A Friend For The Fight | Jabin Chavez | City Light Church

2nd Corinthians chapter 7 verse 5 when we arrived in Macedonia there was no rest for us we face conflict from every direction now that's a big language from the Apostle Paul I've been I've been chewing on this verse all week going was there really no rest was it was it really conflict on every direction or is that how he felt and I would just say yeah probably a little bit of both huh because there can't there can come a point in your life where it just feels like man every everything just everything is a car everything is man I'm in a battle but Paul said it like this with battles on the outside and fears on the inside I got I got things going on externally and internally boy I got a lot going on in my life maybe you feel that way right now maybe you walked into the service going oh my god this is I think this is my life verse look at verse 6 so powerful but God whoo now I'm an old Pentecostal preacher so I cannot read but God and not just have a little bit of church real quick anybody grateful for a but God oh come on it's God ever intervene and intercepted in your life and just moved in at the right time but God who encourages those who are discouraged what does God do God encourages those who are discouraged that's what God does but how did he do it I know what God does but how how does God do it did he send an angel no did Jesus show up no did he get a scripture no all those things are wonderful but none of those things are how God ministered to Paul by the arrival of Titus God gave me a friend I got a friend his presence was a joy and so was the news he brought God gave Paul a friend and my prayer is that God would give every person in this church a best friend I feel like a 16 year old girl right now a BFF but I'm serious I'm believing God that he's gonna break every person out of isolation fear and discouragement and loneliness and God is gonna surround you not only with the Titus but God's gonna teach you how to be a Titus and I'm excited about it I want to talk about a friend for the fight a friend for the fight look at a neighbor around you and tell them no pressure no pressure but I really need you right now come on tell them I really need you right now all right that neighbor was so stuck up I know it's new new neighbor new neighbor apologize say

sorry I rejected you the first time I should have picked you now come on come on tell them one more time say no pressure I really need you in my life come on tell them I really need you in my life father I thank you that you're gonna give us a friend for the fight in Jesus name everybody said amen amen amen we have never been more technologically connected than we are right now we we all got a phone I don't I don't have to ask the question does anybody have a phone everybody's got a phone and the phone has come with many things and some of them very good some of them very bad but but one of the things that every phone has come with is it comes with the lie that this is enough for connection it can help in certain seasons and certain moments like I travel a lot and so I'm so grateful for FaceTime I'm so grateful that we can just throw FaceTime on in the house and in my hotel room and we can just kind of feel like we're together I'm grateful for some of that but technology is not connection technology is not relationship technology is not enough but what this communicates to me is that I'm connected but you could be very isolated though you're informed because in information does not necessarily mean that you are connected you could be informed and isolated so though we have more tech technology than ever we're more isolated and fearful than ever let me just say this about isolation and fear they're married and they breed each other so isolation creates fear and fear creates isolation and isolation creates fear and fear creates isolation isolation grades and and before you know it but you are isolated and you are afraid of breaking out of the isolation because now you're stuck in a cycle from hell. And so I'm praying that God breaks us out of that. I read some research today or this week that men are committing suicide at four times the rate of women in America, four times the rate of women, men are committing suicide. But what's amazing about men right now,

and people are talking a lot about men in our society, sociologists, how informed men are right now. They're watching more podcasts than ever. They're reading more books than ever. They're learning more than ever. They're more informed than ever. They're looking at way more porn than ever. That's why men aren't dating anymore. That's why men aren't getting married anymore because why go on a date and why chase a girl and why work for it when I can just go home and have Pornhub? Welcome back, pastor. Welcome back. Thank you. So pleasure does not necessarily free me from depression because you could look at porn five times a day and still be depressed. You could watch 10 podcasts a day and still be suicidal because information does not fix isolation. So pleasure does not necessarily free me from depression. Your phone cannot do for you what only people can do for you. But we have fallen in love with ease and pleasure. But see, not everything that feels good is good for you. And not everything that hurts is bad for you. We'll just stay in the vein that I'm already in since it's already quiet. Pornography feels good, but it's bad for you. Yeah.

