, but this week we're going to be talking about dating. Come on somebody. All right. All right. All right. A few people in the crowd are like, yes, please. If you're, maybe you're married in here and you're like, oh no, I chose the wrong Sunday to come to church. No, you came the right Sunday. Let me just tell you that. Maybe you're in here and you're single, not ready to mingle, or maybe you are ready to mingle. I don't know. Whatever season you find yourself in, we believe that the message is going to be helpful for you today. And we also want to welcome all those who are watching online, whether it's happening right now in our live stream or later on YouTube. Come on, can we welcome all those who are watching with us online? We're so glad that you guys are here with us. And you know, this is such a comprehensive topic that we wanted to have a panel of people to discuss this with this morning. Because whether you're single, whether you're single again, whether you're married, we're all, you know, we can learn to love a little bit better. Who knows? Valentine's was yesterday. Maybe if you didn't know that and you're in the doghouse, you didn't even know it. But Valentine's was yesterday. We kind of got love on the mind and that's really what we want to talk about today.

And I want to introduce our panel to you. So Pastor Avery, why don't you start, maybe introduce yourself, tell us a little bit about yourself. Yes, it's an honor to be here. I've been a pastor here at Celebration for 10 years and it's an honor to be a part of this house. And also I've been married for 10 years as well and we dated for three years. So I've been with her 13 years. You know, that's one third of my life, you know what I'm saying? Let's go. It's my boo. Okay. You're 39? No, no, no, no, no. I'm 33. Oh, okay. So I tried to round it up. Okay, that's fine. Yeah, I tried to. I'm like, I did not know that. Yeah. Anybody else like you immediately do the math? Yeah. Okay. All right. Sorry. Go ahead, Avery. You're good. And so, yes, in that 10 years, you know, navigating dating from middle schoolers, high schoolers, and college age students, and even older couples throughout different seasons, man, it's been

an honor to be a part of those. I hope I have something that is helpful today. Absolutely. I say that Avery's like the wedding guru. Everybody goes to Avery to do their wedding. Like, raise your hand if Avery did your wedding in here. There's like at least literally probably like 10 people that have raised their hands, and that's because it's just he's the man. Him and Zee walked through this season of life with so many people, and they're so trusted, and we love them. Next, we have Mrs. DJ. Go ahead. Yes. Hi, everyone. I'm Dawana Jadlow, or DJ, and my husband, Mike, and I have been in the church. Actually, I was just, I was doing some math while you were trying to do math. We've been in the church for like 23 years next month, and we've been married 32 years, more than half my life, so throwing that out there for sure, and Mike and I, we love serving at church. We have done parenting classes, financial peace classes, but we truly love like the engaged couples, young marrieds. We love being married, so we love serving in the house, and we also have three children who are still all in their 20s, just for a little bit longer. Fantastic. Jake's going to be 30 this year, so that's going to throw him in front of a 30-year-old. Yeah, so anyhow. Wow. Well, we're so grateful to have you up here. Mike and DJ have walked through this season of dating with so many people, and they're just a couple that we really look up to as a church, and we're so glad to have you up

here today, and then we have on the end, I'll let you introduce yourself. Yeah. My name is Roman. I'm the college and young adults pastor here at Celebration Church, and I just absolutely love being at this church. I'm married to the beautiful. I'm just kidding. I'm single. There's nobody in that seat. Nobody's there. Yeah. Yeah. Amen. That's your passive-aggressive way of telling us all that you're ready for a wife, huh? Yeah. No, it's not. No. Hold on. Hold on. Time out. Roman, you're single. You're single. Would you please look at the camera right there, hold on, so we can get a good look at you? Come on. Look at the camera. That way, it doesn't get less embarrassing. We need a good look at you, and then also, we have something that we want to put up on the screen. Hey. I'm telling you.

