Cut Off or Connected | Crossroads Daily

Hey, I'm Chuck, I'm Kirsten, I'm Miko, and I'm Debo, and we are looking at John 15 today. I'm gonna start with something that's just heartbreaking. So a couple weeks ago, my wife said something to me that really cut me at the heart. She says she feels like she has to compete for my attention. That was really, really hard to hear from the woman I love. But I think the reason she said that is because I'm a striver, I'm a doer, and it's really hard for me to slow down sometimes to be present. And I think Jesus is getting at that in John 15 when he invites us, actually commands us to abide, right? That we can be doing all this stuff that's fruitful, we think fruitful, but it can be unfruitful if it's not coming from a place of abiding. So, man, what stands out to you about that invitation, that challenge maybe to abide? I think I speak this phrase of myself that is not true, that I'm not an obedient person, that I am not good at obedience, and I kind of take that and I'm like, okay, so it's okay if I don't read my Bible every day, okay, it's okay if I don't pray or pray with my kids or pray with my husband, like I'm just not, I'm not an obedient person, I'm not good at routine and things like that. And I get in this trap of just completely taking away all abiding, and I'm like, there's grace, grace, you know, grace. And I find myself in a place of like loss, and I feel the disconnection from the vine, I can feel it. I see it in how my days play out, I see it in how I'm acting and behaving, which is not who I am when I'm connected to the Lord in those ways. And so, and I'm only saying that because I'm freshly coming from a season like that, where my husband was saying similar things of like, where are you? Like, you are not coming home who I've known you to be and the like patient, and I'm like, I have not been reading my Bible, I've not been taking time to pray and talk to God. And immediately I'm like, that has to change. And so there's a clear difference in just my life, being tied to the vine, which for me looks like scripture and prayer, worship, and my alone time.

And when I'm not. Yeah. Let me press into that a little bit. I love your honesty there. And so you realized, I'm not doing it. What did it practically look like to shift? What did you do differently? Oh, Chuck. Unfortunately, it looks like waking up at 530 in the morning, which I am fine because I would tell myself, oh, I'll do it at night after I put my boys to bed. No, I'm not doing that. I have dishes to do, and then I'm tired. And then I got some drive to survive to binge. We don't have time for that. And so I knew it had to be in the morning. So it took the hard truth of being like, okay, I got to wake up before my kids. I am going to read through a book at a time because I know that that's what works for me. I can read a chapter. I could read a paragraph. I could read a sentence. It doesn't matter as long as I'm spending that time and just inviting God to speak to me in that way. And let me tell you, he has. It's transformed my perspective, and I have been putting pieces together of how he's talking to me right now. And it is just, it's so, so great. And I know I'm going to forget it at some point. And I just, you guys can keep me accountable and remind me of like, no, remember? It's an ebb and flow.

It's an ebb and flow, right? Yeah. We need to constantly be called back to that. Yes. Yeah. That's so good. What comes to mind when you're laying and striving in that tension? What comes to mind? Yeah. I'm also a doer. Similar to you, Chuck. I love to be busy. I love to feel productive. And sometimes I feel like even just sitting and reading my Bible, I'm like, oh, I could be doing more productive things. That's so hard to even say that I feel bad about saying that, but there's things in my mind of like, and I'm like, I could be doing something else that feels more productive. And sometimes I can talk myself into thinking that the time I'm spending in the Word or spending with the Lord is not productive, but it's everything. Like you were saying, Kirsten, everything flows out of that. And so, yeah, I think abiding is for me is also like waking up early in the morning and worship is a huge thing for me. So songs that remind me of scripture, songs that remind me and point me to God, allow me to just sit. and abide in Him. And so I think for me, it's like worship and reading the Word has been super, super helpful in that, and just knowing that this is the most important thing. Overfeeling productive, overfeeling busy in my day, this is the most important thing. Yeah. Makes me think about the story in the Bible of Jesus when He's at Mary and Martha's, and Martha's busy, right? Martha's doing all the things, and Mary is sitting at the feet of Jesus, and at one point, they're sisters. And so Martha comes to Jesus and says,