The dentist hurts, but it's good for you. Cheesecake is amazing, but it's bad for you. The gym hurts, but it's good for you. But we have believed the lie that God wants to be comfortable and comforted and wants everything to be easy, but relationships are not easy and yet they're the plan of God, which means I'm gonna have to break out of the pain So it can't just be consumption. It can't just be information because consumption and information has come with isolation. So David Brooks tells us in his book, how to know a person. He says this, that the percentage of Americans who would say this, I have zero close friends, has quadrupled since 1990. Wow. In 2013, we spent on average six and a half hours a week with friends, 2013. And I read that and I go, man, that's a lot. Things have changed a lot in 13 years. In 2019, that dropped to four hours a week. Right now we are spending two hours a week with friends. That's it. 54% of Americans would say this, no one knows me well. That's why I have no problem asking you to be in church, begging you to serve and begging you to be in a small group because we're isolated. This isn't about helping me.

This is about helping you. We are, you know, I don't want to burn anybody out, man. I'm trying to get, I'm just trying to get people out of isolation. Let's just come, come, come. You know what some of the best things some of y'all could do? You should just come to church for the 1245. You should just stick around. You should go hang in the lobby and just look at people and just, hi, how are you? Why leave? What are you going to go do? What are you going to go do? Go get coffee, go get coffee. Come back, come back for the 1245. Just be around people. Oh man, they're serving on Saturday, but they're going to come on Sunday. Good, let them come to the house. Wow, amazing, wow. I think it's just good for us to get around the people of God. I think the devil's trying to isolate a whole nation and a whole culture. And see, because if I only can see you through this, you're not real. If I can only see you through this, you're just an image. If I can only see you through this, you're fake. You're just a picture. But if I see you and I hear you and I feel you

and I know you, then I'm now reconnected to the image of God within you. So 54% of Americans are saying, no one knows me well, but listen, the heart cry of every human is to be fully known and deeply loved. Maybe you've never heard that before or would know how to express that. But let me just say, all of us want to be fully known and deeply loved. Every man in here, every woman in here. The toughest dude, the most emotional woman, and the. Most emotional dude and most tough woman. We all want the same. We want to be fully known and yet still deeply loved Dr. Tim Keller said it like this to be loved and not known as superficial. Oh, what's up, bro? I love you, bro Oh, man, I love that guy who I don't know his name, but I love him man But that's superficial to be known and not loved is our greatest fear Yes, why people lie not everybody who lies is a liar Well, I shook you up, huh No, for real not some sometimes people like is they're trying to protect themselves because the devil's convinced them that they're the only one dealing with this weakness and How could I ever tell that to another person when what you don't know is that a ton of other people are dealing with that? But we're If we're in our secrets We're sick and we're only as sick as our secrets and as long as I'm keeping everything bottled in I can never get free So we so we go into the lobby go how you doing bro good bro good bro, and you're not doing it Hey lovebirds. How's that marriage? No, so good. We saw good. We're so good So good Yeah good as If no one else has marriage problems and marriage issues and not everybody else fights and yells and But to be known and not loved is our greatest fear But to be fully known and deeply loved is to be loved the way God loves us

That's our greatest need in life And Paul said I had battles on the outside and I had fears on the inside Here's what's amazing about that's a big verse. That's a that feels very spiritual to me. That feels very spiritual warfare to me That feels very Like man, I'm really going through it. So when he hits us in verse 6 with but God I'm waiting for like something really spiritual and It is spiritual, but it don't look spiritual Because we have so devalued humanity in our culture We've been devalued relationships and friendships in our culture So when Paul says God sent me a friend that feels practical not spiritual, but it's actually very spiritual Because it's what God does so in a world of texting and Instagram followers and Facebook friends We need friendship We need community we need spiritual family it is not good for man to be alone and When God says it is not good. This is before sin Wasn't like Adam was some crazy bad sinner and He had already fallen and God goes. Well, I've got put some good people around him No, no, this is a sinless man in perfect relationship with God and God goes it's not enough God is secure enough I'm not trying to mess up your brains right now. But see all I need is Jesus. I guess not All you need is what Jesus tells you you need That makes sense, so I do need Jesus but also need everything Jesus comes with And what he comes with is people so he looks at a man who is sinless and perfect and After all of chapter one going this is good And this is good, and this is good, and this is good, and this is good And this is good, and then he looks at Adam walking around the garden alone Naked y'all it was crazy. Yeah, this ain't good Home he needs a friend Because