Lord Jesus. Guys, we did not do this the first service. It was an idea that I had in between the first and the second service. My man's DMs are— Are popular someone came up to me. They're like you're a loser for having that up there like it was my choice I'm gonna just tell everybody a woman dm'd a man and said you trying to go to Chili's That's crazy, that's a crazy deal Sorry, if that's if you were one of the women that are in his dm's right now, that's great I don't think he's gotten to all of his messages, but there's always room for more. Okay Especially if you're a Great attractive awesome. Very cool person. I'm sure right fantastic fans. It's the third service. Sorry guys But Roman We're glad to have you on the panel man he's our college and young adults pastor, it's possible that you've never met Roman and This is your this is embarrassing for him first introduction to you guys But he is down at our Central Austin location on a week-to-week basis and we got to steal him up here for this Sunday, and we're super super glad that we could he's a wealth of wisdom and Was in youth ministry as well before stepping into the college young adults pastor So we're so glad that you're you're on the panel and you know as a believer What makes dating what makes marriage what makes love different as somebody who loves Jesus versus somebody who doesn't and it's it's very simple Is that we believe that we know what true love is and that sounds? It's a little bit of a polarizing statement, but if we truly believe what the Bible says that God is love then we as believers we have the opportunity and the privilege of understanding what true love is and That love is something that we get to offer to somebody else whether that be a partner or in dating or marriage Or if is it to our neighbor? Right whether whatever love works itself out in our life We have an opportunity to show the world what true love is so we should date different. We should love different we should marry different we should do friendship differently and You know we have a baseline for what love looks like in the scripture, and I want to read it to you It's first Corinthians chapter 13 and a lot of times

You know this is read as wedding poetry, or you know something that you hear a couple times a year but this is the Word of God and This is an amazing Privilege that we have that in the book to the Corinthians that the Apostle Paul. He lays out love within the context of Gifting within the context of all that we can do he talks about who we are and how we love is more important than anything that we could ever do for someone and He gives this incredible list and as we read this list today Just imagine What would it look like if us in this place that we say Jesus is our God Jesus is Lord and Savior of our lives What would happen if we actually began to live this way of outside of these four walls? I think a lot would change. I think a lot would change in us it would change in our homes It would change in culture, and we have that opportunity to learn about that this morning. This is what it says Love is patient. Love is kind It does not envy it does not boast it is not proud it does not dishonor others It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered It keeps no records of wrongs and love does not delight in evil, but it rejoices in truth It always protects it always trusts it always hopes and it always perseveres Wow And incredible imagine If we could all live like this and know that this is an amazing thing to look forward to but how does this work itself? out into our practical lives You know and how we love our neighbor how we love our spouse, but also in dating Because who knows people who are single a lot of times in church They don't get the love you know that the married people get you know There's always there's always sermons on marriages And there's always sermons on on you know how to top five tips to have your marriage Which I'm I'm very thankful for and all the married people. I'm sure are as well But today I believe that as we discuss this and unpack this verse together that you're gonna learn not just how to date You know we hope to give you some practical tools, but we really hope to focus on who you are and how you can love People around you you can love yourself and love the person that you end up with

So I believe it's gonna benefit all of us today, and I want to start with love is patient Come on. Who could use a little bit of patience I? Need some patience. You know love is patient. That is a that is a tough one That's a really really hard one especially in our world today You know who looks at the goo or the maps you know Apple Maps you put in your destination Can you say 24 minutes till you get there who knows that's not information. That's a challenge you know We're not patient It was just like we got to get everywhere as fast as we can as quickly as we can we want to get to the next season And so when you hear love is patient, DJ, I wanted to ask you, because out of 32 years, I'm sure that there's been a lot of opportunities to be patient, so I wanted to start with you. Yeah, just a few, three children, 32 years, just a few times to be patient. But I think it starts way before we're married. It starts when I'm single, and I'm thinking, okay, I'm ready to start dating, and you kind of, you wanna rush through the single season because you wanna get to the dating season, and then you wanna rush through the dating season, and you wanna get to the married season, and then when you're married, you're like, well, now we want kids, we wanna rush through that, and oh, now we want the kids, oh, I can hardly wait till the kids are in school, and oh, now I can hardly wait till the kids are in college. And before you know it, you've rushed through life without stopping and just savoring where you are and enjoying the moment, not that all moments are enjoyable.

