Chris' Testimony

My name is Christopher. I'm a grateful believer and follower of Jesus Christ who celebrates recovery from chemical addiction and criminal behavior. I still struggle with procrastination, selfishness, and self-centered fears. If you would please help me open up with a word of prayer. Dear Heavenly Father, we're so grateful to know you. We're so grateful that we can call you Father. You're not only our God, you are also our Father, and we are your children, and you love each and every one of us. And I just want to thank you so much for infiltrating our lives and giving us new hearts and new minds. I pray for the hearts of everyone that hears this testimony, Father, that you would penetrate their heart and give them a new heart and a new mind, just like you did me. And we will always tell people about you and give you the honor and the glory and praise. It's in Jesus' name that I pray. Amen. I want to make it clear that I do not blame anyone for the events or outcome of my life. I take full responsibility for my poor decisions and the consequences that ensued. This is a testimony about a God who loves us all and about a God that never gives up on us, no matter how far we stray or how many times we rebel against Him. It's about a God who still performs miracles and who is always patiently waiting for us to turn to Him so that He can love on us, heal us, and restore us back to sanity. 1 Peter 5.10 says, And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. I was born on January 31st, 1985 in Metairie, Louisiana. I had two very loving parents. I had one older brother. I was raised Catholic. I went to Catholic schools. I went through Confirmation, First Communion, and eventually became an altar boy. My earliest childhood memories were filled with happiness and joy. Both of my parents were very loving and affectionate, but I always felt the closest to my dad. He was very energetic and adventurous, much like I am today. Little did I know, though, was my dad was using drugs and drinking, and eventually those things would take a hold of his life. There was a major storm brewing spiritually, and chaos and disaster was about to shatter my family and my childhood. You see, although my dad was a functioning addict, his drug use got worse, and he began having affairs on my mom. One day my mom found out about the affairs, and that's when literally all hell broke loose in our house, and my family began to be ripped apart. My parents went through a very nasty, violent, and drawn-out divorce that left me angry, confused, but most of all, my little heart was broken. It ended when my dad seemingly vanished when I was nine years old. I can remember crying and shouting at God, asking Him why He had let this happen to our family. At this point, I began to rebel against God, the world, and everyone in it. I barely skated by in school, was constantly sent to the principal's office, started smoking cigarettes, breaking into cars, and hanging out with other troubled kids that were around my age. It was easier to fit in with the kids who were troubled like I was. I was making D's and F's in school, which eventually led to me being diagnosed with ADHD, and I was prescribed Adderall, which temporarily corrected some of the behavior issues, and I did start to do better, but it was only a band-aid for something that Jesus needed to perform surgery on.

My life was still headed in the wrong direction. I was acting out my anger in unhealthy ways because I didn't know how to express it. I began stealing things, breaking into cars around the age of 14. I had a few run-ins with the police. My mom did eventually meet a man, and they were married. He had one son who was much older than me and a few years older than my brother. That brother, my stepbrother, would throw parties when our parents went out of town. Everyone seemed to be having a great time getting drunk and high, so I too began to mimic the behavior that I saw them do. I can remember the first time I got drunk. I finally felt relief from the anger and sadness, and I felt like I fit in with everybody. I never wanted the party to stop, and this would literally continue until my early 30s. I'm sure a lot of you can relate to that mindset. Ephesians 5.18 says, Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit. You see, I had a huge hole in my heart that I was filling with things that only made them worse. Only a relationship with God and being filled with the Holy Spirit could ever heal me and make me whole again. But I had never been taught these things growing up Catholic. I learned other very unhealthy behaviors from my older brothers, just like with drugs and alcohol. I mimicked other things that I saw them do. I went from one unhealthy relationship to the next, where sex was the primary focus. I had major relationship issues because I was very selfish and self-centered. I began selling pot at the age of 15. 16, got kicked out of school in my parents' house at the age of 16, and got a girl pregnant when I was 17. Her dad forced us to marry to keep up the Catholic image. I was in no way ready to be a husband or a dad, and that ended in less than a year. When my daughter was born, I felt true love for someone else for the very first time in a long time. I wanted to be a father, but my demons eventually would get the best of me. Psalm 81.12 says, So I gave them over to the stubbornness of their heart to walk in their

