A New Definition | How to Happy | Twin Rivers Church

Grab something to take notes. This is definitely a note taker's message. In 2018, the registration for the semester at Yale University opened, and all of a sudden there was one class that got the attention of the administration because it saw a huge influx of people choosing it. It was Psych 157. Initially, 300 students signed up for it. Two days later, 600 students had signed up for it. Three more days later, 1,200 students had signed up for it. 1,200 students is roughly a fourth of the undergraduate population at Yale. What caused this surge of interest in Psych 157? Well, its title is The Psychology of Being Happy. Turned out that a lot of people are searching for what we're all searching for, which is this idea of how to happy. That's the name of our series. We're studying it for several weeks of just this endless search we have to try to find happiness, and maybe reimagining some of it. Today's an important message because today I want to give you a new definition for happiness, a new definition. One of the reminders that I am in my 40s is that when my kids, especially my teenagers, talk to me, I usually have to get a dictionary. They, being part of Gen Z, use some language

that I am unfamiliar with. And I found out that many of the classic dictionaries like Merriam or Oxford are actually adding these contemporary words to their timeless vocabulary vaults some that have recently been added. Number one would be glitchy. This is not a technical term that refers to software. Instead, if you today forgot your keys, you forgot your wallet, and you left the oven on, you're not tired, you're glitchy. And so that's been added. Another one's called mouse jiggler. If you're a stay-at-home worker, you're familiar with this. It's the idea that there's a piece of equipment that can keep your mouse moving to show you have an active status online while you take a nap, okay? Another one is called touch grass. And this is the idea that when you have become overstimulated that you are kind of spacing out, you need to go outside and touch grass. And then this is one of my favorites, a situation ship. A situation ship is a romantic relationship that is more than friends but has no formal commitment. Are you confused? So am I. And then this is my absolute favorite. And it was actually Merriam's Dictionary's word of the year last year, rage bait, which is the idea that content or behavior

is intentionally designed to cause someone into a fit of rage. I personally love this one because this is what I do to my kids. I rage bait my kids until they're glitchy. Then I tell them to go outside and touch grass, no cap. Okay, so with that being said, if you're under 20, you are appalled that I use that language. If you're over 50, you're just confused. Okay, so let's move on. Here's the point is that as time moves on, words get redefined. And as we have progressed in life, happiness has taken on some new definitions. Most of us practically believe happiness is found in two definitions. The first one is what I would call that it's ahead of you. Meaning that it's a when, then thinking. You know, when I graduate, then I'll be happy. When I get a job, then I'll be happy. When I get married, then I'll be happy. When we have a baby, then I'll be happy. When my baby grows up, then I'll be happy. When my baby graduates and leaves my house, then I'll be happy. When I retire, then I'll be happy. It's the idea that happiness is defined as always out of reach and in the next stage of life.

Another definition of happiness probably that most of us live by is just that it's a happening. That it's something that's gonna happen to you. You know, that it's once you reach a certain amount in an account, once you possess a certain, you know, favorite toy, well, it's something that happens to you at work. It's something that happens in your bedroom. It's something that happens in a relationship. Ultimately, that it's going to be external and it's going to come on me and I am going to be happy. Now, here's the problem. Most of us live by these two definitions. And these two definitions have yet to deliver. As a matter of fact, we're as unhappy as we've ever been. And we keep chasing these two things, but they never seem to fully come to fruition and satisfaction for us. I mean, we've bought stuff, we've owned stuff, we've arrived, we've went to different life stages, and yet here we are still unhappy. So we have a choice. You can continue to do what's not working, or you can redefine happiness with a new definition. And this new definition is one that comes from the scriptures. Here's your new definition of happiness. You ready for it? West Co, ready for it Jeff Co, ready for it at our Correctional Facility campus. Here it is. Happiness is wholeness. As a matter of fact, let's say it together. Happiness is wholeness.