And I think along with that, patience comes, patient with the people that you're with. You know, we have higher standards for the people that we spend the most time with, which is good, but we can also have unrealistic standards. And so when they start not living up to our expectations, right, and you know, why is he not getting me today, and you know, what's the deal with him, why is he not so chatty, is he mad at me, and you know, just, Mike, why aren't you talking to me? Are you mad? No, are you sure? I think you're mad because you're not talking to me, and I'm pretty sure you're mad. I'm not mad at you, Duann. Are you sure you're not mad at me, right? Like, you go through this, right? And it's like, all of a sudden you realize, what's the root? And the root is somewhere in there, and there's this lack of trust, right? Like, I'm not trusting God in the season I'm in, and I need to enjoy that and just know that his timing is gonna be perfect. Yeah, that's so good, because it's so true, isn't it, that we kind of live our lives in these chapters that we've made up for ourselves, that if we can get to the next chapter, then we have some form of success, when a lot of times we miss what God's trying to do

in us in this chapter. I didn't ask you this, the other two services, so I'm gonna ask you a really practical question about patience. Is, have you seen, like, when people are dating, that, you know, there's obviously those ones, like, my parents are, I think, an anomaly. They got, you know, dating and engaged in just a matter of weeks. I think that that's great for those that that works itself out with. But is there, like, a season of time? Like, I know I've heard, it's good to kind of see, to go through the holidays with somebody in their family, just to see what it's like, or, you know, for maybe those that are out there that are wondering, how long should I be dating for? Do you have any advice for that? Well, Mike and I got engaged after two months of dating, so we're probably not the best example of that. Well, maybe, did that have any effect? That's a great point, because I would say, for us, it's a really good question, I would say for us, yes, because I think we knew each other, but, you know, you're still kind of in, everyone calls it that honeymoon phase, so, you know, we got married, we'd only been dating 10 months when we got married, and so, it was really getting to know one another, and going, oh, oh, I didn't know you did this,

or, oh, you know, and so I do think there needs to be that time, but I really think, you know, we have two sons that both got married last year, within a month of each other, y'all, four weeks, they got married, and so watching them in their dating relationships, it was just very interesting to see, I think for both of them, when they knew, they knew, but it was really, be sure that you're praying about that, and seeking the Holy Spirit, and spending time with their family, as Pastor Joe says, when you go to their house, and there's a whole other people there, and so I think that there just needs to be, I think it's different for each individual, I can't put a number on that, but I think you know, but it really takes seeking the Lord in that. Yeah, okay, that's great, that's very helpful. Avery, you guys dated for three years, so that's a little bit different, so what was that like, like what did you learn as you were patient in your dating, and then maybe even in this season, just when you say, here, love is patient, what do you hear? Yeah, I think patience, man, you think that you're being patient in dating until you get married, and then like Z would say, Lord, I gotta be patient with him every day for years, and it's like, yeah, you called to this,

like, you got this, girl. Okay, that's my first thought, but yeah, so what are we actually talking about? We're talking about a person becoming someone, and so let's say that we're dating, and in our context, everybody is becoming and growing, and there's different versions of themselves, and our expectation is, no, you should already be here right now, you should be doing this right now, why are you not getting better at this right now? And to hear that from a woman is hard, because you genuinely are working in. trying to grow and it's like I just need patience. But even hearing that from a man saying that to a woman, it's like you should be doing this, this, this, this, this. Like there's no room for growth and becoming and partnership in that. So what are we really talking about? Is really the foundational things. If I plant an apple seed and I plant that into the ground, then the expectation is an apple tree. But there is so much time and patience there. But what I'm confident in while I'm being patient is the seed sown in the ground. And that is gonna be the garden we live in tomorrow. So Z was confident in three years that the seeds that we've planted, that I can say yes to marrying you because only because of the seed,

not because of you, not because of me. There was constantly, we're at this place of becoming, becoming, becoming, but we can acknowledge the seed sown in the ground. My last thing on this is to have an expectation of something that you have not sown is deception. So if I plant an apple seed in the ground, but then it's an orange tree and it's like, oh, look at this orange tree, I really wanted an orange tree. No, you planted an apple seed in that ground. So if you sow and you're dating and you're sowing certain seeds, then that is what it's going to become to be. And then we get heartbroken over the things that we intentionally sowed. And then there's no patience involved in that. Be patient in sowing the righteous thing and have an expectation that God is gonna do something great. I think that's so good, especially in those that are dating, that are maybe new in dating or they're really seriously trying to find the right one, is it is all about the preparation season for what comes next. Because every married person in here that's been married for more than five minutes knows, the person that you said yes to is not the same person that you have to continue to say yes to every single day after the years.