do you see my sister? Tell her to help me. She's just sitting. She's just sitting there. At your feet. Yeah, and Jesus says to Martha what I think He says to me, certainly in my striving, which is, hey, actually, she's choosing the better thing. The better thing is to abide. It never feels like the better. There's a part, the broken part of me that always, I'm like you, want to be busy, but the better thing is to at least start from that place of abiding. That's good. That's really good. Yeah. I don't know. I definitely, that resonates with me as well. And I'm still at a place of like as the season has shifted trying to get back to like, okay, God, now what does my norm look like in my schedule with you? And I'm definitely feeling the wear and tear of it not being there. And the exact words you used, I felt like I was just sitting and contemplating like a week or so ago. And I was kind of processing like, God, how do I feel? And the word disconnected came to mind. It's like, I don't feel distant from you, Lord. I specifically feel disconnected, you know, and that's divine language. And yeah, when I'm not connected, when I'm not consistently sitting with God and I don't know, because if I'm not, if I don't have that rhythm in my life, I just, I don't know. I think I'm more susceptible to the enemy's attacks. I feel way more uncertain. I feel way more foggy in my thoughts. I feel more irritable. My wife notices it. So she says something today. She's like, have you been taking your vitamins? No. That's step two. I don't know. We haven't gotten there yet. So I don't know. I think I feel it and then the people around me feel it as well. Yeah. I think the other thing that we just got to talk about when we look at John 15 is as challenging as abiding is, then Jesus says this. He says, then there's this whole thing of pruning. And I love what it says in John 15, one and two, because we think, oh, pruning, yeah, the bad stuff. He's going to cut off the bad. No, no. Healthy things get pruned. Right? I mean, this is a regular thing in my life where God is constantly pruning away times that I want to say yes to things. I say yes to too many things. And the ebb and flow is, I prune, prune, prune, prune, prune. I get to a sensible place. Then I started saying yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And then I have to prune, prune, prune, prune, prune again. And that's just in my schedule. I mean, there are lots of other areas where God is pruning me. So where's God

pruning you right now? What's something in your life that you feel like is getting pruned? I actually see this in my job changes a lot where I'll be happy and thriving and succeeding in my job. I'm like, wow, this is perfect. I want to do this forever. I'm just so good at it. Like, I don't need to stop. I just figured it out. And then I get asked to move into a new position and it's hard all over again. It's like, I have to relearn what's happening. I have to relearn how to work with a team. I have to, and that's my life right now is I recently switched job roles from something I felt like I was really good at and doing like well. And like it was good work life balance. And now I feel like that all was temporarily pruned away. And I, and God like used the Holy Spirit to kind of prepare me for that. Like I oddly enough knew it was going to happen. But I feel pruning happening in the way I interact with people. I came with a chip on my shoulder where I'm like, I'm in charge. I'm the boss. Like everyone do what I say. Yeah. Right. And I'm so glad that that's being pruned because what a horrible branch to be walking around with when you love the people you're with, you love the people you're following and you're serving. And yet there's this, like, which in my old role was helpful. Like it, it was helpful to be in charge and direct. and concise, and in this new role, there's a lot more nurturing that's needed, it's a lot more patience, a lot more collaborating, and I cannot be more grateful to be in that season. That's awesome. Sounds like you're being discipled in it, like God's using it as a tool to grow you in that area. Yeah, definitely. I think for me, where I'm seeing pruning, honestly, it's really just kind of taking inventory of my schedule. Things that were, and even godly things, right? Like some of the men's groups that I will be a part of, it's like, is that going to be something I can carry over into this next season, you know? And still manage to, you know, work well,

and be a good husband, and be present with my son. So it's even like certain good things that I'm going to have to like. I asked you to do something, and you had to say no to me. I did. I did not like that. Mmm. I did not like that answer. Talk about it. I didn't like having to say no, bro. I didn't. I literally didn't, man. And then when I got the 20 minute thing, I'm like, he snubbed me. He only gave me 20 minutes. He snubbed me. Oh God, no, no. I'm pruning. I'm pruning. I love it. I love it, man. We're all in this season together, so yeah. How about you, Devo? Yeah, I think for me, something that's practical, I think the Lord, I've been pruning, or have pruned the season of my life is social media. Yeah. I went through a season, I feel like, where just anxiety and just worry

just really overcame my mind. And the Lord spoke to me and my husband, and we both were just like, we need to get off of social media and allow that space in our mind just to be occupied with his word. Just because I noticed that I was taking inventory of my life, and I was like, dang, I'm on social media a lot. And it's causing a lot of comparison and worry and stress. And for me to just be able to focus on what the Lord's doing in front of me right now and have good stewardship of what the Lord's put in my life right now, and not worry about what anybody else is doing, he's asked me to cut that off. And it's not like, in itself, it's not a bad thing. I mean, there's bad things that come with social media, but there's also not, it's not all bad. And so it was a hard one because it's also a fun thing to have something to do. But yeah, the Lord recently was just like, you need to not be on social media. So I've pruned that off in my life. Yeah, mine is in the physical. So for the last six months, God's really been pruning my diet, how I eat, and really helping me to orient to the importance of my physical temple. It's great to develop my mind,

and yes, I need to develop my spirit, but God has said, there's some things about your physical body that I want you to address. And it is so freaking hard. It is hard, but it is good. And I just would encourage you today, as you read John 15, two invitations. There's the invitation to abide, right? The invitation to slow down. And first of all, well done. If you're watching this, you're probably abiding. You're probably in the app, but you're probably abiding. So well done, you got that one under your belt. But what's that rhythm look like? Keep going after it. And then the other thing is, there's probably an area in your life, maybe you know what it is. Maybe you're in the middle of it right now, where you're being pruned. I just want you to know, if it hurts, that doesn't mean it's bad. It could be really, really good. And it could be a place where God wants you to bear more fruit. So be encouraged today. ♪♪♪