Building A Godly Marriage | Jared Nieman | City Light Church

Hey, what's up, everybody? Javen here, and we are about to jump into God's Word, and I am believing that it is going to be a blessing to you, a blessing to your world, a blessing to your life. The Bible says that at the entrance of God's Word, it brings light, it brings revelation and understanding, and I believe that's going to happen for you today in Jesus' name. Just before we go to the Word, our team is asking all the time for you to like and subscribe and hit the notification bell, all the things. I guess it helps with the algorithm. I don't know what the algorithm is, but I guess it's real, and that would help us, and it would help us get the Word of God to you. I also want to thank all of you for your financial support. Thank you for helping us bring the beautiful message of the gospel of the Lord Jesus right here to Las Vegas, the most unchurched city and the most unchurched state in America. We are doing everything we can to win souls and make disciples, raising up the next generation right here in Vegas, and if you are looking for good ground to sow into, this is it. If you want to help us reach more and more people for the Lord, this is a great place to do it. For you who are already giving, thank you. It means the world to us. I love you so much. Come on, let's jump into God's Word. Hey, today we're going to talk about building a godly marriage, and we need godly marriages. We need marriages that are a city on a hill of the light of the world, and I just want to say to all the single people, I want to encourage you to value yourself enough to know that you are worth never lowering your standards. If I could say anything to all the single people in here, do not marry the wrong person. The most important decision you will ever make in your life, other than choosing Jesus as your Lord and Savior, is the person you marry. And do not, do not, do not marry the wrong person. Value yourself enough to know that you are worth setting a standard, and understand that you are also worth not lowering the standard. Amen. And let me just say something, just because you're attracted to someone doesn't mean you should be dating them. Don't allow the excitement of physical attraction to blind you from incompatibility. Amen. Here, how about this? Just because they're a godly person doesn't mean they're God's person for you. Listen, I'm glad that they quote scripture, but the fact that they can quote Philippians 4 should not blind you from incompatibility. Amen. How about this? If they won't respect that you have godly boundaries while dating, they're not going to respect you once you're

married. No, you heard what I said. If they want you to give up your body and you're trying to do it right, and they won't respect you and they're pressuring you, and I'm not acting like it's easy, because it ain't easy. But if you're trying to set a godly standard while you're dating, so that you can make clear decisions about who you're dating and not be blinded by sex, and they won't respect that, if they don't respect you while you're dating, they're not going to respect you once you're married. Whatever you do, don't marry the wrong person. Guys, if she's more concerned about your paycheck than the quality of your character, you want to know why? Because she's not going to stand by you when times get tough. You marry a girl that is concerned about the quality of your character over your paycheck. Amen. Okay. That was just the intro. You know, I'm going to be real honest today, and I hope I have enough equity with you. I was counting last night. I think I've been here 15 times, and I could be wrong on that. Please don't go look it up. I don't care if I'm wrong. I'm estimating. But I've been here a lot. a lot. I've been here with you since before the church started. I was one of the pastors Jabin called and said, I have an idea while he was still living in Orange County. I've been with you in the original building, in all of the schools, in all the iterations of schedules we've had. I preached the sixth service Sunday one time and went to bed. And I hope I have enough equity that I can just speak truth to you today and understand that sometimes that truth is challenging and it will challenge ideologies that have come from the world system and even from bad preaching. And I hope you understand that I'm gonna speak the truth, but I'm speaking it to you in love,

in kindness and with respect because I want the best for your life. I want the best for your family. I want the best for your kids. I want the best for this church and for this city. Why? Because God wants the best for you. So I'm gonna ask you a question. Do you give me permission? All right, the rest of you are like, well, speak and then we'll see. We need godly marriages. We need godly men and godly women training up their children in the way they should go so when they're old, they will not depart from it. We cannot let the devil tear apart what God has brought together. And if we're gonna have godly marriages, then number one, we need to give Jesus the lordship of the house. Now, everybody amens that. One of the most famous scriptures in the Bible is when Joshua came out into the craziness of the behavior of his people and he said, you all do whatever you want, but as for me and my house, we serve the Lord. But dare I say that we have an issue in Christianity? And the issue is, is that we are rightly celebrating Jesus as our savior. You know what I mean, right?