And that's not because they have changed, well, it is because they have changed. It's not because they've changed intentionally, it's because there's shared suffering, there's life, there's growth, there's maturity, there's all these things that happen from the outside. And it's so important that you can't be so focused on what their tree is looking like. You have to keep sowing the right seeds, the seeds that got you where you wanted to or where you are today. And I really think that's great because it's opposite to what the world thinks. They think that whoever this person is, is they need to be perfect. They need to look great, they need to have the right amount of money in the bank account, they need to have X, Y, Z, their dating profile has to be exactly what I want it to be for me to even give them a shot. And Roman, I mean, you probably see this as a college young adults pastor, as someone who's dating, dating apps, I mean, we have such an opportunity to just let patients be non-existent, right? Because you can just choose in the moment who you're interested in, who you're not interested in, no longer do you have to kind of go out of your way to search it out, but it kind of has come to you. And what do you think that does to people?

What do you think that does to your mind, to your heart when we talk about love? Yeah, well, I think it's obvious that the direction of society is going in the exact opposite direction of patients. You know, we have everything we could possibly want in the palm of our hands. And I love what Pastor Lori said last week. Celebration Church, we're pro-dating apps. We just also have to understand what they are. In fact, 40% of adults have been on or are on dating apps, and it goes all the way up to 50% if they're below the age of 30. So they're here to stay, you just have to understand what they are. And what they are is somebody's greatest sales pitch of themselves. And the problem is, is you bring in this idea of instant gratification that you get from online shopping or DoorDash, you know, food delivery, and you bring it into human relationship. But how many of you guys know, oftentimes, what you see at first is not what you end up getting. So it starts to deteriorate somebody's patience when at the palm of their hand, they have just so many people that they could possibly go on a date with. And you get in the same mindset, well, I'll just order something different if I don't like what I got.

But how many of you guys know, the beauty of humans comes out over time. That's how God developed us. And so often, maybe you even will go on like one date, and they don't mark, they don't check off every single box that you have. So you're just like, all right, it can never work with this person. But in all reality, I think we're withholding ourselves from pretty amazing relationships because we expect such instant understanding, such instant comfort. This is the person that it's gonna work out with for the rest of my life. But if you only give me an hour and a half date at Longhorn Steakhouse. Chili's. at Chili's in last service. That's why you got the Chili's DM. I don't know how well I'm gonna fare in the scheme of being with you forever if that's all I have to be judged about. Right, I love that because I think that works itself out into marriage too. I think even as you're married to someone and your life changes and you go forward together, what you're doing is you're building a life. Love being patient means that love should grow, it should steep like a tea or age like a fine wine to where it gets greater and more developed over time.

But a lot of the times, how long we've been married, is we want it to be, we have an expectation of what it's gonna feel like, what it's gonna look like, what they're gonna look like, how they're gonna treat us. It's the same way in dating, that it ends up taking the patience out of it and then we end up actually mistreating the person who God has also created, who's made in the image of God, who's a brother and sister in Christ, if they're in the family of God. And it ends up leading to what is our second point in 1 Corinthians 13 that says love is not self-seeking. Love is not selfish. And my men's small group that I'm in, we're going through a book right now called The Meaning of Marriage. And he talks about how self-seeking love is the underlying foundation of all missed expectations, of all insecurities, and of all really poor marriage, is that there's a self-seeking to what you're wanting to get out of this relationship. And maybe you're in here today and you're like, yeah, I'm self-seeking, this is marriage. Like I want that person to love me, but that's the thing, that's what makes us different as the people of God is that we believe that the greatest way to receive love

is to sow the seed of love, of service into that other person. But it's hard because we're all human beings and we're all selfish. And so DJ, I love how you and Mike's relationship, at least what I've gotten to know over these last 10 years, it seems like this is just a part of who you guys are and something that you do really naturally. And maybe it wasn't natural at first, I don't know, but it's something that we all really, really admire about you guys. Yeah, I would say that Mike and I joke that we try and, our competition is can we out-give one another or out-serve one another? So it's like, oh, the dishwasher ran last night, can I beat Mike in the kitchen and get it emptied before he gets in there? And I hate emptying the dishwasher, so that's a true act of love right there. You know, well, Mike was like, I'm gonna clean the bathroom on a Saturday morning, you know, before she gets up, you know? And so it's like, can we out-do one another? I think it's having that mentality of going into a relationship of I wanna be there for the other person, I wanna take something off their plate, I wanna serve them. It's that type of love that Jesus showed us, right? He came to serve us, and so we need to turn around to serve others.