In the biblical world, it's the word shalom. It's a Hebrew word that most often is translated as peace in English translations. It appears 230 times in the Old Testament alone, but let me say that shalom being peace, no, that's not a dense enough definition. As a matter of fact, if you get into the real understanding of this Hebrew word, here's what you'll find is it means safety. It means tranquility. It means prosperity. It is not just the absence of conflict. It is a robust experience. It is what we're looking for. And it's actually hidden in some of your favorite verses that you may not recognize. For example, number 622 holds the priestly blessing. And maybe you've heard this before. The Lord gave it to Moses to pray over the Israelites. And he says, tell Aaron and his sons, this is how you're to bless the Israelites. Say to them, the Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make his face to shine on you and be gracious to you. The Lord turn his face toward you and give you shalom. Jeremiah 29 and 11 is a favorite verse to put on a coffee mug or to put on the background of your phone. For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord plans to shalom you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. The root word of shalom literally means to be whole, to be complete. Nothing is lacking to put back into its original state or intent. It is happiness. It is wholeness. And if I were to give you a picture, not a definition, but a picture of what it does when it comes into your life, I would take you to Mark 5. Mark 5 finds Jesus going into a new territory after he's been on a ministry tour. And when he steps ashore, the Bible says that he encounters a man who's become local legend, referred to as the demoniac. He's a man who has broken away from the local society. He's a harm to himself and others. The scriptures say that he lives in the tombs, that he's been involved in the dark arts, and the darkness in him is overwhelming to the point that he cuts himself and breaks chains. Jesus encounters him and he says first to him, he asked the man, what is your name? And uniquely the man says, legion, for we are many. Now this is obviously evidence of demonic possession, but it's also a picture of anti-shalom because legion and we are many is another way of saying we are shattered. We are not whole. And so Jesus looks at this man who's shattered and not in shalom, and he sees his state that this man has no stability, no self-control, and he cannot rule over what's ruling him. And it's in this moment that Jesus does uniquely what only he can do, because Isaiah 9, 6 calls Jesus the prince of peace. Well, guess what in the Hebrew that means? Sar shalom, that he is not just a peaceful person. Sar means the captain or czar. It's a governmental authority term. So Jesus is the captain. He's the czar of shalom, and he can rule over what's

ruling this man. And in a moment he speaks to him and the demons flee, and this man is transformed as he is taken from his shattered state back to wholeness. As a matter of fact, it's so profound that when the townspeople come in Mark 5, 14, here's what happens. It says the herdsmen who were tending pigs that were nearby ran away and reported in the city and in the country what had happened. And the people came to see what had happened, and they came and saw Jesus, and then look what they saw. They saw the man who had been demon-possessed. Notice these three characteristics, sitting down, clothed, and in his right mind. Sitting down first and foremost is the idea that he is stable, that Jesus has restored stability to him. And that's interesting because I know it's difficult for us to see ourselves today as the demoniac, but if you consider unstable, well, many of us feel that. We swing on emotional pendulums depending on what happens at work, what happens in my family, what even happens in my own ruminations. I'm swinging, never seem to be settled. Instability, Jesus says shalom, and stability is placed. And out of this stability that's placed is a return of self-control. That this man is not gripped by a circumstance, but Now he's able to stand in the middle of difficulty and stake in control, which allows him to re-engage his purpose in one moment. Jesus has added stability, self-control, and this man can get back to doing what God's called him to do. The Bible also says that he's clothed. Well, this is the idea that he has been, dignity has been restored to him. That he now has a secure identity. That he's no longer recognized by legion of a tormenting spirit, but he is called by his God-given name. And this identity restored allows him to do what? Enter back into society. So in one moment, Shalom restores every relationship that was broken. And then finally it says he's in his right mind. And if you go to the original language in the Greek, right mind means safe mind or whole mind. This means it was a complete work. That in one moment with Jesus, this man went from self-hatred to self-control, from isolated

to connected, from tormented to restored, from shattered to Shalom in one moment. Now listen, the best news is this was not temporary. As a matter of fact, it was permanent. Because happiness that happens to you is temporary, but Shalom was permanent. You see, Jesus returns to this area 18 months later. He comes and the Bible says that he finds 4,000 people who are waiting on him. Why are they waiting on him? Because they saw this man in what he used to be and then they saw him what he is now. They saw him when he was shattered and then they saw him in Shalom. And they were waiting to meet Jesus because they themselves wanted to experience what this man had had. Listen, do you know what good news this is? This means for you and I that we no longer have to waste time chasing stuff that will not deliver. Listen, you don't have to go sightseeing to be happy. You don't have to go shopping. You don't have to build a new relationship. You don't have to have sex or find success. That those things that you and I have chased that do not deliver no longer have to be chased because we are offered something greater. We are offered Shalom. Listen, you don't need another temporary experience. You need to experience Shalom. You don't need this moment of tranquility. You need to understand there's a permanence in Shalom, that you and I don't have to have everything laid out in a perfect way in order for us to be happy because we can walk into difficulty and our inward man still settled, still tranquil, still in Shalom, that you and I are able to go into any moment, any circumstance and experience the peace of God. Not because it's emotional, but because we have experienced a deep work of God's Spirit where he comes in and puts us back together, where he goes to the layer of layer of layer

