Cómo hacer una buena conexión

The Son of God, the Lord Jesus Christ, said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me. Therefore, go around the world teaching and preaching the gospel to every creature, to the last of the earth. En Contacto, the biblical teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley. Today on En Contacto, how to make a good connection. What are the most important words you have heard from your father? Have you ever heard him say, I love you? How did it feel the first time your father said, I love you? How old were you when you heard that? How old was your father when he said it? Or maybe it's one of those people who, when they look back on their life, understand that their father died when they were little, and they never remember anything about their father. Or maybe he was already old when his father died, and he never heard his father say, I love you. How did he feel when he knew that his father had died, and he understood that he would never, ever hear him say, I love you? Do you believe that the absence of the love of your father has affected your personal relationships, your relationship with your husband, your wife, your children, or your friends? Or do you believe that in some way you have overcome all of that and that it is no longer a problem? Listen, one does not overcome such a disconnected, and so empty, and so fragile, and so fragmented, as growing up without the love of a father. What I would like to talk about in this message is just that, how to make a good connection. And join me in the Old Testament, in 2 Samuel, chapter 14. 2 Samuel, chapter 14. And I will tell you what happened before reading this passage. 2 Samuel, chapter 14.

David's daughter, Tamar, is seduced by her brother Amnon. She rejects him and rejects him, until in the end he rapes her. And so, when David learned of this, the only thing the Bible says is that he was angry. That tells us something about how disconnected he was from his children. His brother Absalom said, Do not say anything. Two years later, he kills Amnon, and then flees because of his father's fear. And we will begin in verse 28 of chapter 14 with that in mind. And Absalom was in Jerusalem for two years, and he did not see the face of the king, that is, King David. And he sent Absalom by Joab to send him to the king. But he did not want to come, and he sent another for a second time, and he did not want to come. Then he said to his servants, to call their attention, Look at the field of Joab. It is next to mine, and there is a sheaf there, and set fire to it. And the servants of Absalom set fire to the field. Then Joab got up and came to Absalom's house, and said to him, Why have your servants set fire to my field? And Absalom said to Joab, Here I have sent for you, saying that you should come here in order to send you to the king, to tell him, Why have I come from Jesus? It would be better for me to be still there. Now I see the face of the king, and if there is sin in me, kill me. Then Joab came to the king, and made him know. Then he called Absalom, who came to the king, and bowed his face to the ground before the king, and the king kissed Absalom. I would like you to analyze this. How did Absalom kill his brother and flee? And his father returned to see him two years after bringing him to Jerusalem. Was there something in Absalom that desired so much to see his father, such a deep longing to see him, that he said, Joab, take me with him, even if it means killing me in the act, I want to see him? If we examine the life of David, all his family was disconnected. And in light of that, as a prelude, I would like us to think about this issue of making a good connection in the Bible. between the father and his children. It is very evident, not only in life,

but for those who have studied all kinds of relationships between children, parents and mothers, and also God. It is very evident that there is a fundamental need in the life of each child that God has put there that the children have a strong emotional relationship. When we talk about being connected, we talk about a strong emotional connection with our parents. When a child has a strong emotional connection with his father, it is easier for him, without a doubt, to trust God. It is easier for him to believe in God. It is easier for him to respect Him. When a child does not have that kind of relationship, there is a feeling of distance. There is a confusion about who God is and how He is. And it is extremely, extremely difficult for a child to genuinely love God when he has not had a true and strong relationship with his father. It is very important that each child has a strong emotional relationship with his father. Well, it is interesting to begin to see the results of these things in the personal life, the life of a child, when we see a father, because the reaction of a child, the reaction of a child towards his father is going to reveal his attitude towards God, because that is his image of God. What opportunity does a child have to grow up in that kind of family where he cannot show his wounds or pain, when he is expected to do more than he knows how to do, in addition to living with the fear of perhaps doing something wrong and being scolded by his father,

who is passive, does not get involved in his life and it seems that he does not care much about what happens. What possibilities does that child have? I would like to tell you something. Before we all start criticizing and judging children or teenagers for their lifestyle, even if it is extremely bad, I do not defend that. They consume drugs, drink alcohol, dress to seduce, practice sex, get involved in all this and we rush to judge and then we say, they are rebellious young people. Maybe he needs to stop and ask first, what is the cause? Have they been so disconnected from their father? Have they been, look, so empty, without a relationship, without feeling, nothing that connects them? Isn't it acting as a normal and natural child would do when the father, who is the key figure in his child's life, when he acts in a way that sends these messages that make the child feel useless? Besides, when he starts talking to that child about God,