Flip that, and you have this self, where you're more selfish, let's be honest, because we are selfish, because, you know, that's our flesh. And it's what can this person do for me, right? Oh, they didn't check this box, well, I don't think that's gonna work out, right? You're looking at them to check all those boxes to make you whole. And that's not gonna happen, because only God can make us whole, right? It's only through him can we have freedom and redemption and be restored and be saved. And so you're never gonna be satisfied if you're in a relationship when you're just looking for what can it do for me. Yeah, and because it's a slippery slope, honestly, isn't it? If you begin a relationship out of what that person can do for me, then they are at the beck and call of whatever you want. And who knows, we're fallen people. And that leads us down, I mean, a dark path, whether it be through how we view this person or if we want what we want right now, we gotta get what we get, like, and then if that person, you know, disappoints us, and it could be in anything, it could be emotionally, it could be sexually, it could be in the way that they look.

If they end up disappointing us, then we try to take control. Because really, selfishness worked out, right, is control. And it's so hard that as believers that God has called us to lay down our lives for the other person, but it's hard to not get what you want in the moment. But who knows that when you go down that self-seeking, the only end to that, the best end that you could have to that is insecurity. Not the worst, but like the least that you're gonna get there is an insecure relationship. And I think that there's a lot of relationships that I've seen over these last years, especially when dating apps came around because of the ease of it, where it's just, it starts really insecure. And when the relationship's built on insecurity, then it can only sustain on self-seeking. So I wanna just bring that up. Roman, what have you seen with that? Have you seen insecurity in relationships? and how does that work its way out in dating that you've seen? Yeah, I think it only, I mean, just to be vulnerable, I'm older than I thought I'd be, and single. I mean, I thought I was gonna be 22, married with kids. I'm grateful that I wasn't, because I wasn't ready. But can we pause right there? Yeah. Average age of somebody that gets married

in America today is 30, by the way. And that just freed some of y'all. That should free you too, Roman. He's not 30 yet. But I just had to say that, because I think there's some people out there that are 29 that's like, I should have been married by now. By a couple more years, yeah. You're still ahead of the average, all right? Praise God. Go ahead. But I think the older you get, the more both people build expectations, which means there's more pressure to meet more expectations. And I think I struggle with this, where if I am insecure about that, I will project that into a relationship. And I see it so often, where you're actually putting stuff into a relationship that was never gonna make its way into that relationship if you didn't let it. And you almost withhold yourself from allowing that person to show you that they love you, despite all of those things, by putting it so much as the emphasis in a relationship. And that's what insecurity does. It pollutes everything, where you are now putting thoughts that that person's not even having into the mix,

because you're so insecure about yourself, and it casts its shadow over any relationship that you may have, romantic or just friendship. Yeah, that's true. Avery, what have you seen with that? I know you've probably seen that. Yeah, I think it comes from, you have to deal with the past. And so, as a child, when I had my first girlfriend, whenever that happened, and then we, whatever that may be, when she broke up with me, because, yeah, she broke up with me, that's a whole nother story. When I got broken up with, it was like, what? So then the next relationship I jump into, I'm stepping in with, well, I don't wanna be rejected. I don't want this, this, this, this to happen. I'm gonna dress a certain way. All this insecurity came into this next relationship because of a past relationship, times that by how many times you've dated somebody. And then all these things that I'm carrying of these, well, I know that such and such didn't like this, or such and such didn't like when I talked about that, or I can't do this. And all that is shaping who I'm presenting myself with the actual person that is my actual person. And then, so Z would say, hey, that ain't from me. I ain't put that on you.

Where is that coming from? And it's because of these other things. I would say to deal with that. So to, insecurity is first to be secure in your relationship with the Lord. I need that identity to come from you, and the words you've spoken over my life to heal these things that man has put in me, and instilled in me in the name of love. So I can be whole to the best of my ability with this person in front of me as I become more whole. And for somebody to speak like his words over you, and that identity over you. Imagine a man speaking God's identity over a woman when she's in an insecure moment. But vice versa, a man needs that too. And a man's insecure moment to have a woman of God say, hey, that's not who you are. It's really about your identity being secured in him because of man-made relationships is created this insecurity that is poisoned and bleeding into everything. That's so good because we as believers, we have a secure foundation. It is our identity in Christ. The Bible tells us that we are made into a new creation. It says that our hearts can go from hearts of stone to hearts of flesh. We see all throughout the New Testament and the Old Testament, God just doing the miraculous.

