Cómo forjar relaciones sólidas

The Son of God, the Lord Jesus Christ, said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me. Therefore, go around the world teaching and preaching the gospel to every creature, to the end of the earth. En Contacto, the ministry of biblical teaching of Dr. Charles Stanley. Today on En Contacto, how to forge solid relationships. Do you know how many genuine, loyal, affectionate, and true friends you have? You may say, I have many, but how many of them are loyal, devoted, genuine, and truly devout? Most people wouldn't even have five true friends. I don't mean occasional friendships. Those friendships can be many. Occasional friendships are usually forged lightly, but friendships that are true, loyal, and affectionate are not very common. They don't arrive lightly. It takes time to consolidate them. And one of the reasons why there aren't many is because, initially, we are not willing to spend time cultivating that kind of relationship. Secondly, we don't find people to trust, our life, being transparent to speak openly about our feelings, our needs, or how we feel about various things that often cause conflicting relationships. So, when thinking about your friendships, let me tell you something simple. If you have friends who are truly affectionate, devoted, loyal, and unconditional, you will have one of the most valuable resources in your life. And because they are so precious in your life, you have to take care of them. It takes time, it requires effort, and even energy, and very often someone will say, I don't have friends, but I would like to have them. So the question is, try to cultivate friendships, try to cultivate relationships, or just wait for that to happen. You see, occasional friendships are common. Genuine, loyal, and committed friendships are not.

They are not found, they are forged, and the quality of the material we put in that friendship will determine its duration and its level of satisfaction. And often, we are in a hurry, we don't want to dedicate time or effort, and yet we want those friendships, but they are not achieved. So I wish we could think about this whole idea, because when thinking about friendships, about this, one of the first things God said is that after having created Adam, he saw around him that absolutely perfect garden, and when he observed Adam alone, he said, It is not good that man is alone. Now, when the Bible speaks of man, it usually refers to the human being, at least in certain passages. Certainly, it is not good that man is alone, or that woman is alone. That is what God said. In fact, he was so convinced of this that he gave Eve to Adam. In other words, God wanted Adam to establish a relationship, to forge a friendship. So he created Eve. God created us for relationships, for companionship, and for friendship. It is not good that we live alone. I think that anyone who lives alone would say that, although perhaps God has given us a sense of satisfaction and complacency, it is not good to be alone for many reasons. God knew that, so he made a whole preparation. Let's think, for example, in the Bible. How many servants of God throughout the years were surrounded by friends? For example, in fact, the Bible says that God said that Abraham was a friend. He was Abraham's friend. And remember that Moses had Aaron and Joshua as intimate friends, and they helped him.

Remember that David had Jonathan, but also many other loyal friends who would have given their lives for him. And of course, we all remember Daniel, the prophet Daniel, and his three very loyal friends, Sadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They were such good friends of Daniel that they were willing to risk their lives for a conviction that he had, and they shared. And the Lord Jesus Christ had his friends in the twelve disciples. And he knew them, loved them, and them to him. And among those twelve, three were very close friends. Peter, Satan, and John were not favorites, but intimate. Then the apostle Paul, when reading the epistles, we discover that the apostle Paul had or numerous friends, and he would say, please tell Lucas to come see me, or Timothy, or whoever it may have been. He had several friends and much to say about them because they were very important to him. In fact, one of the most valuable resources we can have is a loyal, devoted, and faithful friend, and if we don't have him, something will be missing in our life. So I would like to ask him, can he see in his life today and say, well, yes, I have one, two, three friends like that. If he has three of those kinds of friends, he's really very, very blessed. And what I want to talk about in this message is, listen, I want to talk about building solid friendships. There are all kinds of relationships, all kinds of friendships, but how to cultivate solid friendships, those friendships that make a difference in our lives and, in the same way, change the lives of those we make friends with.

So I invite you to look for a single verse in Proverbs chapter 18, and I want us to read verse 24. Let me explain it for a moment. Verse 24 of Proverbs chapter 18, and this is what the Bible says. The Bible says that a man, and let me explain this. When the Bible talks about a man, it refers to a man or a woman. It's like when it says there was a time and it refers to the human being, that is, men or women. Listen to this. El hombre que tiene amigos ha demostrarse amigo. Pero usted dirá, pues, ¿qué querrá decir eso? Pareciera que mientras más amigos tenga mejor, pero escuche lo que dice. El hombre que tiene amigos ha demostrarse amigo, y amigo hay más un nido que un hermano de sangre. Amigo hay más un nido que un hermano de sangre. Hay otra versión que dice, hay amigos que llevan a la ruina. ¿Qué quiere decir? La palabra ruina, aquí se refiere a afectarse tanto que queda destrozado. Cuando la gente llega a la ruina es que se han afectado tanto que se hicieron pedazos. Esto es lo que se refiere. Y una persona que tiene tantos y tantos amigos