Community please listen. I'm about to say something that I'm not even trying to get an amen for I'm just trying it. I'm When a preacher tells you something's important, it's usually not but this one's really important Community is not an answer to our brokenness Community is the fulfillment of God's design for our life I know that I know that's that I don't I don't know how that makes you feel right there But let me just help you here It's not like well I'm really jacked up, and I'm really messed up, and I've really screwed up my life, and I better get in church I better get around the right people no no no no you could be perfect You could be sinless But you still need community because community is the ultimate expression of what God has for your life friendship Relationships family to be known to be loved is not a need because of our sin it is not an answer because you are insecure or wicked. It is not needed because of sin or because of the fall. No, it is the fulfillment of the triune Godhead, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, who lives within community within himself. And now that I'm made in the image of God, I need the very thing that God put in me when he made me in his image. So the same way that the Father has the Son and the Son has the Spirit and the Spirit has the Father and the Father has the Son, in the same way that they are in perfect relationship within the Trinity, when he created us, we also need community. Not because you're a sinner, not because you're a bad person, not because of this, not because of that, not because of your propensities or because of your curses

or because of your issues, but because you're not really human until you're around humans. You're not really you till you're fully known and deeply loved. By the way, you'll meet people that they really love the Lord, but they ain't got no people in their life. They're nuts. Come on, somebody. They're nuts. Y'all ever met that person? They don't got no close friends, but I mean, just them and Jesus. And they're always weird. They're never normal. Because it's not good to be alone. Maybe that's what God was thinking about Adam. You're nuts. Adam's walking up the lines, God told me. He's like, all right, you need a friend. You need to get off TikTok. You need a friend. We need a... So from the beginning, God designed us to walk together. So relationships are not an answer to brokenness. Relationships are the master plan of God for our lives. Here's what I know about healthy friendships. Healthy friendships, godly friendships, they are the key to every other relationship.

A healthy friendship will affect your marriage, will affect your relationship with your kids, will affect your relationship with your parents. Godly friendships bring health to every other relationship. And by the way, the opposite is true as well. Show me an isolated person who has no friends, and you will see a wake of destruction in their life. Marriage is struggling, who are your friends? Addicted to a substance, who are your friends? Spiraling spiritually, who are your friends? Cold towards the Lord, who are your friends? God's secret sin, who are your friends? Show me your friends, and I'll show you your future. Maybe the answer to that relational issue is actually a friend, a Titus. My wife and I got to preach a few years ago in South Africa, and after we preached, we took a few days, and we went on a safari, and it was really cool. We saw the big five, I don't remember what they are now, but they were big, five of them, they were big. And we got to go see all the animals and all this stuff. And we hop in the Jeep with the driver, and he goes, hey, what's your name? And I go, I'm Titus. And he goes, hey, what's your name? And I go, I'm Titus. And he goes, hey, what's your name? And I go, I'm Titus. And he goes, hey, guys, there's only one rule for the Jeep.

You could film, you could take pictures, you could use flash, you could talk, you could eat, you could do whatever you want in the Jeep. Here's the rule, you can't leave the Jeep. There's one rule, stay in the Jeep. If that big old bull elephant comes and rams the Jeep, you stay in the Jeep. And if that rhino comes and rear ends us, you stay in the Jeep. And if a lion jumps into the Jeep, you stay in the Jeep. Oh, yeah. Because as long as we're all in the Jeep, we're kind of one big multi-headed animal that's bigger than all of them. So even if they jump in, they're kind of confused. And even if they get close, they're kind of confused at what you are. So eventually, whatever that animal is, they'll give up and leave. But the moment you jump out of the Jeep, you're dinner, thank you. You become lion lunch. You become cheetah breakfast. You're cooked, you're done. You know, when the lions prowl and go after the zebras, go after the gazelles, they don't go to the middle of the pack. They find the little ones around the edge. They find those that are not tight within community. They find those that have gotten out of the Jeep,