own devices. I did have a job, but selling drugs attracted a lot of friends and made me feel like I was important to people, so I was addicted to the lifestyle just as much as I was to drugs and alcohol. My addictions were escalating as well as my criminal behavior becoming more frequent. My unwanted sexual behaviors caused me to use and mistreat people, and I had multiple run-ins with the police during these years. I had stolen many times before, but linked up with some guys while I was in jail that taught me about breaking into houses. This gave me a crazy rush, much like drugs and alcohol, and became an addiction. Proverbs 13.20 says, Walk with the wise and you will become wise, but a companion of fools suffers much harm, and how true that is. I got a phone call from my stepdad one night saying he couldn't find my mom. I was terrified that something had happened to her. We found out she had gone back to my biological father, which shocked everyone. He had gotten saved and was involved in church and ministry, and from the things I had seen him do during the divorce and the things I had heard about him, I could tell that he experienced something that was real, and I was very curious about what that was. This led me to really seek God and dig into His Word, and eventually I asked Jesus to come into my life and to be Lord over it. I was called into the ministry when I was 19, however, I was not ready to surrender everything to God. I had not yet died to myself. After I had walked out on my wife and daughter, I would eventually get another girl pregnant, but avoided taking any responsibility until my parents found out and talked some sense into me. We met and eventually got married. We had a son and four years later had a daughter. We met using, drinking, and partying, and that's the lifestyle that we continued. A buddy of mine told me about a sales position and said I would be good at it.

What he was saying is you're a really good manipulator and liar, and you would be great at sales. He was right. I got the job and was promoted quickly up the corporate ladder to be in the marketing manager. I was offered a job in Atlanta, and I was not ready to live in Atlanta. I got caught up in the corporate world, began having affairs with my wife, just like my dad did, and was drinking and using cocaine on occasions. I became a very arrogant and selfish man, thinking very little, if any, about others. I was completely miserable and depressed on the inside. I had everything that the world says a man should have, but I was spiritually bankrupt and empty. I was using cocaine, drinking, going to strip clubs, and eventually I began smoking crack. I crashed a company vehicle while I was drunk and high, and literally lost everything in the blink of an eye. Mark 8.36 says, For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, but lose his own soul? Once again, as always, the Bible is 100% correct. Proverbs 23 says, Don't wear yourself out trying to get rich. Riches disappear in the blink of an eye. I was blind to what was important in life. I was still searching to fill a hole that God, only God himself, could fill. We moved back to Montgomery. I continued to destroy friendships and relationships. I was loyal to absolutely no one. The next 10 years were filled with homelessness, rehabs, jails, and eventually I ended up in prison. I was headed for death or a life sentence. In 2017, I was offered a life sentence under the Habitual Offender Act in the state of Alabama.

My wife finally, after 11 years, tired of all the chaos, left me during one of my extended stays in jail. I was not allowed to speak to or see our kids, and this was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I finally hit rock bottom. The words of the prodigal son rang out in my heart. I will set out and go back to my father and say to him, Father, I've sinned against you and against heaven. I'm no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants. So I got up and I went to my father. I was ready to surrender everything at this point. I was given a Celebrate Recovery Bible, and I knew that God wanted me to put my whole heart into these steps, so that's exactly what I did. One night while studying the Bible, I dropped to my knees and literally cried out to God and completely surrendered my life for the first time. After two failed marriages, a total of three kids I was not allowed to see, 21 felonies, and about seven years of incarceration, I finally surrendered. I was all at once filled with warmth and peace, tears of joy streamed down my face, and the hunger I had for God's Word when I was younger came back even stronger than before. I couldn't get enough of it. It was the food that I'd always been searching for. I heard God say in my spirit, why must you kick against the pricks? I remember how God had called me many years earlier to ministry, and how He finally had me right where He wanted me, broken, humbled, and surrendered, which is a very beautiful place to be. I began to prayerfully work the 12 steps to celebrate recovery with a sponsor, and God began to remove some of my character defects. I noticed changes in my thinking and my behavior. I had a spiritual experience as a result of working these steps, and I was all in.