and pulls us into wholeness. Listen, happiness is not ahead of you. Happiness is not going to happen to you. Happiness is found when you invite the work of the Holy Spirit to come and make you whole. Now, now, listen, listen, everybody wants it, but the question is, how do you get it? There's a Psalm, Psalm 34, 14 says this, search for Shalom and work to maintain it. Now, what this tells me is that Shalom's not going to fall all in the sky and all of a sudden hit your life. You're going to have to chase it, you're going to have to choose it, and so what I want to do today is I want to give you three, what I'm calling significant decisions. This is not entry level kind of stuff, significant decisions, that out of these three decisions, if you'll choose to pursue them, to chase them, to choose them, you can find yourself experiencing what this man did in Shalom. Here's the first one. You have to refuse to live a segmented life. Now today, we have a lot of choices. There are 85 different flavors of Oreos. There are 100 different flavors of Pop-Tarts, 7,500 variations of apples. There are 6,000 different shows or movies that you can watch on Netflix right now, and if that's not enough, there's 200 other streaming services, and if that's not enough, there are roughly 9 million apps that you can download on your phone. You know, options are good when it comes to entertainment and food. Options are not good when it comes to who you are as a person. There is a dynamic that exists in most of us that was, a sociologist has called the theater of life. It's this idea that most of us walk into every occasion and we are performing not as ourselves but as a character would in theater. Let me say it this way. There's a work you, and there's a social you, and there's a family you, and there's a you your kids see, and there's a you that we see here at Twin Rivers, and there's a you

that you are to only yourself. And the problem is, is that most of us live our lives performing under these personas. And never recognizing the danger that that is, first and foremost, is that it's a fragmentation. We never actually are who we are, we just are playing a part in everybody else's story. But it's motivated by ungodly motivations. For example, the reason most of us do that is because of a painful past or some fear of the future. So if that's true, if most of us are acting because we're afraid of something that happened in the past or something that'll happen in the future, it means we're living most of our lives motivated by fear and pain. Fear and pain are never the voice of your heavenly father. They're always the voice of your spiritual enemy. In addition to that, they also, when you live in this theater of life, you risk your reputation because you're gonna walk into one room as one person and another room as another person, and eventually people are gonna start to realize you're not the same person. And what happens is your integrity lessons, your influence lessons, and do you know where the real tragedy comes? Especially when your family sees it. You know what a tragedy it would be

for the people on the fringe of your life to respect you, but the people in your own home not to respect you? And then finally it puts us in a place where we're just exhausted. It's gonna wear you out. I mean, can you imagine what it's like to act here and then act totally different there and have to remember how you acted here so that when you return to acting there that you can keep up with it? I mean, it's exhausting. It's a guaranteed way to be miserable, and it's the way most people live. Now, it makes sense for us to just say, well, quit it, stop, be the same person everywhere. And that sounds so reasonable, but can we just acknowledge that most of us are not doing that because we made a decision to do that. We're doing it because in our souls are these deeply ingrained patterns. They come from learned behavior and unspoken scripts from society and from pain and from fear. And before long, we're just doing it, and we wish we could stop, but we can't. So how do you stop? Well, here's the thing is first recognize I'm not talking about choosing a new way of life. I'm talking about changing. And you can choose, but if you gotta change, you need the spirit of God active in your life.

I think the key to this practically is personal worship, personal worship. There's a lot of studies that are showing right now that there's a great tie between neuroplasticity, which is the way your brain is structured, and people who worship. As a matter of fact, when you're in worship, your brain releases gamma waves that let you literally sense the presence of God. That's why you may be in a service like you're in today, and you've just got this sensation on your skin, and you started to cry. There's a physical reaction to what's happening is a spiritual reality. But what happens is is that they're studying that the more people enter into worship, so frequent and repeated personal worship, that all of a sudden their brain starts to restructure, that literally new neurons are passed, and new bridges are built, and that creates new emotional responses to reality. Let me say it this way. That's a neurological way of saying a theological term called sanctification. Sanctification is not when you choose a new way. It's when God changes you into a new person. I've got a verse for you that may be familiar. Now, it's a different translation than you're used to, but 1 Thessalonians 5, 23 explains what's happening. It says, now may the God of peace himself