who is interested in a God who does not worry, who is not compassionate, who scolds, who is ashamed, who represses, who destroys his image and his self-esteem? Don't talk to me about a God like that. Isn't it surprising that we are raising a generation of children without interest in the church because it represents God's house? I'm not interested in the Bible because it represents God's book. I'm not interested in preachers because they speak of God. I'm not interested in Christian faith because, after all, it is God's faith. We rush to criticize. We judge them. Do I justify their sin? Of course not. But we must stop and ask ourselves, what is the cause? I will say something about mothers. This message is not only for parents because I will tell you this. Some mothers live in a home where the character of their husband fits what I said.

And so their attitude can be useless, it's in vain. Look, forget it, give up. No, you can't give up. You can't give up because what you do to your children and what you do as a pious mother is, look, it's super, super important. If you have a husband who doesn't even know why he acts the way he does and I don't criticize him and in a few moments I'll show him why not. I criticize him. And so maybe they want to judge him. Maybe tell their children, you know what? We should go. This is terrible. You need to ask yourself, what motivates him? What happened to this man in his early years that turned him into this? He was so disconnected from his father that now he imposes on his own children these attitudes and these habits or this behavior that are the result of his disconnection with his father. He didn't have that kind of foundation. He didn't have that kind of relationship.

So what does he do? He's transmitting the only thing he knows. He only knows that. That was taught to him. That is his image of God and he brings it to his family and transmits it to his children. That is why what we do in the lives of our children is so important. Listen, it will not only be in their lives. It will be in the lives of their children and their children, generation after generation, unless they stop it. And it can stop when God intervenes and begins to reveal to a person what is going on in their life. I would like to talk for a moment about a process. Remember this word. If you heard me say process, say Amen. Because what we are talking about is something that is not overcome today, tomorrow, or by going to a counselor, and two weeks later, or not. The emotional wounds are deep. They are very painful wounds. People carry that pain for years and years, and some all their lives. Many others live with this pain and die with it. And some will live with frustration, anxiety, and anger inside that they have not handled. And what happens is that they say, you know, yes, I had a good father, I know he was good, because they do not want to blame him for saying, my father was a tyrant. Sometimes yes, but sometimes no. So what does a father do? I can tell you. I will give you a suggestion about the process of being reconnected with your children, of connecting again. So let's think about this.

The first step to taking the initiative is to verbally express your love for your son or daughter. What do I mean? Just say, I want you to know, son, that I love you. Your father loves you. A lot of difference if the child feels loved. But it must start with the father saying, I love you. Good. The first time you have the courage to say it, perhaps say, I just want to ... And you know what? Maybe it won't come out. You know why? Because he has kept it and repressed it for so long that he doesn't even know how to say it. I understand it. And God understands it. It's okay. You know what? He will achieve it. His goal is to express love. If he takes those five letters, I love you, and puts a little emotion on it, does he understand that it could change the whole destiny of his son? I love you. Let me ask a question. How many here don't want to be loved? Right? Everyone here wants to be loved. Who needs it? Everyone. And that little boy in particular. And when he grows up, whether he is 1, or 3, or 16, or 23, or 43, 53, 70, 83, I haven't seen anyone say, I don't want to be loved.

No. You know why? Because God created us to be loved. And then the next thing to do, one of the steps to take is to discover how to love that child. Well, the Bible says, direct the child on the right path. Not every child is taught in the same way. Not everyone has the same personality. And the parents will say, you know what? I don't understand any of this. I have four children. Three are saints, and one is a rebel. I don't understand it. You know what? Don't waste your time trying to understand. Because that doesn't mean you failed as a father. Each person reacts in a different way. So we must ask ourselves, ask this question, how do I express love to my son or my daughter? Well, look at what we do. Sometimes we think, this is what I know about expressing love. And so we interpret what it is to love for us. What can be an expression of love that reaches me, maybe it's not an expression of love that reaches my son or daughter. And how is love expressed? I'll give you five words. I didn't make them up, but they're totally true. How is love expressed? Words. I love you. Although it hurts to say it or not, I love you. That's the first thing.