This was really working. I was learning about God's true nature and found out how much He loves each of us, no matter how bad we have been, and truly wants a relationship with us all. As my relationship with Him grew stronger, I began being restored to sanity. For the first time in a long time, I was excited about the future and my journey with God. After I graduated Step Study, I began to lead Step Studies while I was still in jail, teaching other broken men the things I had learned and experienced. I knew that this was my purpose, to go and make disciples, and it brought me a lot of joy and contentment to do so. When you come to God, there is still a process that you have to go through. You must choose to die to yourself every single day. I was eventually released, and within a week relapsed, and immediately I felt like a failure. Thank God I had a sponsor, and I learned about rigorous honesty, and I knew that this was the key to my freedom. I called my sponsor, we met, and I told him what had happened, and his exact words were, well, at least you didn't shoot up. It could have been a lot worse. Something about the fact that he didn't condemn or scold me set me free in a new way. The shame and the guilt almost immediately left, and I knew I was going to make it. I got into a halfway house called Absolutions, got a job, and was attending celebrate recovery meetings faithfully, and although there were many trials and challenges, my life was headed in a positive direction for the first time in a very long time. Although many bad things have happened in my life, God used all of this for good, just like Romans 8, 28 says, God will cause all things, both good and bad, to work for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. I was finally able to forgive myself as well as others, just like CR teaches. My peace and joy was restored. CR has been more than just a recovery program for me from drugs and alcohol. It has been a sanctification process for dummies, which I'm definitely one of those. I'm still very much a work in progress.

I've gone through nine step studies and lead them now. I'm leading one at this moment, but I'm definitely not the man that I used to be. God has restored my relationship with two of my kids. I have a Proverbs 31 wife whom I love dearly and has been a huge encouragement to me in my journey. I am financially stable and have been sober since November 19, 2017 from drugs and September 5, 2018 from alcohol. God has allowed me to serve as a CR ministry leader with my wife. I also serve as a state rep for the southeast region of Alabama. I go into the jails and do CRI with the fellows that are incarcerated there. My wife and I have a homeless ministry where we connect with the broken and lost on the streets who can't make it to church. I'm an elder in my church. I teach Sunday school class. I've learned to die to myself daily and to keep God first in everything that I do. Matthew 633 says, but seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. I've learned that resentments, unforgiveness, and bitterness are tools that Satan uses to destroy God's children and our relationships. I daily seek God's will for my life, and although I fall short, my greatest desire is to do what God requires. I have many life verses, but for this ministry, it's Matthew 10-6. But go rather to the lost sheep, and as you go, preach, saying, the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you've received, freely give. To the newcomer, keep coming back. I know that God has a plan and a purpose for your life, and I pray that you find it now. Join a step study. Find an area where you can get involved and serve.

It may feel uncomfortable at first, but things do get better over time. I highly encourage you to spend quiet time with God every single day to listen for His voice. Talk to Him about everything. The ultimate goal of all of this is to reestablish your relationship with God the Father and with those around you. My favorite step is step 11. We saw through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for the knowledge of His will. for us and the power to carry it out. All the steps are important, and you should do them in order, but I contribute most to who I am today to this one step. We do not serve a speechless and powerless God, but a mighty God who is able to save us if we will only cry out to Him and make a complete surrender of our life to Him. God bless you all, and thank you for letting me share.