Like, praise the Lord. My sins are forgiven. I'm not going to hell, I'm going to heaven. The old has passed away. All things have been made new. My shame and condemnation has been washed off of the burden of my life. I'm free from the curse of sin and death. Jesus died and rose again to make me a child of God. Praise the Lord. And we should praise the Lord. Because that is the end game. But we have far too many believers who are celebrating the amazing grace of God. I don't get what I deserve. I don't get what God wants me to have, hallelujah. While simultaneously ignoring Jesus as Lord. But love your neighbor. Stop gossiping. That's right, that's right. Gluttony. Ooh, I'm going to poke some people. Tithing. Serving in church. Y'all, we're over here. Amazing grace. I'm so excited. It's the same time. But we won't let someone in the lane on the freeway. I mean,

city on a hill, light of the world. Like, let me in, bro. For God so loved Las Vegas, I just don't love you. Oh man. Now watch this. We have a total misunderstanding here. Now watch this. We have a total misperception in marriages. We read Ephesians 5.22 that says, wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife. and we think that the man is the ruler of the house. The problem is nobody reads verse 21. Verse 21 says that submitting to one another in the fear of the Lord. So a godly household looks like this. The man and the woman are mutually submitted to one another. Verse 31 says, for this reason a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife and the two become one. Well, how can one be above the other if the two are one? No, no, the two are one and the two are supposed to be mutually submitted to one another in the fear of the Lord. The fear of the Lord is an Old Testament term. Comes from the book of Proverbs. If you don't know, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. I think we all agree that we need wisdom in life to build godly households.

And the fear of the Lord is where wisdom starts. It's the starting place. It's the letter A to the alphabet. It's the beginning. And the fear of the Lord in the literal text means to live your life with a deep reverential sense of accountability to God. And the starting place of inviting God's wisdom, his peace, his joy, his happiness, his healing, his reconciliation into our lives and into our marriages and raising our kids for you single people, the starting place of having discretion of who you should date and who you should marry is to live in the fear of God. Which simply put is to say within your soul, I am going to follow and obey God to the best of my ability. God, if you say go, that's where I'm going. If you say to do, then that's what I'm gonna do. And if you say to be this type of person, then to the best of my ability, that's who I'm gonna be. I'm not gonna be 100% because I'm not Jesus. And that is why I need his amazing grace because I'll never be 100% at this. But the very fact that I can't be 100% of it does not excuse me from trying my best. And salvation is the confession of Jesus as my Lord. And Savior. It's not one or the other, it's both. Please hear me. The greatest gift you can ever give your spouse

is to not make them first in your soul. The greatest gift you can ever give your spouse is to put Jesus first. When God occupies first place, everything else falls into the right place. Marriage was never designed for men and women to carry the weight of a burden that they are not able to carry. When Jesus is not first, then we look to our husbands and our wives to heal wounds that we cannot heal. When Jesus is not first, we bring our trauma, our pain, our hurt, and our brokenness to a broken man or woman, and we expect brokenness to fix brokenness. And the only thing that happens is that we produce more brokenness. But when we put Jesus at the altar of our marriages, we allow the healing and the peace and the restoration and the recovery and the joy and the happiness of the Holy Spirit to heal wounds that man can never heal, to wash away regret and condemnation, and to carry burdens that no one is ever meant to carry. And then we look at each other and we can live in harmony together because Jesus is first. Jesus is carrying the burden. Oh my, we've been doing it wrong the entire time. See a life submitted to God is a life fulfilled by God. So if I'm looking for absolute fulfillment,

joy and peace from a person, I will always be disappointed. And then once you understand that Jesus is number one and we together are submitted to him, then number two, you can know your role and function in your purpose. So what is your role? Well, it shows it right here. Wives submit to your husbands. As to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church, and he's the savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to the Christ, let the wives be to their husbands and everything. Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and he gave himself for her, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. Verse 28, so husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Notice that this several verses of scripture addresses the husband seven times and the wives twice. This set of verses is important because it explains our functionality and it speaks directly to men. And so men, I wanna talk to you about what your role is in your marriage. Your role is not to be the boss. If you are the boss, then you will be limited by your own imperfection.

If you are the authority of the house, then you will be limited by your own talents, knowledge, and wisdom. Jesus, his word, and the Holy Spirit needs to be the authority of the house. But you are the head of the house. You're the head of your wife and you're the head of the kids. And as you're ready to be the head of the house, you're the head of the house. You're the head of the kids. And as you read here, you are the head of the house to the extent like Jesus is the head of the church. And you are to love your spouse and when relevant kids like Jesus loves the church. Let me ask you a question. What did Jesus do for the church? He died for it. See, men, you are the head of the house and that is a leadership role, but it's Christ-like leadership which means that it's sacrificial and it's filled with servanthood. You are the head of the house to the extent that like Jesus is the head of the church, meaning that you are ready, willing, and able to lay down your life as a denial of yourself for the benefit of your wife and your family. It is your job, men, to make sure that your house is serving the Lord.

It is your job, husband. It is your job, dad, to make sure that this house's spiritual well-being is rooted and grounded in the word of God. It is your job, men, to protect the house spiritually. It is your job, husband, to protect the house spiritually. And you are called on as a sacrificial leader of the house, meaning that my wife needs.