out of the circle, out of the crew. And that's who the lion goes after. That's who the animal goes after. I've just come to ask somebody, get back in the Jeep. Stay in the Jeep. You're safe in relationships. You're safe in friendships. You're safe in spiritual family. You're safe in community. I'm telling you, life is better together. You're not really you until you are surrounded. You're not really you until you're surrounded. If you've ever been alone, you know, people even say things like this. Okay, here we go. That's in my notes. Who you are when you're alone is who you really are. That ain't true. Character is who you are when no one's watching. Bull crap. Sorry, Kevin. Sorry, I got on the front row. Sorry, Kevin, judge me. My bad, dog. Listen, listen. I'm kidding. No, go be alone. You're gonna be an idiot. That's not you. That's you isolated.

I'll just go down with a strip on a Friday night. Just see what happens. You're cooked. Yeah, you know, I'm just gonna cut off all my friends and all my family and everybody. I'm just gonna, no, no, you're done. That's not who you really are. Who you really are is who you are in Christ around Christian, that's the best of you. That's the image of God in you. Does that make sense? I'm trying to. That's why you shouldn't be isolated. That's why you shouldn't be alone because you will act out of character and become something very dark that is not who you really are. So relationships are shaping us. They're directing us. If you want a prophecy of who you're gonna be in the future, if you wanna know what you're gonna look like in five years, just look at your five best friends. When God wants to bless you, he puts a person in your life. When the devil wants to destroy you, he puts a person in your life. So choose wisely. All right, I'm looking at the clock. When's the next service start? Oh, we're in trouble. I haven't got to my notes yet.

Okay, here we go. You're like, keep going. Who cares about the 1245? They're already out on sunset, mad, cussing. They need a friend. They should have better friends. Point one, here we go. I got 11 minutes. I believe in miracles. Friends arrive, friends arrive, friends arrive. Friends show up. How did God encourage Paul? He said, God encourages those who are discouraged by the arrival of Titus. Friends show up. Friends lean in. Friends press, friends. A real friend shows up, uninvited. Think about Mark chapter two, verse three. The Bible said that Jesus is teaching and he's preaching. And so look at this Mark chapter two and verse three. Some people arrived. You just got to show up. And the four men brought a man who was paralyzed to Jesus. I don't know how that convo went early that morning, but they show up at the house. They go, hey, we heard about this guy, same as Jesus. They're calling him the Messiah. He's been healing people. We're gonna bring you to him and have him pray for you.

He goes, I don't want to go. They said, too bad. I'm not leaving the house. Too bad, we're picking you up. We're literally gonna pick you up and drag you to church. You're gonna get to Jesus. And they get to Jesus and it's like the 11 o'clock service. It's like the 9.15 service. There's no more room. There's nowhere to go. So you know what they do? They climb to the top of the house and they dig a hole in the roof and they drop him down to Jesus. And Jesus saw their faith, not his faith, their faith. Oh, you better have a friend when you have no more faith. I ain't got no more faith, but I got a friend. And even if my faith is low, if I got a friend, I can make it. So I'm gonna grab a hold of my friend's faith while I'm making it through this season and their faith is gonna carry me through. There's gonna be two seasons of your life. The majority of your life is gonna look like this. You're gonna be carrying people to Jesus. That's the majority of your life. The majority of your life, you're gonna be carrying people to Jesus. It's gonna be awesome. You're gonna be helping people get to Jesus.

You're gonna be Titus in the scripture. But every once in a while, you're gonna be a Paul. You're gonna be a paralyzed man and you're gonna need someone to carry you. Not if, when. There's gonna be a moment in your life you're gonna have to look at someone and go, you're gonna have to carry me through this. And you better have that person. Real friends arrive. Real friends walk in when everyone else walks out. That's what a friend does. I want to be that kind of friend. Anybody else? I want to be that kind of friend. Number two, friends encourage. Friends encourage. God who encourages those who are discouraged encourage us by the arrival of Titus. God encouraged Paul through Titus. And God encourages us through Titus, through friends, through people. To encourage is to give courage. It's to place courage into. It's to put in courage. It's to give away confidence. It's to give away hope. It's to restore strength. You take something and you place it into somebody else. To encourage.