que sus amistades son amplias, pero no profundas. O sea, cuando hay una dificultad, ellos se van. Y dice cuando esto pasa, no tienen a nadie en quien confiar, ningún amigo genuino en quien afianzarse. Cuando las cosas se ponen feas se van y dejan al supuesto amigo hecho trizas. ¿Tiene un amigo que le respaldará sin importar qué pase? Estoy agradecido de contar con muchos amigos que me respaldarán sin condición. Siempre están de acuerdo conmigo, no. Ellos me aman, sí. Son amigos genuinos, leales, entregados, confiables, sí. Y en todas las dificultades y privaciones en mi vida, esta gente ha estado a mi lado y permanecido allí sin importar nada. Amigos genuinos, cariñosos, leales, entregados. A mucha gente le cuesta conseguir tres de esa clase de amigos en su vida. Así que me nace la pregunta, ¿por qué no tengo más amigos? ¿Cómo cultivo esa clase de amistades devotas? Esas amistades que en verdad satisfacen, esa clase de amistades en las que sentimos la dedicación, sentimos el amor, la aceptación. Nos encanta su compañía, tiene algo que afianza nuestra alma. Hablo de este tipo de amistades. Bien, de eso deseo hablar en este mensaje y quiero que pensemos por un momento en toda esta idea. Sin duda, es el plan de Dios

que cada uno de nosotros tengamos amigos cercanos y genuinos. Así no sean muchos, al menos algunos. Amigos cercanos, varios amigos cercanos, pero será un grupo bastante exiguo, muy pequeño de uno o dos o quizás tres o incluso más si se le hace posible. Amigos cercanos y genuinos. Y deseo hablar de lo que se requiere para lograrlo. Y cuando pensamos en esa clase de amigos y se piensa en lo que dijo el Señor cuando mencionó, no es bueno que el hombre esté solo, Dios pretendía que forjáramos, cultiváramos, entabláramos esa clase de relaciones para apoyarnos en nuestra vida. ¿Qué pasa en una amistad? Lo que sucede en una amistad es que podemos crecer espiritualmente porque tras cultivar esa intimidad, podemos abrir nuestro corazón. Podemos decir, sí, pero no entiendo lo que Dios está haciendo en mi vida. Y con frecuencia, Dios ayudará a la otra persona y le dará intuición para ayudarle a entender lo que usted está sintiendo porque lo está sintiendo lo que está pasando en su vida. Así que hay demasiadas y valiosas recompensas en desarrollar amistades sólidas, amistades sabias. Y quiero repetirlo. Uno de los recursos más valiosos que se pueden tener en la vida

son esas amistades leales, escuche, amistades dedicadas que Dios ha puesto en nuestra vida y que hemos cultivado y que hemos alcanzado. Y Dios las ha forjado tanto en sus vidas como en la nuestra. Ahora, la gran pregunta es, ¿cómo hacemos para forjar esa clase de relaciones? ¿Cómo entablar esa clase de amistad con alguien? Pues quiero volver a decir, recuerde, que muy a menudo nuestro trasfondo influyó en el trato que nos dieron. No siempre tiene que ser en la infancia, sino en el trato que nos han dado siendo adultos. El trato que nos han dado en el pasado a menudo influye mucho en nuestra capacidad de forjar adecuadamente unas relaciones sabias y amistades sólidas. Así que lo que deseo hacer es darle una lista de cosas que sé que les serán útiles. Y solo quisiera ponerlo de esta manera, y es que forjamos amistades, escuche, forjamos amistades sólidas cuando, ahora le daré una lista de cosas, forjamos amistades sólidas cuando compartimos, escuche, un profundo interés en común. O sea, tenemos un interés mutuo, sin duda, todos los creyentes tenemos un maravilloso interés mutuo, ahora, si quieren tablar una relación o una amistad sólida, ese interés común como creyentes siempre debería, sin duda, ser el Señor Jesucristo. Si tiene una relación o amistad en la que nunca puede mencionar su nombre sin que la otra persona se sienta incómoda, objete un poco o le diga, no me presiones, algo anda mal en esa relación, a no ser que esta relación se haya establecido para llevar a esa persona a Cristo, eso es de entender. Pero si hablamos de entablar relaciones leales, dedicadas, amistades amorosas, primero que nada debe comenzar con un gran interés mutuo de las cosas que tienen en común. Luego, esto es algo muy importante, podemos forjar, escuche, podemos forjar esa clase de amistades sólidas cuando, escuche, cuando, y esto es muy importante porque debemos tener muy claro ese momento, cuando esa amistad se basa en que yo supla sus necesidades y no supla las mías. Es decir, si mi amistad se basa en lo que yo necesito, requiero de la otra persona,