sanctify you completely. May your soul, your spirit, your body be kept blameless before the Lord Jesus Christ. What this is ultimately saying, we say it each week in our services, is that's our devoted scripture, but in this translation, it's the word sanctify. It's the idea that God is showing up when you enter his presence. He's accessing your soul, your spirit, and your body, and he's making you blameless or whole. So when you enter into personal worship, you enter into God's presence. When you enter into God's presence, the Holy Spirit comes into your subconscious, and he starts mending what's fragmented, and he starts pulling together what's been broken, and he starts to bring wholeness to what's been shattered, and things you can't even figure out about yourself and memories that are still tormenting you and things you were taught that you don't even realize you're taught, he goes in and starts to make them whole, to where after a while, you've just been showing up to his presence, but you're leaving a totally different person. Now, let me say this, that for you and I, this is as about a good news as you're gonna get today, because this is what this means. To become who God destined you to be,

you don't have to go to any exotic place, you don't have to purchase anything, you don't have to get a promotion to promote yourself, you don't have to get a job. have to go see a doctor and you don't have to get another degree, you simply have to enter God's presence and worship. And as you worship, the Holy Spirit works. And as you enter His presence, He starts to repair what's broken. This man in Mark 5 was not okay with himself, tormented not from external circumstances but of the inside. And that is the way that many of you are living right now. You are tormented on the inside. Your mind constantly races, your own thoughts betray you, and your thoughts towards yourself are not God-honoring. You need to be put at peace with yourself. All you have to do is find God's presence and just like this man, you can be at peace with yourself. Because the repair that needs to happen happens when we enter into worship. Now here's the second choice you're going to have to make. You're going to have to resign from being your own source. Kayla and I a couple of days ago were talking about our family vacation coming up this summer and I just kind of had this moment where I realized, man, vacation's kind of different than it used to be for me. I mean, when I was a kid, vacation's fun. You just show up, you enjoy the activities, you just eat the food, I mean, it's wonderful. When you're the dad, it's none of that. It's planning, it's facilitating, and it is paying for everybody else's experience. What used to be kick back and relax is now a task or responsibility to be carried. Same word, totally different experience now. One of the greatest questions that will determine your quality of life is this, who's responsible?

You or the Lord? Are you responsible for all the provision? Are you responsible for the protection? Are you responsible for the wisdom that's needed? Are you responsible for opening the doors? Are you responsible for moving your life forward? Are you responsible for being everything to everyone? Are you responsible for that or is the Lord responsible for that? Because if you're responsible, you're not going to be very happy. There's a lot of pressure that comes with that. If he's responsible, you get to enjoy it like it's a vacation. Now here's the difficulty, is that even those of us who are followers of Jesus, we can even be deceived in this. We assume because I love Jesus, I've made him responsible for my entire life. But listen, we are sneaky. We are so sneaky that we can love Jesus fully and still not fully surrender parts of our lives. It reminds me of a theologian who was getting ready to speak in Melbourne, Australia, and before he took on the stage, a note was passed forward to him from someone in the crowd. The note ultimately was about an unanswered prayer and the person who passed it was asking if the theologian would address it before he shared what he had prepared. So the note reads like this, it says, Dear Professor, I am in great perplexity. I have been praying for a long time for something that I'm confident is according to God's will, but I do not get it. I've been a member of the church for 30 years and I've tried to be consistent in all those years. I've been superintendent of a Sunday school for 25 years and an elder in this church for 20 years. And yet God does not answer my prayer. I cannot understand it.

Can you explain this to me? The professor recognized the subtext of the note and so he came to the pulpit, read the note out loud and then asked the crowd, can you see the issue? He said the issue is this, this man believes that because he's been a member for 30 years of the church and he's been a Sunday school superintendent for 25 years at the church and because he has been an elder for 20 years of the church that God is under an obligation to answer his prayer. He said this is the issue for this man that though he completes his prayers in Jesus name, he's actually praying them in his own name. Faith is total dependence. It is allowing God to be God regardless of the outcome. And there is a consistent temptation in all of us to hold on to things, to get what we want from them. But true surrender is coming to God again and again and saying my life is yours. Now let me say this, you go, I think I have given God my life. How would I know what areas are not given to him? I've got a hint for you. It's the area you feel the most anxiety about. Anxiety isn't a sin. It's a signal. It's a light on the dashboard of your soul that shows you where you're still depending on your own strength. When you worry, when you stress, when you feel anxiety, what you have found is a place you still support. Consciously see as you're responsible for and here's what you do when you find it you resign You take that area and you say God I'm giving you my money Giving you my marriage. I'm giving you this season. I'm giving you this diagnosis. I'm giving you these kids I'm giving you this this opportunity. I Resigned from being responsible for this and I return it to you and as we do