Don't overthink it, just do it. Acts chapter four, verse 36. There was Joseph, one of the apostles, now think about this. The apostles nicknamed him Barnabas, which means son of encouragement. Some of y'all have been called son of something else, but look at this. Joseph, you're so encouraging. We can't even call you Joseph anymore. You got a new name. What? Yeah, Barnabas. Child of, you're so encouraging. It's like your mama and your daddy were encouragement and they produced encouragement. Everywhere you go, you lift the room. Everywhere you go, you lift heads. Everywhere you go, you brighten the day of somebody. Everywhere you go, you're helping somebody make it. Everywhere you go, you're helping somebody believe in God again and believe in themselves again. You're so encouraging. We can't even call you Joseph anymore. New name, encourager. Man, I wanna be that guy. I want our church to be that kind of church. I want our people to be that kind of people. I want our small groups to be that kind of small group. I want our worship to do that.

Come on, the Bible said in the book of Psalms, he's the glory and the lifter of our head. That's what God does. And if that's what God does, that's what we should do. You will never lose helping someone else win. You'll never feel worse about yourself by making someone feel better about themselves. Come on, who's ever gossiped? Come on, raise your hands. Don't lie and you'll go to hell. Don't lie, come on. Some of y'all need to lift your feet up too. Come on, amen. We've all gossiped. You know, you don't feel good when you gossip. You don't lay your head on your pillow and I go, man, I'm so glad I trashed that person. I was like, no. Feel bad. Do you know what, when you speak life about people, you don't lay in bed and I go, man, I was just, I was too kind. I was too gracious. I shouldn't have been nice to that person. Man, I shouldn't have been great, no. You're never gonna feel worse by making someone feel better about themselves. Let me just say, let me just say something. People need more encouragement. They need more love.

They need more praise. They need more compliments. They need more, not less. I know what you're thinking right now. Yeah, yeah, me, I do. Jamie, what about me? Okay, those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed. That's the Bible for what I just said. As I refresh others, as I encourage others, as I strengthen others, God will make sure that I get mine. Talk to all the married people in here. You know what, your marriage, it probably doesn't need whatever you think it needs. It probably needs more encouragement. It probably needs more gratitude. It's probably not more sex, more money, more romance, more this, more that, more time off, more. No, it probably needs just more gratitude. What if you just started thanking your spouse specifically for the things they've done for you? Hey, thank you for that. I really appreciate that, thank you. If I love you isn't cutting it, it's probably because they need gratitude. I said I love you, I know, but what does that mean? You also said you love your car. I can tell Shannon, I tell Shannon and Goldie I love you so much every day, but I also love golf. I'm just being honest, I love golf. And I say it, so I don't know.

So you know what's better, to say thank you. Wives, thank your husband for working hard. Well, he should, he should. And how's that working for you? Husbands, thank your wife for cooking that dinner. Thank her for pressing that shirt. Thank her for helping around the house. Check on her, encourage her this week. Hey, school's back, how you feeling? How's that going? Is that better for you? Are you excited? Encouragement, specific. Here's how we do it in the West. We are general with our praise and we're specific with our criticism. And that is. They recipe for disaster. Like, I was thinking about that the other day, like, why do I get so frustrated? Like, I'll post a sermon clip, I'll get 20 comments, right? And it's like a thumbs up, and it's a hand raise emoji, and it's a fire emoji, and it's a preach it pastor, and it's an amen, and it's, and then all of a sudden, and then there's one negative comment. Why does that one get in me so bad? It's not because I'm so insecure and I just want everyone to like me, it's because it's so specific. You said, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra,