And maybe for some people in here, you've dated poorly, and that has led to certain things in your life, whether it's insecurities or actions or things that you've done that you regret. You know, the power of the gospel is that it can come in and that it can rewrite your history. And that with God, he truly can take what is as red as crimson, the Bible says, and makes it as white as snow. But we as the believer have to stand secure in our identity as sons and daughters of God, as people made in the image of God and people that live in the new creation. And that's what I love is the next part of 1 Corinthians chapter 13. It says that love rejoices in the truth. What is the truth? The truth is who Jesus is and who we are in him. And so I love what you're saying, Avery, because we need to have dating relationships that lead into marriages, that lead into families of families that can rejoice in the truth of what God says over someone. Because we live in a culture right now that is not rejoicing in that truth because that truth is so redefined. And you know, Roman, how does that truth confront dating culture that you've seen? Like if we're truly made in the image of God, that's the truth that we want somebody

to rejoice in over our life. How does that confront what you've seen? Yeah, well I think if you read this verse, you understand like society is moving in the exact opposite direction of basically everything laid out in what love is. And you know, dating today, love doesn't rejoice necessarily in truth, it rejoices in we're gonna go on nice trips together, you're gonna make a lot of money, you're gonna look nice, there's gonna be good sexual attraction there. We're gonna go on nice Instagrammable dates. Like that's what love, we would say, rejoices in. But for believers, our one and only goal in a relationship should be that we are running after Jesus together. And that love rejoicing in truth is love rejoicing in Jesus and aligning ourselves with Jesus as much as we possibly can. And I think that's where the priority needs to be. So I say this, but if you're gonna get picky about something, get picky about that type of stuff in a relationship. Get picky on whether or not that guy is actually a follower of Jesus and he takes that seriously. And you can see that man praying for your family one day and praying over you one day.

Get picky on if they're planted in the house of God or if this is just like something they put in their bio. I have the amazing, thank you. For one person class, there was a class. That was a single woman actually. Yeah, so funny. I'm just kidding, I don't know if you are. I'm not trying to start a fight. But I'm not married, but I had the privilege of watching such a beautiful marriage between my parents. And you know what, my father didn't get everything down. Really, he struggled with a lot of things. But the one thing that he had down was his reliance on Jesus, that he was a man of God before he ever was. And my mom passed away four years ago. And can I tell you what persevered over all of that was him and his relationship with Jesus, stirring my family in faith when we didn't have any. So if you're gonna get picky, get picky about that and run after that truth. Yeah, who knows, that's the truth right there. Thank you. And DJ, have you seen this working itself out, rejoicing in truth in your own life, but also you now have kids that are married, kids that are still in dating. You've walked through the season with a lot of people. What does that mean to you? What does that look like?

Yeah, I would say when Mike and I got married, I think we both kind of had a vision of this is what our life's gonna look like, and we're gonna have these kids, and we're gonna make a lot of money, and we're gonna be successful. And, but we also knew we were always gonna be seeking the Lord, right? And so I would say, does our life look like we thought it would? Probably not, but it's better, right? Like I just wanna say, because we've stayed like constant on what is true, and that's just the Lord, and just making that our foundation, you know, other things come and go, and there's times that we'll look at ourselves and go, gosh, did you think we'd have more money by now? Yeah, I totally thought we'd have more money by now. Right, you know, and just like, there's just things like that, and of course, a lot of that comes from social media. How are they going on that vacation? Don't we make as much money as they make, you know? And it's like, that's not truth, right? Truth is, truth is where we are together, united, serving in the house, seeking the Lord, watching our kids be planted in the house, watching them seek the Lord, going, you know, seeking God, and just, and their spouse, and those relationships, and that's what's truth,