Shalom becomes our experience Now here's the last one the last one is That we remember Where satisfaction is found in? Mark 5 the most telling detail that this man has been transformed is actually not the proof of That I've read you The the idea that the demons are gone or that he's sitting or that He's in his right mind the most telling proof that something has changed is found in verse 18 Let me read it to you. This is as Jesus is leaving as Jesus stepped into the boat The man who had been demon-possessed begged him Let me stay with you Now, can we just pause for a second and say that had I been delivered from demonic possession? Restored to my right mind and restored to society There's a lot of things I'd be interested in doing For example, if I would love to go home and sleep in my own bed. I Would enjoy going home and having my favorite meal. I Would look forward to getting my career back on track. I would be excited about seeing friends Can I be honest I probably after sleeping some years in a cemetery would go to a resort and check in at the spa and Yet this man says nothing about pursuing those things He doesn't say thank you. Jesus. I've got a reservation Thank you. Jesus. I can't wait to see my family. Thank you. Jesus. Oh, I cannot wait to lay in my bed He looks at him and says there's only one thing I want And it's you It's almost as though this man Understands the words of Charles Spurgeon when he wrote as there is the most heat nearest to the Sun So there is most happiness

nearest to Christ God is not a concept. He's not an emotion. He's not a doctrinal statement. He's not a chapter of a theology book God is a person Whose burning desire is to be known and know you in a relationship But most people who follow Jesus has made Jesus a means to an end He's the way they're gonna have success the way their family's gonna be protected He's their way to miss out on eternal damnation. He has become the means to an end But he is the end Let me say it this way the reward for following Jesus is Jesus and That's what this man realizes in this moment is Everything you've restored to me Leads to one place and it's you you're the reward It Reminds me there's been a lot of talk about space recently and space travel and in 1961 a Soviet cosmonaut went And became the first person to orbit the earth He returned and was interviewed and out of his Soviet, you know Background. He was an open agnostic he's quoted as saying in one of the Interviews that while in space I looked and looked but didn't see God there The British writer CS Lewis heard this statement from this agnostic cosmonaut and with wit responded and said Looking for God by exploring space is like seeing all of Shakespeare's plays in the hope that you find Shakespeare as one of the characters As an author Shakespeare's voice is ever-present

Each character each scene each plotline is a function of his imagination Shakespeare's fingerprints are on every page simply put Shakespeare is nowhere to be found and everywhere to be found He says to look for him as one within the framework with which he created is nonsensical The Apostle Paul wrote it different in Romans 11 36 He said, for from Him and through Him and for Him are all things. Let me say it this way, God's not a thing that makes you happy, He's the author of anything and everything that's ever made you happy. And behind everything that you have ever enjoyed is Him. He is the tenderness of holding your spouse's hand. He is the graciousness of someone who prefers you over themselves. He is the strength displayed in an athletic achievement. He is the brilliance of every discovery and He is the wisdom in every solution. He is the taste of your favorite meal. He is the smell of your favorite cologne. He is in fact the purity of a baby sleeping and He is the melody of your favorite song and He is the humor in a practical joke and He is the creativity in your favorite piece of art. He is the kindness of someone who has helped you. He is the patience in a parent who's offered to walk with you. He is also the warmth of a fire on a cold night. He is the breeze when your windows are down and you're driving fast. He is both the sunset and the sunrise and the beauty that is displayed. He is the mystery of looking into the stars and He is the comfort of being hugged by a family member who welcomes you home. Listen, tell me what makes you smile and I can show you where it's from Him and through Him and for Him. Tell me what brings you happiness and I'll show you how it's from Him and through Him and for Him. You cannot separate the two.

He is our satisfaction, which is why following Him as a hobby doesn't work. The idea that He's just something you could add to your life to have a better life never works out. The idea that your faith is an accessory to somehow propel your career or He'll help your marriage or protect your kids, it just doesn't work like that. He is the main point of life. And when you get that, then you realize this, no matter what life brings you, you can always be in shalom because you always have Him. Good seasons, bad seasons, great accomplishments, terrible failures, brokenness, and celebration. He is there and therefore I can be satisfied.