es probable que esa amistad no llegue muy lejos. Ahora, creo que Dios quiere llevarnos a todos al lugar donde Él es suficiente en absoluto en nuestra vida, entonces, sé que en mi propia vida, por ejemplo, ya he vivido lo suficiente, y durante varios años, solo, sé que Dios sabe cómo y Él puede llevarnos al punto en la vida, y escuche con atención, en el cual no nos sintamos dependientes, no necesitemos a nadie, no quiero decir que no necesitemos a la gente, sino no ser dependientes para que nuestras relaciones y amistades no se basen en, necesito esto, te necesito, lo necesito a él, la necesito a ella, porque esa clase de relaciones con frecuencia no suelen durar mucho, pero el Señor Jesucristo en nuestra vida puede llevarnos a un punto de absoluta y completa, escuche, suficiencia, idoneidad, integridad y satisfacción en Él, para que luego podamos forjar amistades muy sólidas, maravillosas, sabias, vigorizantes y motivadoras, porque no se basan en la necesidad, sino que se basan en cómo podemos ayudar a esa persona y suplir sus necesidades, cómo puedo, cómo puedo ser la persona que ellos necesitan que sea, así que hay una diferencia entre forjar una amistad basada en ese sentimiento de dependencia, te necesito, y el sentimiento de tengo que tenerte, y una libertad de todo eso que hace posible que forjemos amistades y relaciones sólidas, piadosas, satisfactorias, fructíferas, amenas y puras. Y algo muy importante, si queremos forjar amistades sólidas, debemos recordar que no puede basarse únicamente en qué pueden hacer por mí, sino en qué puedo hacer por ellos, verá, le diré cómo saber si usted es libre, puede medir y es un buen barómetro para sus amistades, soy, soy amigo de ellos porque los necesito, porque creo que Dios puede usarme para brindarle algo en su vida, mire, no puede forjar amistades sólidas y duraderas si siempre necesita algo de ellos, cuando es libre de dependencias, usted puede dar y dar y dar, porque la verdad es que cuando se tiene una amistad sólida, esto lo quiere ofrecer, una persona dependiente casi siempre está del lado que recibe, pueden volverse muy delicados, muy sensibles y con frecuencia de la nada se ofenden por ser tan dependientes, porque lo que sucede, lo que sucede es que su mundo los ha derrotado y esa dependencia emocional los controla, Dios no quiere eso, y yo le diría a cualquiera que esté pensando en casarse, asegúrese el número uno. that he is not marrying a person who is very emotionally dependent, because, listen carefully, if you listen to me I say Amen.

I knew you would say Amen to this. Because, listen carefully, no man can meet all the needs of a woman. And no woman will meet the needs of a man because only Christ can do that. He will use the other person and work through them to meet his material, physical, emotional, or any other type of needs. He will use them in part for that, but definitely no person can meet our needs. So if you are a dependent person and that is why you are planning to get married, you will end up in trouble. That is why when someone divorces and after three months is with someone else and after six months they get married again, without letting the years pass, what happens is that one bounces on the other and charges the other person with their emotional dependence and all it does is duplicate the problem. Likewise, if we want to forge this kind of relationship and we want to forge this kind of friendship, we have to assume the risk of rejection and pain. Without a doubt we will have it, because we are all human and this happens. Two people can love each other or two people can have a good relationship and one of the two will do something that the other will see as rejection. Or they will think, hey, you didn't think about me, I didn't care about you. And they will feel pain. Listen, if you are waiting to find someone who doesn't cause you any pain, who doesn't make you feel rejected, whose life is such that it will never hurt you, you will never have a relationship. Because Jesus Christ, for example, caused the apostle Peter great pain when he said, Peter, you are acting like Satan.

That must have been painful for the others. So, therefore, when forging these relationships and solid and close friendships, we have to be willing to suffer a little pain and misunderstanding and some rejection. Do you want to forge relationships and solid friendships? Just listen. When we do it, when we decide to do it, it is possible when we love in a sacrificial way. Loving with abnegation means that I can give without expecting anything in return. It means, in any case, giving even if I have needs without having to mention them. It means that I can put myself in second place. When I disagree, I can easily condescend to doing what is necessary. It means that loving with abnegation is being willing to give my life, to put my needs and desires aside to be able to please and make the other person happy and give them joy and satisfaction in their life. So, when someone is forging solid relationships and solid friendships, he is willing and can love with abnegation. In other words, they don't always have to get away with it. Even if they sometimes think they're right, they don't have to get away with it. He is willing to give in. If he wants to have that kind of relationship, he must be willing to be open and transparent. What do I mean by that? It's very simple. If he wants to cultivate a relationship with someone, he has to open his heart. He must be willing to say, You know, let me tell you how I feel. Without worrying about whether the other person will react badly or not. Be transparent and say, I'll open up. I'll be honest about my feelings, about what I think, how I think, why I thought, why I did this. Maybe the other person will question it, but you know what? If you expect someone to always agree with you, that's not friendship. Friends are willing to confront.