and it only comes from Him. That's great, and it's that truth, right, that leads to the last, which is endurance. You know, it's truth that leads to endurance. Love rejoices in truth, but then it says that love endures all things. And you know, it's so easy in dating to, wanna have a lot of fun, and that's great, and you should have a lot of fun. Dating should be fun. But it's so easy to think about how much fun, how much of the positive can I have with that person? I know I'm just, I'm only gonna marry this person just because they make me so happy. I can't tell you how many times I've heard Christian people say, oh, I'm just glad they're happy, when I'm like, okay, happiness is fantastic, but happiness does not suffer with you. Happiness does not endure. It's love that endures. And you know, as the people of God, we see love endures because Jesus endured the cross. And when it's talking about endurance, we're not talking about it lasts a long time. We're talking about suffering. And one of the best pieces of advice my wife and I ever got was to find somebody and date someone that you wanna suffer with, because who knows, suffering, is inevitable.

And I bet you if I looked around the room and I looked at those who have been together for a long time, you would say that those seasons of sufferings were ones that you learned a lot about what came from the inside of you. And I think it's important for us to talk about this with dating because we need to learn to know, or we need to know that the person we end up with is the one that we'll suffer with. And I know that we all have stories of this, but Avery, I want you to maybe talk a little bit about your dating world and kind of how, maybe things when you guys were engaged didn't go as you thought. Yeah, yeah, I love the suffering angle. You love suffering, huh? No, no, no. I do, what I mean by that is like, you bringing up Jesus and his suffering, even that, for the joy set before him. Like, it's just, and it's the greatest display of love to still choose, but that's, you know me, I go in my mind. I say that to say there's this moment where me and Z were dating, we're dating for three years, and there is this vision, there's these goal setting. We're gonna like this, imagine this, what it's gonna be like. And in our engagement, my wife gets a report from the doctor that she is unable to have kids.

And we're engaged, and it's now this moment of, do I marry this person who is unable to have children? And it can't be based on a goal or a vision of what we had. Vision, without vision, the people perish. That's Hazan in Hebrew, which means revelation, a word from God, and rock bottom in that moment was a word from him. We are called together to break down generational curses, lay the foundation for generational blessings. Kids or no kids, report, not report. I am still choosing this person for the call, for the word, for this mission. And that's how we've seen love endure. So then you're married, you find that out in engagement, and then you're married, and years go by, years go by, years go by, but we both never even talked about it. We just knew, let's just serve these students, and we're gonna focus on this for even other families. What we thought was impossible, though, everything else was just us being at awe and wonder of who God is and him revealing who he is, because now we do have three beautiful babies. But I'm so thankful that when that report came, I still chose her, despite the report. And I just feel like love endures in that, keeping it about the word, accomplishing the word God placed on us. I mean, I hear your story, man, and I'm like, the fact that you do have three amazing kids,

the miracle that that is, what is on the other side of our endurance? What life is on the other side of us saying yes, even when it's hard? For you, it's three actual lives. It's their futures, it's their kids, it's their families. And man, I wanna applaud you for saying yes, but also, man, what incredible love enduring bears fruit that it could never bear if it didn't endure. And Roman, I know that because you're at Central Austin, normally there's a lot of us that don't know your story, but maybe would you just share with us a little bit about your testimony and what it looks like for love to endure? Yeah, well, I would say I don't look at love endures as like this nice thing you say anymore. I feel like I'm on the other end of some life events that have just made me look at that as it's a fact. Love does endure. You know, I didn't know my biological father growing up, so when I talk about my father, I'm technically talking about my stepfather, who I believe is my dad. And early on, I mean, we didn't have money. My parents were on food stamps. We were in government housing, but despite financial hardship, I saw love endure. My sister ran away when she was 16 years old, and that caused a rift in our family, and despite that, I saw love endure.

My mom was diagnosed three times with cancer all throughout my life, from eight years old to 19 years old to 22 when she, geez, 24 when she would pass away. And then less than two years after that, my sister would create a really horrible drinking habit that would also take her life as well. So I'm on the other end of that, and I can say that love has endured. It has. In fact, despite everything that's come at our family, I just know love endures. In fact, when my. Flesh falls apart, my spirit is broken. I look at that and I still feel my mother's love enduring. I feel it on the stage right now, knowing how proud she would be for a moment like this. That love endures, that the love in our family, and more importantly, the love of God endures every single moment in our family, so it's a fact. So maybe you're going through a hard time in gear. Maybe you're unsure of some shaky situations coming up. I'm just grateful that God shows love to build everything on, because it is the only thing that I have seen that actually can endure, because so many things fall apart. I mean, attraction fades. Chemo and radiation, they'll take some attraction away, but love can still endure, and I've seen it to be true in my own life.