I love you. The second is gifts. You'll say, what do you mean by gifts? Well, there's nothing wrong with giving something to a child. We express love by giving. Third, quality time. And I don't necessarily go in order. Quality time. Sometimes the only thing the child wants is, he just wants all your attention, because attention says, I'm important to my father. I remember that my children were looking for me late when I was studying, and sometimes at 11 and 30 at night, no matter what I did, I interrupted them. I wanted to hear what was in his mind and heart, and I learned to do it through plasmas. And one day, one of them spoke to me and said, Dad, you're not listening. I said, no, no, you're right. He gave me a lesson. Do you think a child doesn't know when we connect and when we don't? You don't have to say, I can't hear you. All you have to do is be disinterested, disconnected. Think about this. Words, quality time, gifts, serving them. And do you know what he told me this morning? A big-bodied man came after work and said, you know, he said, I used to be a dad, like the one he mentions. And he said, then I decided I was going to serve my children. He's a big man. He said, he said, I decided to be a servant.

And I thought, I'm so proud of him that I want to hug him. I'm going to be a servant. Not a big, muscular male. I want to be a servant. And then, of course, contact. There's nothing like hugging your son, hugging your daughter with all the purity, kissing his cheek, and saying, I love you. There's nothing like contact. We're talking about connection. You'll have to decide which of those words suits your children. If you want to start reconnecting. If you want to start building this incredible bridge between you and your children. And then something else, and that is, you have to be transparent. You have to be willing to say, you know what? I was wrong. You have to be honest and transparent. You have to see, look, a child, look, a child must notice his wound. Maybe he feels hurt by what he's done to him, you know what? The child will identify with his wound because you regret what you did to him. That has a great effect to rebuild that incredible bridge. And if you say, I know I made some mistakes, and I ask you to forgive me, and that you know that I love you, and I see you, son, you know what? It's a total disconnection. It has nothing to do with emotion at all. There must be an emotional connection. And that emotional connection will not occur until there is transparency. Look at the following. Because this is what I said at the beginning. I said this is what? I said this idea is a what?

Process. The following is, prepare for rejection. Prepare for rejection. Because they will often say, well, I wonder what he wants. What is he up to? Or, I've heard that before. Or, I don't think so. Nobody changes so fast. So prepare for rejection. You can't be. What do you believe in? But they are so hurt that they don't feel it. They would like to feel their love but they can't. They are so hurt that they can't feel it. Prepare for rejection. Then, of course, pray and ask God to help you. God, teach me to connect with my children, to build this bridge. Teach me to reconnect with my daughter. Teach me to reconnect with my son. And the last thing I'll say is just this. See this. Believe that you will succeed. Because that is exactly what God has done with us all our lives. Connect with us. Work in our lives in such a way that shows us how much he loves us. That he forgives us. That he understands us all. That he will not reprimand us. That he will not punish us. Discipline, yes, but no punishment.

He will not burst with anger against us. He will not discard us. He will not throw us away. He will not leave us abandoned for nothing. He loves us. He understands us. And he always builds that bridge in our favor. You know what? We can ask God to allow us to reconnect. Build a bridge in this precious relationship that we can have with our children and daughters. God is on his side to achieve it. How does all this begin? Everything begins by seeking to connect with God. When you ask the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive your sins, to admit your mistakes, and understand that you have been so disconnected, the Bible says that there is a great abyss, a space between you and God. Listen carefully. God wants to close the gap. And he will make it possible for both to be one forgiveness. His sins, and Christ will live inside him, helping him to become the man God wants him to be. It's a choice, a decision he makes. We call it being saved, receiving the forgiveness of sins. And I encourage him, if he has never done it, to do it now, this simple prayer. Father, I urgently need the forgiveness of my sins. I have ruined it, God. I believe Christ went to the cross and died for my sins, and I ask you to forgive me on the basis of his death,

so that I can be a son of God and be the kind of devout father, or devout mother, or devout person that you want me to be. He will answer that prayer whenever I do it. And something else. This is a message to think about, it's a process, but the key is not to give up. Father, be what you are.