Genuine friends confront us in love. They confront us with the idea of building the other person, to strengthen them, consolidate them, to help them see their relationship with God and help them understand what is best for their life. You see, forging that kind of friendship requires effort. It also requires energy and being willing to open our hearts. I have tried to forge friendships with a couple of people in my life with whom I opened my heart. I opened up my spirit, my soul, all my being. I did it without reserve. And not once did they open their hearts, not a single hole. Now, the tragic thing about people who act like this is that they do not realize that by excluding someone, they isolate themselves in their own loneliness. I feel sorry for those who feel alone. in a very small world for fear of rejection, fear of more rejection, fear of more wounds, more pain, you know what? You will not get out of behind that wall until you are willing to take a risk. Will you be hurt? Yes. Will it hurt? Yes. Rejection? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes. But you have to be willing to go out. You have to be willing to open up and say, you know, I'm imperfect, this happened to me in my life, and I need help, I need understanding, I need your prayers. Then, if we want to forge that kind of, that kind of close friendships, happy relationships, we must be, listen, we must be willing to serve the other person with pleasure.

You know what? If you have a true friend and you want to be a true friend and forge genuine friendships, mutual service is part of it. If you are one of those people who is always on the receiving end and that is what you like, you will never have true, genuine, intimate, loyal, committed, unconditional, lasting friendships. That's not how it works. What a beautiful way to forge a lasting friendship, when we are challenged and motivated to edify the other person in their spiritual life. When can we, if we really want to, forge genuine and lasting friendships? We can do it when the biblical principles dictate the relationship. When the biblical principles dictate our relationship. Now that would eliminate many things in people's lives. If they said, you know, I want to be your friend and I'm interested in forging a friendship, and we are going to decide from the beginning that the principles of God's word will govern our relationship, will dictate what we can say and how we react to each other, will influence our conduct, our behavior, in public and in private, will govern every aspect of our life because we want a pleasant relationship to God, and when we can say or when we decide to forge a relationship dictated by the principles of God's word, it will undoubtedly be a wonderful, loving, loyal, committed, incomparable, indescribable, and immeasurable relationship that will give us the greatest sense of satisfaction, joy, peace, and happiness in life, no matter what happens. Your greatest resource is that kind of friends, and remember this, they are not cheap, they do not arrive lightly, and they require some time. If you are not willing to invest time or effort, you will not forge lasting friendships, but if you are, it will be a great resource in your life that will give you a lot of joy. Now I want to talk about a particular friendship. I want to talk about the most important friendship that we can have, and it is our friendship with Jesus Christ. He told his disciples in John chapter 15, verse 15, they are my friends.

Not only were they his friends, you know what? Each of us too. Lord Jesus Christ wants to forge a friendship with us, and it is interesting that after the first service, a young woman came up to me and said, how do I see Jesus as my friend, and at the same time as the supreme sovereign of the universe? How do I see it that way? To which I simply said, you know, I can recognize that he is the sovereign of the universe. He is the sovereign of the universe who is so great, so glorious, so powerful, so wonderful, and so loving that when I call to him, he can hear me personally. When I speak to him, all his sovereignty does not separate us, but leads me to have unity with him. It is possible to have a close, loving, satisfactory, pleasant, and eternal relationship with the Son of God. And remember this, this relationship is forged in his unconditional love for us. In his continuous forgiveness towards us. Listen, in his, listen, his eternal plan for us. So, when we forge a friendship with Christ, it is eternal. It is forever. And whatever happens, that friendship will never dissolve. I want to ask you, if you have not accepted Christ as your Savior, no matter how many friends you have, there will always be an emptiness in your heart. That space will always be empty in your life, because that space was created for Christ to occupy it. The best friend we ever had. You can ask him, Lord Jesus, forgive my sins. I do believe that your death on the cross paid all my debt of sin. I ask that you forgive me, and I accept you as my Savior, my Lord, my Master. And, without a doubt, I want you to be my friend." Do you know how long it will take him to do that? What takes me so long to do this?

He is ready to forge a relationship with you that will give him eternal satisfaction, and that will last forever. Lord Jesus, when you think how loving you are, even when we are so difficult to love, you do not change. When our life is not what it should be, you are still working to make it what you want it to be. I ask that every person who hears this message, who does not know you personally, as a friend, Savior, Lord, and Master, be willing to say this prayer, Lord Jesus, forgive my sins. I believe that your death, your sacrifice on the cross, made it possible for me to be forgiven, so I ask that you save me. Father, I ask you for those who fight in their friendships, those who have bad relationships, that you use this message to make them think soberly and seriously about those relationships, to make them what they should be. We ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.