Amen, amen. And maybe you're in here today and you think, man, that's really great that that's your story, but it's not your story. And I think it's easy for us to feel like when we've been hurt, when we've gone through pain in relationships, specifically romantic relationships, whether it be a divorce or a breakup or something that you've seen in your family, it's so easy to think, yeah, that's really great for you, and you're on the other side of that, the love of God endures, but you're like, man, I really wish that that would happen to me right now. And I just wanna tell you, first of all, that you're not alone, and that God is here, He's with you, and He loves you. But DJ, what would you say to somebody who's maybe feeling that way right now? Yeah, I would say don't let your heart be hard, right? Because that's really, I think, what it comes down to, and I actually had this revelation just two weeks ago when I was sharing, I speak in Connection Point, and I was sharing just kind of my testimony about when I went through college, and I had turned away from the Lord, had just kind of some traumatic things happen in my childhood with my parents, and at a point, my mom said she didn't love me, and kind of went to college

just with that chip on my shoulder. And it wasn't until I was sharing in Connection Point how I turned away from the Lord that I realized I had let my heart get hard. I turned away from the Lord because my heart got hard, and I thought I could do it better on my own. I couldn't do it better on my own, right? Let me tell you right now, God is waiting for you. He wants you to call out to Him. Don't think you can do it better on your own. He created you. He wants you to reach out to Him. He is there for you. Don't let the lie of the enemy tell you that He's not gonna listen to you, that He's moved on, that you're not good enough, because He has called you and created you for a purpose, and He will use that hurt, and He will use that brokenness, restore you. In Hebrews 11, it says it's in the battles, right, that we grow stronger. And I just wanna say, it's a battle you're in. Pray that God will soften your heart and let Him in. Amen, amen. Amen. Amen. DJ, would you pray for us? Maybe pray for those, and yeah, just pray for all of us in our dating season, whether we're married, single, whatever season that we're in.

Just closing with prayer for us. Father, we just thank You that You have given us and showed us the perfect example of love. We thank You, Jesus, that You came and You died for us, and I just pray that, Lord, today we take away just one thing, one thing from the Scripture, Lord, that we can just apply in our lives, the Holy Spirit that You will just show us, soften each of our hearts, Lord, that we can love the way that You love. God, let us be a blessing to those around us. Let us approach love as serving others, Lord, and just seeking You so that You can be glorified. In Your name we pray, amen. Amen. Amen, can we just clap our hands and thank God for these three? Thank you, God. Thank you, guys. And I do want us to just remain in a posture of prayer, because I do just wanna do a little bit of business with God before we leave today. And if we all would just bow our heads and close our eyes for a second. If you're in here today and you just say, that last part was for me. Maybe you're in here and your love tank is on empty. Maybe you're going through something, you're going through a painful situation, and you just need God's love to remind you today

that He's here with you and that He loves you. Would you just raise a hand if that's you? Not for me to see, but for God to see. Amen. Lord, I do pray for every hand that's raised. God, You know every situation that's happening. God, You know every broken piece of their heart. God, and Your word says that You are close to the brokenhearted. And God, I pray for those that need just a fresh revelation of You. Your love, God, your love is patient and kind and selfless and enduring. God, thank you that you showed us that by dying on the cross for us and defeating darkness by raising again. God, I pray that every person that's in here today that needs that revelation, God, that you would meet them right where they are personally, speak to their heart, speak through your word today, God, to them, minister to them. And God, I pray for those that don't know you that are here today. God, that they would even sense your love to them right now. God, I pray that those that are lost would know that you died for them and that you rose again so that they may live in the newness of life. And God, I pray if there is anyone that's in here today

that they would simply pray, God, thank you for loving me, I give my life to you. Come and be with me, Lord, today. I believe that you died and rose again. God, I pray that they would mean that with their heart and that they would step into the new creation that you have for them. And God, we thank you that you love us, in Jesus name. Amen, amen, Amen. Come on church, can we clap our hands? ♪ Hey, hey, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