and all these mega church pastors just went ra, ra, ra, ra, and what is he doing with his hair? Ra, ra, ra, ra, ra, ra. And you just want to DM them and go, let's meet outside, bro, because I believe in the Second Amendment, and I'm ready to, stop. It's not that I'm so insecure, it's that it was so specific. That happened last night. After I preached this, a woman wrote to the Instagram, and she was like, I really like the church, but you talk about money too much, and you do this, and you do the, and I was like, girl, did you not hear a word I said tonight? So I blocked her, come on, somebody, block! All right, stop. Some of y'all need a little blocking ministry, but here's what you do, here's what your family hears. If you're a Democrat, all you do is, I am Trump, and you're Trump, this and that, and if you're Republican, oh, Biden and Kamala. And all you do, and it's so specific, and then you look at your family and go, love you guys. Why don't you change it up? Hey, politicians suck. You guys are amazing. And then start speaking life over every child,

over your wife, over your husband, over your friends. Can I get a good friend in here to shout me down a little bit? Come on, speak some specific, encouragement. I'm not saying don't have an opinion, I'm just saying, my God. We're so good at the critical, but we have not learned how to express the positive, and it affects our friendships. Don't overthink it, just speak life. Just speak life, it's so easy. And it's so life-giving, and it's so good. So good to say good words. The tongue is the power of life and death, it's up to you, y'all. Proverbs 18, 21, power of life and death, it's in the tongue. You need to speak better words. And again, I know, it's like, well, I need something more spiritual than this. You're plenty spiritual. It's time to stop praying and fasting, and it's time to start speaking better words. It's like, y'all. Lastly, I'm done. Almost, don't leave. Friends speak, they speak. Who can speak to you? Who can challenge you?

Who can tell you no? Who can challenge you without the fear of being cut off? You gotta have a few people in your life that can be 100% honest with you. Not everybody, not everybody gets to criticize you, not everybody gets to speak in your life, not everybody has earned an opinion, but it would be unhealthy if no one could. Yeah? Pastor Jacob called me last week, my pastor, and he calls, I go, hey, man of God, I call man of God, man of God, not man of God, man of God. He goes, hey, man of God, and I go, what's up? He goes, am I your pastor? I said, oh, crap, he's about to just torch me right now. I go, you were before you called, kidding. I said, yeah, you are. He said, all right, can I tell you something? I said, yeah, you can. He went in. He said, I love you. I said, I love you too. Gotta have somebody who can do, you gotta have somebody, see, because we all have blind spots. I don't have any blind spots. That is your blind spot. You don't see it from where you're sitting, but they can see it. You gotta have, I would hope there's somebody in your life

that can go, hey, man, you got a little something in you. Come on. Hey, you got a little. You smell a little weird, like what happened today? Did you, I didn't shower. I could tell, we could all tell. Somebody's gotta be able to say that to you. Not everybody, but you know what, spiritually, someone has to be able to go, hey, I saw that post, yeah? you should delete it you should delete that somebody should be able to do that hey i'm so grateful to be in your close friends so grateful but wow we should delete all those close friends posts that you posted and we should go to counseling let's go to counseling let's get so you know what i mean it's like a lighten things up on your so hopefully somebody can go oh you good you got some spiritual junk in your if we walk in the light as he is in the light that's where i want to live i want to live in the light but how do i live in the light watch this we have fellowship with one another how do i walk in the light fellowship and then and then here's what it does it purifies us from all sin jayben i pray jayben lay hands on me jayben i need to be delivered you probably need a friend wounds from a sincere friend are better than the kisses from an enemy does does everybody get to wound you no you're not you're not a doormat you don't you don't let everybody but somebody's got to be able to wound you or you'll get kissed right into deception man someone's got to be able to press and it's not me that's not what i'm saying i'm not god's going to give you those people here's where friendship starts it starts with the lord he's the best friend he is like the best friend ever and here's what he says under this beautiful new covenant of

grace it's different than the old covenant he says i i no longer call you servants i called moses a servant i called called solace servant i called jeremiah's servant i called isaiah's servant but i'm not using that language anymore because they don't know his master's business in other words they could only see a part they didn't really understand all that i was doing but instead now i'm calling you a friend because everything i've learned from the father i've made known to you jesus says i call you friend are you a friend of god do you know the lord